The stupid question; Neg, Poz, indecetable?

[muscmtl]

Not on BBRT, but when cruising on chat sites or manhunt, a4a, gay411. etc. I just don't get how a guy can ask for my status once I said that I bareback. Clearly neg guys who are horny but don't want to risk it! I love that they are willing to believe in my answer and that if I say neg, then I can co over and shoot in their ass. I haven't lied so far, but tempted to start. I'm undetectable but hell, why is it that it is my responsibility to assume the risk! Especially in anonymous random sex encounters, if you willing to get juice in your ass, then manup and understand the consequences. if you insecure, then just don't bareback!

Just ranting here, since posting here is like preaching to the choir (but hell, preaching to my choir feels good.)

Steve

[GermanFucker]

Especially in anonymous random sex encounters, if you willing to get juice in your ass, then manup and understand the consequences.

Just playing devil's advocate here, but: Doesn't expecting others to man up mean that you don't have to man up enough to just give a simple question a direct answer?

IMHO all kinds of personal preferences are valid and everyone should have the right to ask them. Be it HIV status, body weight or hair color. That doesn't mean we actually have to fuck with the guys asking the question. If a guy online asks the tenth question about the size and shape of my feet, the only answer he will get is: " Sorry, dude, I don't like the vibe you're giving off, I'm not a fetishist. Happy hunting and goodbye."

But hey, I'm an adventurous guy and enjoy having my preconceptions challenged. If I only wanted to fuck with guys with a similar mindset I'd have to stick to fucking the same dozen guys all the time. Which is also a valid preference. Just not mine.

[TxBBTop]

See, if it were me, and I was poz, i would still explain to them what undetectable means and how the risk is practically non-existent. I would tell them that they have more risk play with another "neg" barebacker then an undetectable poz guy.

However, if there was a bottom bent over in a bath house or bookstore, i wouldnt think twice about breeding him regardless of status. if he is bent over and public then he is asking for it.

[hungry_hole]

...However, if there was a bottom bent over in a bath house or bookstore, i wouldnt think twice about breeding him regardless of status. if he is bent over and public then he is asking for it.

I agree with TxBBTop in that in anonymous settings anything goes and in my opinion not disclosing or lying about status is not even unethical. On the other hand, when two guys treat each other as people and not as a cock or a hole, disclosure and honesty are relevant.

[tnucman2]

I have to agree with you. I have always barebacked and never asked. i appreciate it when guys are honest about their status but I have gotten to the point that I 'I'll take a poz load knowingly. what I don't get is the top that comes over and expects you to have a condom for them

[muscmtl]

All good points, but never address the real issue. Words coming out of someone`s mouth may all be fair and good and honest, but at the end of the day, it s the neg guy who will have deal with what happens. What if I lied when saying "don't worry, I'm neg as well," and the bottom decided to go for it. The bottom can scream, take me to court, sue and cry... it won't change the fact that he is now poz.

What I m saying is that when you drop all emotions from the equation (trust, lies, honesty and all that bullshit) if you are neg and allowing a guy to cum in your ass, you can`t blame the other guy for making you poz. No repeating to everyone "but he told me he was neg" cause it won't unpoz you.

[hornyfather]

All valid points thus far. A top can say he's neg based on his last HIV test, which could be months ago. Even if it was only weeks ago and he's gone out and bred any number of asses since then, "neg" no longer has any meaning.

My take on it is that if a bottom asks a top what his status is, it is the tops responsibility to tell him based on his last HIV test. The bottom should then ask more questions if they really care about staying negative, such as, "when was your last test" and "have you barebacked since your last test". The answers to these questions must also be taken into consideration when deciding if the bottom should take the tops raw cock and cum. Ultimately, what I'm saying is that's it's the bottom's responsibility to ask the right questions and then decide what he wants to do based on those answers. I only feel the top should be honest is all.

I also agree that in anonymous situations such as bathhouses or bookstores and the bottom doesn't ask the top's status, it is not the top's responsibility to tell him. Doesn't mean he can't make sure that the bottom is aware if he's poz, but I don't think it should be assumed he will.

[Male22192]

Not on BBRT, but when cruising on chat sites or manhunt, a4a, gay411. etc. I just don't get how a guy can ask for my status once I said that I bareback. Clearly neg guys who are horny but don't want to risk it! I love that they are willing to believe in my answer and that if I say neg, then I can co over and shoot in their ass. I haven't lied so far, but tempted to start. I'm undetectable but hell, why is it that it is my responsibility to assume the risk! Especially in anonymous random sex encounters, if you willing to get juice in your ass, then manup and understand the consequences. if you insecure, then just don't bareback!

Just ranting here, since posting here is like preaching to the choir (but hell, preaching to my choir feels good.)

Steve

I think their is blame, responsibility to go around on both parties, but if I had to weigh it, I would say the majority has to go onto the poz guy. You ask why is your responsibility? Simply put because you know better more so then anyone else since you are poz yourself.

Now if someone has their ass backed up against a gloryhole or in a sling in the middle of a bathhouse or sex club, that's a different story.

If someone asks and you dodge the question saying something else, that is a lie IMO because you are implying being neg. An omission, or twisting things around is a lie. Here's a little food for thought. Sometimes I don't like posting my pic on Craigslist, but I always let people be aware that I am an X-Large Chub in the ad itself, because I think any future sex partners have a right to know before I waste their time. I just wanted to see how many responses I would get if I omitted the chub part. It was at least 4 times more. Yeah, it sucks not being able to have as many men to choose film, but it is the adult, responsible thing to do. --- That's how I feel about HIV if that makes sense.

[Sobemaster40]

I think their is blame, responsibility to go around on both parties, but if I had to weigh it, I would say the majority has to go onto the poz guy. You ask why is your responsibility? Simply put because you know better more so then anyone else since you are poz yourself.

Now if someone has their ass backed up against a gloryhole or in a sling in the middle of a bathhouse or sex club, that's a different story.

If someone asks and you dodge the question saying something else, that is a lie IMO because you are implying being neg. An omission, or twisting things around is a lie. Here's a little food for thought. Sometimes I don't like posting my pic on Craigslist, but I always let people be aware that I am an X-Large Chub in the ad itself, because I think any future sex partners have a right to know before I waste their time. I just wanted to see how many responses I would get if I omitted the chub part. It was at least 4 times more. Yeah, it sucks not being able to have as many men to choose film, but it is the adult, responsible thing to do. --- That's how I feel about HIV if that makes sense.

I concord with your on your post, about who's jobs in telling status. People should be honest up front about their status. When I was 22 years old, I bareback an African brother that told me after dumping my load he was POZ. I ask what was the point in tell me after the fact? He tells me you should know since; you dump your load in my ass. I loved the person so I would've had protected or unprotected sex with him. However, to this date I'm still negative as 5/2/2012. When I was 15years old, a Youth Group Leader and his lover that pin

me down while GYL dump his POZ load in my virgin ass. I just wanted a ride home wasn't looking to have sex with old people that smelled bad. anyways, I just ascertain and join my local bath house. I'm having fun there with three people I BB. I only dump my load in one of them. only want to see the 18 and 22 year old that I barebacked.I want to know why some people get POZ and others don't? I'm not asking to come POZ, its just weird some get it and others don't. I'm kinda want to try BB with a person that will take it slow. Because I run into people that want to show me pain. However,this event always take me back to the day i was raped. i dont know how to get pass it.

[cam1972]

All good points, but never address the real issue. Words coming out of someone`s mouth may all be fair and good and honest, but at the end of the day, it s the neg guy who will have deal with what happens. What if I lied when saying "don't worry, I'm neg as well," and the bottom decided to go for it. The bottom can scream, take me to court, sue and cry... it won't change the fact that he is now poz.

What I m saying is that when you drop all emotions from the equation (trust, lies, honesty and all that bullshit) if you are neg and allowing a guy to cum in your ass, you can`t blame the other guy for making you poz. No repeating to everyone "but he told me he was neg" cause it won't unpoz you.

First off, trust, lies, honesty and etc are not emotions. Those are ethical issues. And yes, they can and SHOULD blame the guy who knowingly lied to them and said they were neg. No, it won't un-poz you, but it sure as hell does not let the liar off the hook. Yes, at the end of the day, it is the neg guy who will have to deal with the consequences, but these are consequences that could have and should have been avoided had the poz been honest. You can try and justify lying all you want, but it is still wrong. Everyone deserves respect. And part of giving someone respect is being honest about your status. That is the real issue. Respect. It's not "The stupid question". It's a question that deserves an honest answer.

[boywonder]

First off, trust, lies, honesty and etc are not emotions. Those are ethical issues. And yes, they can and SHOULD blame the guy who knowingly lied to them and said they were neg. No, it won't un-poz you, but it sure as hell does not let the liar off the hook.

You can try and justify lying all you want, but it is still wrong. Everyone deserves respect. And part of giving someone respect is being honest about your status. That is the real issue. Respect. It's not "The stupid question". It's a question that deserves an honest answer.

Amen. You only deserve to forfeit your rights when you infringe upon someone else's.

[cam1972]

Amen. You only deserve to forfeit your rights when you infringe upon someone else's.

Wow! You said it so much better and much more succinctly than I! Totally agree!

[muscmtl]

Well, thanks to all of you, HIV will keep on spreading. HIV thanks you for keeping all the rights, honesty, it is an emotion, thou shall not lie, crap alive. Of course, as a virus, HIV cares about these issues and will not transmit itself if it feels its host is being dishonest.

The only message that should be passed along, and that works, is to take the donor out of the equation and make the receiver 100% responsible. "If you need to ask for the top's status before you bareback, then don't bareback."

And to end on a happy pig note: was at the peepshow last night and fucked bb two hot guys, one after the other... They just sucked me, pulled down their pants and shoved my dick right up there. Too bad these types of things don't happen to me all the time.

[GermanFucker]

Well, thanks to all of you, HIV will keep on spreading. HIV thanks you for keeping all the rights, honesty, it is an emotion, thou shall not lie, crap alive. Of course, as a virus, HIV cares about these issues and will not transmit itself if it feels its host is being dishonest.

What's the alternative? Safer Sex? Abstinence? Men will have sex the natural way. I can't understand how some guys think that a little respect and consideration (you don't even have to be open about everything, a little white lie to sugarcoat the truth is ok, if the interests of the other person are taken into consideration) is an insurmountable task whereas never fucking the way God intended was the easiest thing to do. That's like saying abstinence works. Technically true, but it has nothing to do with reality.

[cam1972]

The only message that should be passed along, and that works, is to take the donor out of the equation and make the receiver 100% responsible. "If you need to ask for the top's status before you bareback, then don't bareback.";)

I couldn't disagree more. Being an adult brings responsibility. For your actions, for your words, for the way you treat people. Especially when you don't respect others. You act as tho the "donor" is a god. Removed from the human aspect of life. As GermanFucker says, man up and take responsibility for your actions. You don't get a free pass just because others may be naive.

Oh, and by the way, Webster states the meaning of emotion as "a strong feeling (such as love, anger, joy, hate, or fear)". So first of all, honesty is not an emotion. Nor is it crap.