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Someone posted his "rules" for CL ads --


Guest Matias47

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Guest Matias47

I saw this ad this morning on Craigslist, L.A. It's somewhat amusing, thought I'd share it.

"1: if the poster does not post any pics but demands that you send him one first, he's acting in bad faith, move on.

2: Tops who advertise with limp dick shots -- avoid them, they won't get it up in person, either. (exception: the guy that posted his cock is limp and asked who can make it hard.)

3: Morons who answer ads without pics, when you've posted yours and told them they need to reply w/ pics -- need to be steadfastly ignored.

4: if the email exchange hits 5 without a hookup being set move on.

5: Those that avoid answering questions and ask for more pics are collectors. Move on.

6: Don't take out an ad (or answer one) claiming to be a top and then ask to be fucked, for Chrissake say your vers.

7: Don't say you use condoms and then try to BB when you hook up. Be honest.

8: Try to respect DL guys who don't want to send face pics -- you can always meet outside to see if you like what you see.

9: Post all of your prefs up front. Though most do this, many do not. Don't post a one line ad, i.e., a pic of a hard cock and "Hit me up." and then get offended when you get people outside of your preffered type. Get it all out right away.

10: If they need to be picked up and brought back, they're complete losers.

11: To the pros -- Jesus, guys, it costs 5 bucks to post an ad on backpage dot com -- there are other reasonable sites as well. There's a movement afoot by law enforcement and politicians to shut down CL personals because it's starting to be seen as the replacement for the old Erotic Services section."

Too bad it wasn't written by a comedian, there could be some laughs there.

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In my experience, these rules are all 100% accurate. And I use CL for 90% of my hookups!

1) That's the best. When they have no pics in their posting, but demand that you send face, body and dick IN THE FIRST EMAIL or "you will be ignored"—don't even bother responding to these guys.

2) No one should ever post a limp dick pic on craigslist, or send one to a guy trying to hook up.

3) I am not a nazi about ignoring everyone who doesn't send a pic, but if the ad said, specifically, "Pics or no reply", they either don't read, or don't care what you want.

4) More than 5 emails, and it just some bored horny guy getting hard thinking about a hookup that will never happen. Agree, move along! Unless the other emails are something important, ie: "Are you disease free?" "Are you ready to come right now?" "Address?"

5) If you plainly ask questions in your reply, but they ignore them and seem to be having a conversation with themselves, total fake.

6) Agreed, don't misrepresent what you're in the mood for. Nothing worse than a "top" who wants to bottom, or a "bottom" who wants to flip fuck.

7) Whether you two bring up condoms is a case by case basis.

8) This is a big one. If a DL/discrete guy doesn't want to send you a face pic, it DOESN'T mean he's fake. See if you can get a dick pic out of him at least. Straight guys with girlfriends, wives, family, are very paranoid. Some of my BEST hookups ever were with guys who didn't send a face pic beforehand. Be open to possibilities. You can always slam the door in his face if he really is a monster.

9) Be as detailed as possible. A couple words and a dick pic are meaningless and make you seem like a fake pic collector.

10) Agreed, if they require YOU to provide transport for them to and from your place, they're a total loser.

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In my experience, these rules are all 100% accurate. And I use CL for 90% of my hookups!

8) This is a big one. If a DL/discrete guy doesn't want to send you a face pic, it DOESN'T mean he's fake. See if you can get a dick pic out of him at least. Straight guys with girlfriends, wives, family, are very paranoid.

You can also ad one's place of employment as well. No never did do anyone who held some kind of political office but I have done quite a few who were in broadcasting ( radio and TV ) and they are quite paranoid too. Actually one of the best fucks I ever had the top was this guy who was a reporter for a TV station in Buffalo, New York. We had sex at Pennsylvania's Hillside Campground, hardly inside the Buffalo market but still he was paranoid enough to make me swear to him NEVER to tell anyone about him and me and no he wouldn't give me his email for future contact either....BUT oddly enough he DID tell me which station he had worked for. Go figure !!! Of course I never did live in Buffalo or never had a reason to go there so their local TV means nothing to me like I would tell.

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"10: If they need to be picked up and brought back, they're complete losers."

No fucking way. Some guys are young, and in this economy, it might be hard to have your own place or a car. Plus, if I am going to fuck, I care about the guy being hot and kinky, not "winner" or "loser".

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I agree with hunglatindom. =] its not my fault my own home life is still complicated/strict/etc. And I'm worried about going to school, which means I'm still gonna have to be around family and receiving financial support from them. My best hookups were people who picked me up, then dropped me back off. Just because someone is a loser, or can't stand on their own feet, doesn't mean they should be shrugged off. You're on craigslist to hook-up, you never know. You might not have much luck elsewhere except with the "loser" boy. ;)

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How about this..... "poz top daddy needs ur throat and pussyhole" One of my regular titles. In the bread and butter of the ad I say all sorts of nasty shit and I post a rock-hard fatty pic of my dong. Lastly in the ad itself I reiterate the title "6ft tall, hairy, well built, 45yo, POZ daddy with a 7.5long x 6.5thick cut cock needs to get deepthroated and fuck some ass raw"

OK poz is mentioned twice upfront! then I get the generation y's with absolutely no reading comprehension emailing me with "hey dude, are you ddf?"

WHA????

This is my favorite slacker craigslist crap

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Although I rarely do it I've found some very HOT guys who I picked up. I picked up a guy at his college dorm who had one of the hugest cocks that ever fucked me. I've met several Latino guys who needed to be picked up and they were very hot. I have a regular fuck bud who just doesn't drive and has a roommate, but he fucks like an animal. These are less than 5% of my hookups but there are just some great fucks out there that don't have the wheels.

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I don't use CL but isn't a sure fire way to identify a faker is those guys who don't want to exchange cell numbers after you agree to hook up? Maybe it's wrong but I want the guy to text me and then I text my address back.

I prefer a face pic but will hook up with a body pic.

Have had some problems with guys posting very old pics. Don't post the tight body pics of you at 25 when you are plump and in your 40s. Ha!

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