Why I prefer old fashioned ways of meeting guys

[vrsbbltn]

When I started meeting guys, having sex, going to clubs etc. I was 18 yo (low 2000s), the internet revolution was starting to take place, not so many different and nice sites nor people were so open through it as today, but there were some sites and chat rooms where you could meet other guys for whatever you wanted. Thing is, because of this I'm talking about, I did not get to fully live and appreciate how things were done prior to the internet, as I was still underage. I feel almost everyone, even those who were out meeting guys when there was no internet, now prefer to do everything through this technology. Since low 2000s as of today, I've done things both ways, through the internet and the old fashioned ones. Thing is, I enjoy so much the excitement of doing things the old fashioned way. I love taking a bath, put nice clothes on, without knowing what will happen, just going out to the bar, drink and talk to a few people, then leave and go to the bath house where I can choose from many different options and have lots of sex, and after that I can stop at a cruising site on my way back home for even more sex. And if I were not to have sex, it's just nice to hit the bars, talk with someone, if it works excellent, if not, it's ok, I had a good time anyway, I got out, cleared my mind from everyday routine.

Now I'd like to talk about internet. With time, I've gotten so tired, fed up of it as a tool for meeting guys. For example, I have a mobile app to meet guys on my phone, and I get hit many times, or many inbox messages on this other website to meet men, and I tend to ignore them, even very hot ones, as I have become way to lazy having to go through the same procedure again and again and again and again and again and again is so annoying, as you don't know what the results will be, and things could be much simpler if we attach to the rules. For example, if you are up to have sex, then you have to deal with a LOT of different personalities, a few examples:

- those that are not so upfront about it, they need to talk with you for 2 hours about your hobbies, where you work, which kind of music and food you like, if you have pets, etc.

- those that are really only looking for friends and/or relationship, then when you tell them you are looking for sex, they get mad at you and you get lectured (I'm more than wrong when looking for sex at a web site or app designed to facilitate hook ups, you are more than right, I'm a dirty pig, everyone should be looking for love and friends as you are, you are in the right place, not me)

- those that are picky, and even though you look good in pics and even video, start asking things such as; are you toned, you work out, you like protein shakes, you like sports?

- the thousand question guys, general ones: you shave your body, how long is your hair, you wear eyeglasses, you have a goatee, you have pubic hair, you have tattoos or piercing.

Also, you have to deal with a LOT of liars. They make fake profiles with stolen pics. They lie about age, weight, height, dick size.

When, for example, going to the guy's place you met through the internet to have sex with, some get nervous, or ashamed of what they've already done, or whatever, then need even more time to chat in person, as if all the chat through the computer was not enough. On the other hand, when at a bath house or sex club, where you can see a few or a lot of guys all together who are willing to fuck, you just pick the one you like and that's it, no place nor time for chit chat and insecurities. What you see is what you get.

I have clearly stated what I'm looking for in my profiles, but it hasn't worked, same s***. You could write something like "I am looking for sex, only sex, again, only sex, one more time, sex", yet getting hit by many love and friends seekers, absurd as it sounds, it's like that.

In this time span, I have noticed fewer guys going to bars, bat houses and cruising places, fewer bars to go to. Less organized gay communities. Why all of this? because of technology.

When writing this I mostly focused on a sexual aspect. To find friends, I do believe internet is a good option, as you usually have more time and patience to know the guy, and it's actually much easier to make friends than at bars, where everyone is accompanied by someone and/or are too bitchy.

Even for sex internet works, as you get well informed of so many things, for example, sex parties in different cities you would not have known of, and you might be interested in attending them.

Anyway, I feel I made myself understood, what are your impression guys, when going for sex, which is more practical, more exciting, which yields the best results in the lesser time, which one you prefer: internet/technology or old fashioned ways or a mix of both.

[thomas12]

Sorry if I missed it, but what the hell kind of sites are you going to? BBRT (barebackrt.com) doesn't have anyone like that. If anything, they're a little too forward. I hear you on the old fashioned way and I agree, but I also don't look at a couple of pics online and say "let's fuck" (at least not usually). When you meet someone in person you have a chance to talk, get to know a lil about them. I really don't care where someone works, but I want to know if I'm fucking a HS dropout or druggie or someone driven. Most of all in person you get to see if there's actually an attraction. When you meet someone online, god it sucks cause you have no idea who you're getting. I've had a couple show up who were so fucking awkward and creepy yet on their pics they looked hot as hell. I kindly kicked them out. No pity fucks here. As for online attitude, dude, just laugh that one off. Everyone talks shit online cause they hide behind anonymity. I do ask guys questions like about their last few experiences (so I get a sense of what they like), cause I don't want some dude who simply puts "I like it dirty" to then take a shit on the bed. People tend to get impatient and maybe it's because of the other douche bags who ask 1000 questions and never have any intent to go through with it, but I want to get to know something about them before they show up to see if we have the same sexual interests. I don't like slaves or fisting, so when that comes out through chat, I kindly tell them we're not a good fit. Oddly enough, If I do an Internet hookup, I prefer no talking, just go at it. The awkward greet shit is the worst, save for a few really cool people.

Too bad there weren't underground BB club establishments all over the US where one could do just what you said. Cause at the few gay places I've gone I'm upfront about being a barebacker and they freak. lol.

[vrsbbltn]

thomas12---> Not much of an open bb community where I live, 70% fuck bb but are not open to accept it, so there are very few guys on bbrt.

It's worth asking the most basic questions as likes and sex styles. I've wasted my time many times. For example, I've met guys who only are into sucking. I am not the kind of guy who pushes things, if he's not into getting fucked I won't push it. 5, 10, 20, 40 minutes of sucking, I get SO bored and annoyed. Now I say what I like and what expect from the other person and it's much easier and straightforward.

[Totop]

- those that are not so upfront about it, they need to talk with you for 2 hours about your hobbies, where you work, which kind of music and food you like, if you have pets, etc.

- those that are really only looking for friends and/or relationship, then when you tell them you are looking for sex, they get mad at you and you get lectured (I'm more than wrong when looking for sex at a web site or app designed to facilitate hook ups, you are more than right, I'm a dirty pig, everyone should be looking for love and friends as you are, you are in the right place, not me)

- those that are picky, and even though you look good in pics and even video, start asking things such as; are you toned, you work out, you like protein shakes, you like sports?

- the thousand question guys, general ones: you shave your body, how long is your hair, you wear eyeglasses, you have a goatee, you have pubic hair, you have tattoos or piercing.

I don't know where you are or what app you are on but from what I've read on other forums the problem is the opposite. Guys online mostly looking for sex and not to date/chat/friends.

While I prefer to chat for a bit with someone to get a 'feel' of him, I've never gone onto any of the kind of conversations you mentioned. Yes guys dont read. My profile clearly states I prefer SINGLE (in caps) guys and every now and then I get messaged by attached guys. I decline and tell them I'm looking for single guys only. Some replied that "it's just sex" and I've responded "Sorry, I'm looking for more than just sex" I always state what I'm looking for and ask what the others expectation is. I suggest you take charge of the conversation ask a question about what you are looking for and work it that way.

e.g.

him: hey

you: hey. How are you?

him: I'm good. you?

you: horny looking to fuck. you?

If he is interested then ask

you: what do you like doing in bed?

him: I like to aaa bbb ccc in bed. you?

If he doesn't reply appropriately or starts to give you a roundabout answer. Just don't continue the conversation. Be straightforward but assertive and polite. To me a direct question gets a direct answer. Else I'll move on.

Edited September 15, 2012 by Totop

[ked239]

there's a huge amount of variation from person to person, I'm very rarely looking for a fuck right now when I'm online, if I really wanted a fuck tonight, I could just go out to a bar and pull some random guy, not faff around online, so the "let's fuck right now!" messages tend to wind me up a bit, especially when a guy gets a little insistent - why not tonight? well, cos i don't want to tonight, well what you doing that's so important? nothing really, just can't be arsed - and they seem to get all afronted cos i'm not pulling my jacket on straight away for their cock!

the advantage of online though is that neither of you tend to be pissed at online meets, making for a better meet on the whole, both know what the other's into, especially a bonus for sleazier guys of course, can pre-arrange meets around work/friend/family commitments, rather than just taking a chance on a fit guy being out when i'm out

on the whole, i tend to do online more nowadays, partly cos the gay scene round my way is dire and when i go out, i go out with mates to have fun (the normal kind), not to definitely hook up

[Pig Bottom]

I've given up with meeting guys online. I even tried in my local area just for friends and it didn't work. That's why I'm so glad to have a sex club near me. The hard part is finding a friend. Gay guys don't really seem to want friends, they want boyfriends. I'm cool with a fuck buddy or a friends with benefits deal too, but that's hard to. Plus I'm shy when I first meet someone so that doesn't help.

[filled-by-you]

i like online better b/c u know what they're packing and can ask directly what they want within the first couple messages

i can get on a4a and search for local guys hung 9+", online only

send msgs until someone replies and it can be quick as 3 messages and ur own ur way

usually get several replies quickly and i have my choice or can sometimes even swing a 3(or-more)some

u got to be upfront online and not deal with bullshitters, just block the bullshitters don't worry about being nice.

[hungry_hole]

I would think that for younger guys the Internet is much better because especially those who like guys their own age, they can hook-up with those they want to meet. I remember being in my late 20's, pre Internet times, and finding it difficult hooking up with younger guys I was interested in having sex with. Most cruising spots were and they still are frequented by mostly older men.

I was just reading a discussion group from Chile where they talk about some gloryholes in a university bathroom. Many young guys are complaining that too many older men hang around in this bathroom. Of course, the old men want young cock!

I prefer to hook up in person because as an older man I never know what the reaction will be when we talk about age while chatting. When I was visiting Chile and got on the chat, the first question was always "Age?" When you meet in person at a sauna or sex club there's no need to talk about age. You either like each other or you don't.

[powerbottom64]

I still like hooking up in the bars!