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how do you feel if told youve likely pozzed somebody


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just wondering how guys feel, when you see the doctor, and they talk about your viral load and your cv4 count.

my cv4 is pretty amazing, so the docs dont want to put me on meds, but that means my viral load is now quite high, (well medium range according to the doc) but she then said, your honest about the amount of bb sex you have and you go saunas and places, id ask myself have you pozzed anybody and her reply was - yes most probably.

i know this sounds bad, but i really didnt know how to feel about this. at first a bit shocked (as i thought my viral was low), but jsut dont know how i feel knowing that.

i still think its the responsibility of yourself if u do bb, and as long as i dont lie about it. whats everyone else think, and has the same thing happened to u

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As an undetectable top who'se on meds, i'd also feel horrible if I pozzed someone. I routinely tell my ex bf that I won't bred him and that he should not risk his health for a bit of happiness. Just don't understand why so,e people actually want to have a virus that can kill...

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.... i really didnt know how to feel about this. at first a bit shocked......u

No one can tell you how you should feel about something... Your feelings are always you own. It is certainly understandable to be shocked and confused about it, but good to think about how you do feel about it....which may be lots of things including feeling guilty or excited about it. I'd love to hear more about how you do feel about it. I don't believe though that you should feel responsible though about it. Guys who are choosing to bareback bottom must do so taking responsibility for their own actions, knowing that there is a risk to that.

But questions perhaps to talk about here might be what to do with those feelings and knowledge now, or how to handle yourself now...

Do you go back and tell guys who you are able to contact that you may have unknowingly had a viral load when you fucked them?

If it was very anonymous, you may not have the opportunity, and may just have to live with those feelings for a while, but don't beat yourself up about it as you didn't knowingly try to deceive them.

And then what do you do next now that you know is the big question

Do you disclose now that you know? There may be many guys on here now chomping at the bit to get fucked by you if you have a high viral load. Do you take advantage of that now while you have it, and experience knowingly making guys poz who you know really want to be? If you do choose to do that, I would suggest that you have some really thoughtful discussion with the guys first to ask them to really think about if they are ok with becoming poz, and if they have really thought it through. It's one thing to talk about it here, but sometimes another when the rubber really hits the road, and the reality of the possibility is a mere cumshot away.

Or would you feel guilty about even making guys poz who want to be?

If you realize that you really don't want to have that responsibility of knowing that you are empregnating guys with your HIV, then you may want to go back to your doctor, who it sounds like you have a good relationship with, and tell her that you want to go on HIV meds.

It is a bit of responsibility on your shoulders now that you know.

Edited by NiceHard1
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If I were poz, it wouldn't make sense for me to feel responsible for anyone else's health, unless I'm in a relationship that involves more than sex and we both assume we are in a monogamous relationship.

Even with a long-term fuck-budy I wouldn't feel responsible for infecting him if I found out myself that I was poz (or infected with other STIs). I mean, he fucks around, I fuck around. I was once called by the clinic because someone who had recently tested poz had given them my name and number. He had fucked me and bred me a month before. If I had tested poz I would have never blamed him for infecting me.

Anyone who wants to make sure of staying away from any kind of sexually transmitted illness should not get involved in anon sex and go to saunas. And if he catches any disease from having anon sex he has no one else to blame but himself.

There are millions of men who would like to have anon sex with men but they stay away from this activity because of the infections. When I decided to fully enjoy anon sex I chose to have no relationships and that way I was only responsible for my health and no one else's.

Every man who in involved in anon sex has to take personal responsibility and not blame anyone else. Otherwise, then just stay home or go to Church.

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  • 11 months later...

If you're poz, even undetectable, and are up front with me about your status, and I turn up poz later, don't feel bad. We both made the informed choice to go ahead and fuck bare. I know the risks and so do you. All I want is the first guy who fucks me bare and is poz, to look into my eyes as he unloads in me. I've been fucked bare for years, not recently, but not knowingly with a poz top yet. When I do, I'll tell you your're my first poz top and if you're okay with that we go ahead.

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As an undetectable top who'se on meds, i'd also feel horrible if I pozzed someone. I routinely tell my ex bf that I won't bred him and that he should not risk his health for a bit of happiness. Just don't understand why so,e people actually want to have a virus that can kill...

Im neg, but i would feel the same way. I also have a friend who unknowingly pozzed his BF last year. He is really messed up in the head about it to this day, even after a year. I would never want that feeling on my conscience.

I think its important to note that while its just an opinion, I don't think the vast majority of people want to inflict HIV on anyone else.

One of the reasons my one ex and I broke up was because he was somewhat flippant about the risk I was taking having unprotected sex with him. While he was undetectable and on meds he still wanted to breed me, to which I shut that down.

All that being said, if there is complete open and honest communication, and the person wants that risk, so be it. People are free to make their own decisions. One caveat for me on that would be someone like an 18 year old bug chaser. IMO they just are not old enough to know what they are getting into.

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i still think its the responsibility of yourself if u do bb, and as long as i dont lie about it. [ /QUOTE] I agree.

It's hard for me to feel sorry for some who bb at a bath house, and converts, even if they were lied to

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