Nearly, Ihave a similar story. Had a friend for 15yrs now, me having a crush on him is what started our friendship. Years later, when Itell him I'm gay and like him he decides that he can't have sex with me. This is after years of us also wrestling around and touching each other. Now he's my roomie and has random guys over all the freaking time... and yet I still feel something for him and miss the wrestling. Plus get to watch him fawn all over "dates" that he's known for like 2 days before he suddenly finds someone new... long story short it can really go sour, but Iguess (least I'm hopeful) that it can also be beautiful too. And know that your not alone in this boat