Sudden Death

[HungLatinDom]

A friend of mine died, very suddenly, over the weekend. On Thurs he was fucking, on Fri he went to the hospital, on Sat he died. I went to see him to the cemetery today.

I was told that it was a respiratory arrest, maybe caused by pneumonia. AFAIK, he was taking his meds religiously and had been in therapy for years.

Any clue what could have happened to him?

[totals]

Сondolences

How old was he?

[HungLatinDom]

38, 10 years poz

[totals]

He's young! It is very sad ((

When I learned of his HIV + I was expecting to die soon and was very afraid the long painful death. I'm HIV + since 2002, and now the thought of death occur much less frequently. And after reading these messages is frightening. We are all mortal, but hard to live "as in the last day."

Nothing good is not here, but I hope he did not suffer.

PS Sorry for my english

[toad2]

iam so sorry just cant say it enough

[NastyRigPig]

Condolences. Keep in mind, just because someone with HIV dies doesn't mean the HIV did it. There could have been undiagnosed health problems missed by his doctors that got worse as time went on. I hope that he's at peace in the afterworld, and more so, I hope his loved ones will remember the joy he brought to their lives and smile wide when thoughts of him are in their hearts.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

HungLatinDom; my condolences. Life surely can be unpredictable.

Influenza; at least the one that has a new vaccine every year, etc; is a respiratory disease. Symptoms range but of all the cases a certain percentage die from it. I have heard of cases that advance rapidly. Like NastyRigPig said above, it doesn't mean HIV had anything to do with it.

Another cause, potentially, adult onset asthma. Mine set on at 35. Up to that point I never had lung issues but at 35, was suddenly hit with asthma. The first few hours in ER there came a point when I heard the docs say 'We're losing him". Obviously that didn't occur. But it might have...

Of course, just two potential clues. One would need a lot more data medically to know for sure "what happened".

Peace

[HungLatinDom]

Thanks a lot for your words and wisdom.

That sure has made me think a lot.

But he had a quick, mostly painless death, not a long, bed-ridden agony. So, he got most than most of us are going to get in the end. He was a loved friend, one of my first friends here.

[TustinBB]

My condolences also. I suspect it was this nasty flu that has been going around. A few years back I thought my asthma or bronchitis was acting up, I had no fever and was eating well. But then it got to the point where I had to stop on each step up to my 2nd floor apartment to catch my breath and it was all I could do to lift my arms to shampoo my head. I was in the hospital for over a month and was not expected to live... that was over 15 years ago and I'm still here, going strong.

[DarkroomTaker]

HungLatinDom; Really sorry to hear that, so young.

A friend of mine died a month ago, he was 36 married and walked in from work and just literaly died in his wifes arms in the kitchen. Doctors say he had a rare heart dysfunction or something similar to that.

Live and fuck each day as if it was the last!! take care, thoughts.

[HungLatinDom]

Might have been meningitis. I doubt it was that flu strain, since we are in summer here, not as likely.

[breedme420]

You sincerely have my condolensces. My thoughts are with you.

[Guest ff-whole]

Condolences...

Live today like there is no tomorrow...

[bearbandit]

So very sorry... the grief must feel so much worse for being unexpected. At the risk of offending, I'd say that 's a mercy. To nurse someone for months leading into hopeless years when you know what's going to happen breaks you. To the living I'd say make a will and an advance directive/living will to direct your care. To the bereaved I can only offer my sympathy and the knowledge that the sharp knife stab of grief does eventually become a dull ache. Take time out to recover as best you can from the grief and don't be afraid to ask for help.

[AlwaysOpen]

Just wanted to add something to bearbandits post--- if you go and get a will and power of attorney for healthcare, do that person a HUGE favor. Sit down with them while healthy and sane, and come up with a question for him to ask you at the time he needs to make final decisions for you. I have buried a lover and a mother who both had me make a end of life care decision, and had we discussed the end better, the aftermath for me would be easier. Thats to say-- the person has had a life ending incident- stroke, cancer etc. You have been called in for making decisions for Hospice end of life care ( modified humane euthenasia) If, before you sign this person to death, you could ask them some weird question- such as "Wasn't Chubby your favorite cat??" (esp if the person wasn't a cat person, and never had a cat named Chubby) the reply of yes would give you the knowledge the person is on board with your decision, and would also allow that person to make his /her own peace with the time left, and not to expect some rally and recovery. It would be code, so if family was there no one would have to be the wiser or try to intervene. And for years afterwards, the POA for healthcare person would KNOW the decision made was indeed exactly what that person wanted