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Thinking about converting. Want REAL input, not horned up nonsense.


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The idea of getting pozzed is super hot - but the actually living with hiv isn't bad - but also sucks quite a bit too. Don't let anyone fool you about that - its expensive if nothing else - and your mileage may vary. That said, if you ::are:: going to bareback (bottom esp) regularly with different guys you will likely catch it anyway. Then I can see the perk in controlling the outcome and finding someone you really would like to get it from.

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Thanks for all the input guys. Had a full test done 2 days ago so i'll know the status by late next week if theres any change. The status of this test is going to determine what happens next. If i'm neg then i'm done with the anon bb and have some hot memories to think back on and if i'm poz then it's time to bring on the loads!!! Guess we'll wait and see.

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If you turn out neg and then find yourself taking loads again in a few weeks or months, don't beat yourself up. It's very hard to put the genii of anonymous bareback back in the bottle.

When I met my current partner, we decided to be monogamous at first and got tested several times. (Which is not to say we weren't barebacking all along; we just wanted to know our statuses). After a few years we decided to open our marriage, and neither of us could see going back to condom sex. After 5 years of being confirmed negative, I was happily taking stranger's loads again.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've been tested neg few times. Each time I promised myself I wouldn't BB anymore.

Each time I broke the promise I felt more and more horny in doing something so prohibited and dangerous.

My dark side now is even turning me into being taken pics/videos of me barebacking with strangers. Needless to say, no more promises.

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You can learn to "fly high" without the drugs, you just have to give yourself permission to do it. I totally know where you are coming from. I used to binge on bb sex then go get tested and swear off doing that again. Then I'd go without for as long as I could then binge again. Feel guilty. On and on. You have a need, urges, that you have to feed in order to be happy. Embrace it, but be realistic.

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  • 1 month later...
I understand bb sex doesn't inevitably lead to becoming poz. I've never really had sex with condoms, I find it extremely uncomfortable and therefore don't enjoy it so I've been bbing since day one. I have partied on tina and g during gangbangs before and absolutely love the even bigger whore that I become when I'm flying high.

Your enjoying the drugs...Honestly if any part of you wants to stay NEG, stop partying NOW. If you want to explore your gay side, do it. But IMO based on the other things you want in life, you would not be happy with a poz diagnosis. Try being gay and safe for a while to get a better perspective.

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  • 4 weeks later...

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