How to get over the fear? (It kept me from getting fucked last night)

[Guest Bottomboy502]

Last night I visited, for the first time, an ABS. It's a place called Theater X. Awesome place, had an awesome time. Went into the private booths and sucked some cocks through the gloryhole. I think around 5 cocks and I swallowed a couple loads too. After sucking one guy's cock, though (and he was HUGE), he wanted me to come into his booth and get fucked bare. I wanted to so bad but chickened out because I was afraid of status, even though he said he was neg. Looking back, I wish I had let him fuck me and got his load...probably would have shot a ton in my ass, and his cock was enormous and would have felt amazing. I'm going to go back to the place soon and try again to get fucked, but I need to get over this fear. I know I want to take cock. Hell, it would be amazing to go in the theater part and just take cock after cock from anyone who wanted to fuck me, because it's just a big open theater where I know guys go in to stroke and fuck.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Listen to your fear. I'm not suggesting living a life in fear is a good thing; but that voice in your head is something to listen to. Are you financially and emotionally ready to poz? Take some time to really think about it, imagine your life as a poz guy. Read some of the thread in the "what's it like to be poz" forum here . Consider what other guys have experienced; then when you can look yourself in the mirror directly in the eyes and tell yourself you are ready to be poz; go to the ABS and have a great time.

Until then; your big head is telling you something. Listen to it....

[frost85]

Listen to your fear. I'm not suggesting living a life in fear is a good thing; but that voice in your head is something to listen to. Are you financially and emotionally ready to poz? Take some time to really think about it, imagine your life as a poz guy. Read some of the thread in the "what's it like to be poz" forum here . Consider what other guys have experienced; then when you can look yourself in the mirror directly in the eyes and tell yourself you are ready to be poz; go to the ABS and have a great time.

Until then; your big head is telling you something. Listen to it....

I was reading this thread cause I've thought of the same things recently. I want to do it so bad, but can't bring myself to do it. Your post helped me a lot. You're right. You have to listen to your inner voice and go from there.

[Bttm2go]

For me taking loads in my ass was a slow process. I would say it was about a two year time period from condoms only to taking it raw to taking loads. You will know when it's right. You may never get over the fear and that's ok. You can use fantesy to get off and you have no worry about pozzing. Take your time to make sure getting poz is ok with you. And, just because you may take loads does not mean you will become poz. I have several guys I know who take raw loads--for many years--and they are still neg. i also know guys who pozzed shortly after taking loads. You need to think this out.

[PhoenixGeoff]

Honestly, getting over the fear isn't something you do. It's something that happens to you.

Before I ended up barebacking all of the time and taking random loads up my ass without worrying about the consequences, there were several years where I did actually worry about the consequences very much. And it did prevent me from barebacking.

I remember one time early on when I was drunk and hanging out in a bathhouse and a guy came in and fucked me bare and came in my ass. I fucking loved it (which I felt horribly sick and guilty about) and was terrified for the next three months while I waited to have the final confirmatory test that I hadn't been infected. After which I felt such a sense of relief at having dodged a bullet and I swore never again to let it happen. Which, as I recall, didn't last terribly long.

Then there were the times later on when I would get fucked bare and take loads without asking but afterwards, once my sexual frenzy had died down, I'd be worried enough, not to come out and ask the guy his status, but to sneak a look inside his medicine cabinet to see if he had any HIV meds there (yeah I was a bit of a coward as well as a horny bastard).

But basically my secret was this: I was a pretty huge slut. I really got turned on my anonymous sex, with or without condoms. And, as it happened, a certain percentage of the times I had sex, it would be bareback. And through simple force of repetition, the fear gradually went away and only the hotness remained. It also helped that pretty much the only way I could top was bareback.

If you're a horny bastard like I am, it'll happen sooner or later. No need to force it. Take your time...getting there is 99% of the fun. Just have lots of sex with any guy who's even remotely attractive and you'll get there.

[einathens]

take all the time you need. there's nothing wrong with fantasizing about playing bare and never actually doing it. you have nothing to prove to anyone.

[TigerMilner]

You get over your fear of HIV at some point after you get pozzed. Then you replace it with the new fears that some of us develop of getting new things like Hep C. But if you are like most of us on this site, you do not let fear run your sex life. You go for it. You take responsibility for what happens when it happens. I've used this analogy before, but fucking like we do it is like skydiving. Sure, there is a chance the parachute may not open, but the exhilaration is worth the risk. Fuck the fear. Jump.

[Barebackbottomno]

Hindsight in the form of fear is best not ignored. There will be the right time, place and person for your first bareback experience.

[Guest ff-whole]

Thanks @MascMountainMan; I am still negative but you are right... getting over the fear isn't something you do. It's something that happens to you.

and like @Bttm2Go says; I have personally taken quite some loads and so far I am lucky but the fear is still very much there.

I live on a small Island and don't get as much sex as I would like to [that helps], I like to try to be selective [maybe that helps but is probably giving a very false sense of security].

But my problem is that BBsex is just too damn intoxicating... to feel the cum oozing out of my hole is like a drug for me. I am not so strong willed, but if I were you, listen to your inner voice and stay with toys and condoms because BBsex is something almost impossible to stop and quit.

[michinnc]

I have read here and other places that once you go bareback there is no turning back because you will crave and addict it so much your frenzy just gets more intense and feeling so very wonderful.....is that true or just a hopeless fantasy?

Thanks Bunches!

[straycowboy]

I have read here and other places that once you go bareback there is no turning back because you will crave and addict it so much your frenzy just gets more intense and feeling so very wonderful.....is that true or just a hopeless fantasy?

Thanks Bunches!

Personally, I think it is a fantasy. Most people can talk themselves into believing anything. I've had a few raw loads over the years, and still prefer to top. And I will wear a condom if requested, even though I prefer bareback. But I would also guess if you have an addictive personality, it could happen. Mean trick I once played on an ex, who drank way to much all the . I switched the rum, and vodka and gin for water. He still got drunk on coke and water. The mind is a powerful influence if you believe something to be true, or possible.

[michinnc]

Personally, I think it is a fantasy. Most people can talk themselves into believing anything. I've had a few raw loads over the years, and still prefer to top. And I will wear a condom if requested, even though I prefer bareback. But I would also guess if you have an addictive personality, it could happen. Mean trick I once played on an ex, who drank way to much all the . I switched the rum, and vodka and gin for water. He still got drunk on coke and water. The mind is a powerful influence if you believe something to be true, or possible.

Ok...just kinda confused here.....you said that you think it is fantasy yet at the end of your comment...you said this:

The mind is a powerful influence if you believe something to be true, or possible

Where do our desires and cravings come from? If the mind and the idea or thought of something or even the experience of something (which would be over intense more than likely)......Turns us on....i mean really turn us on....to where we sit and watch videos...read stories....read forums while......just thinking about what it would be like to really become bonded to someone that deeply.......

is that just a fantasy or is it who and what we really are and just coming to see it is true?

Thanks Bunches!

[straycowboy]

Yes, i was confusing there. It's both. But sometimes what a person believes they want isn't what they really wanted, they just talked themselves into it. Other times, those cravings, and desires are real, and thedriving motivator behind ones actions. The line can be blurred at times. I do believe being addicted to bareback to be a case where the person talks themself into believing that is what they must have. Reading stories, and fantasizing over the type of bonding taking place, can cause that blur. Sort of like asking a christian, muslim, and buddhist why their belief is right. They typically can't disconnect themselves to examine their beliefs objectively, to say anything more than, because it is, or they just know.

If you examine your own motives, behind a desire, and figure out what makes you want that desire, then you can know if it's just something you talked yourself into believing, or truely what you need to be happy. My ex believed the only way he could have fun was to be drunk, and that those bottles had what he needed. His body knew that drinking would make him drunk, so he acted accordingly. But he had a good time without a single real drop of alcohol that night. He never could disconnect to see if what he believed he needed was in fact real, or if he had convinced himself he needed it. And he never believed any of us at the party that night when they told him nobody in fact had a real drink that night.

Knowing your own motives makes the difference. Did I make myself any clearer than mud?

[michinnc]

Yes, i was confusing there. It's both. But sometimes what a person believes they want isn't what they really wanted, they just talked themselves into it. Other times, those cravings, and desires are real, and thedriving motivator behind ones actions. The line can be blurred at times. I do believe being addicted to bareback to be a case where the person talks themself into believing that is what they must have. Reading stories, and fantasizing over the type of bonding taking place, can cause that blur. Sort of like asking a christian, muslim, and buddhist why their belief is right. They typically can't disconnect themselves to examine their beliefs objectively, to say anything more than, because it is, or they just know.

If you examine your own motives, behind a desire, and figure out what makes you want that desire, then you can know if it's just something you talked yourself into believing, or truely what you need to be happy. My ex believed the only way he could have fun was to be drunk, and that those bottles had what he needed. His body knew that drinking would make him drunk, so he acted accordingly. But he had a good time without a single real drop of alcohol that night. He never could disconnect to see if what he believed he needed was in fact real, or if he had convinced himself he needed it. And he never believed any of us at the party that night when they told him nobody in fact had a real drink that night.

Knowing your own motives makes the difference. Did I make myself any clearer than mud?

yep........pretty damn muddy lol.

Thanks Bunches!