Any tips on training a bottom to stay soft during sex?

[tallslenderguy]

my brain is connected to my penis. i've wondered before if i have ED, but no, it works just fine and can get as hard as ever.  What gets it that way can be complicated thougjh.

It  doesn't turn me on or get my penis hard if a guy is talking to me about it as a cock or if he wants it as such.  i love the look of a mans ass, it makes me wild, but not because i wanna fuck it, i just love the way it looks. Even sometimes if i am touching, rimming or chewing on a mans ass and i think i might wanna fuck it, my penis says "no" and stays soft and small. 

19 minutes ago, find91 said:

Use a chastity device and a buttplug at the same time. That way you train the hole to be open while the clit stays soft. 

Reading this got it engorged.  

Control the buttons in my mind, and you control whether or not my penis gets hard.  i was naked with a Top recently who started right off by telling me:

"since you're a total bottom, you don't really have a cock, it's really more of a clit. Since your primary sex organ is your hole, you really have a pussy and a clit." He was completely matter of fact about it. He wasn't being forceful or trying to be mean, He was talking almost casually.  It was His manner as well as what He was saying that totally pushed my buttons, and my penis got hard.  He smiled at me and said: "isn't that sweet? your body knows what I am saying is true, and your sweet little clit responded and got engorged with blood.  It can be natural for a clit to get arroused by a Man who understands it."  He turned me over and proceeded to rim me and as soon as He started, my penis went soft and small and didn't get engorged the whole time He fucked me. 

[Guest]

i may have stated this before here or in another thread on the site elsewhere, but I have no problems with  erections during the servicing of a top, my concerns and concentrations are on him and his satisfaction with using me and my recepticals for his pleasure and desires. I do however get some raging erections afterwards and sometimes occaisionaly just prior to having sex with a good top. It's my duty to service him and his needs and mine become irrelevant at that point.

[tallslenderguy]

56 minutes ago, Homo60 said:

i may have stated this before here or in another thread on the site elsewhere, but I have no problems with  erections during the servicing of a top, my concerns and concentrations are on him and his satisfaction with using me and my recepticals for his pleasure and desires. I do however get some raging erections afterwards and sometimes occaisionaly just prior to having sex with a good top. It's my duty to service him and his needs and mine become irrelevant at that point.

i read on this site that a lot of bottoms feel this way, but i don't relate to it. 

For me it's not a question of "duty' or obligation.  Which is not to suggest i think that dynamic doesn't exist, it clearly does. 

The more i consider myself and see how i am, it's more a matter of opposites attracting to me. i often look at it from a physics perspective of negative and positively charged ions attracting and bonding naturally. i do relish the mental and emotional aspects of the sexual relationship, it's what distinguishes people from ions lol. To me though,  there is the underlying drive of Top being attracted to bottom, each needing the other. There cannot be one without the other.  To me, the wonder of it is, that each finds their needs /desires met (to one degree or another) in the others needs/desires.