School Spirit

[bugchaser93]

Guys, please be nice. This is my first story ever. Hope you like it.

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It was the the beginning of summer work out sessions in my senior year when I met him - a 5"7 hick buff stud. He was my new high school coach he was quite tan, looked to be 28, dark hair, thick buff arms, and abs to die for. They where so sculpted that I just wanted to lick them.

We were well into our first work out when I saw it - he had his hands in his shorts. I didn't know at the time, but would soon find out why he worked out with us. After a hour he stripped-off his shirt and (not surprisingly) was sweating profusely. I was playing defiance and he was grading me when his sweaty, man-musk body hit me and he stood there, smiled and winked at me, and grabbed my crotch saying "If you stay late, I'll show you a few more moves."

I was quite nervous, but when practice was over I stayed behind to see what he had in mind. He told me to enter his office where I found my friend Quentin, a hot jock with a nine inch uncut fat dick, about which I knew because he slapped my ass with it once when we were in the shower. Anyhow, the coach told me to strip and lay on my back on his seat. I was shaking so bad, but he was just so hot I did as he instructed. The coach went on to say he had met Quentin a month earlier, and had 'used him good', that he wanted to do the same to me, adding he had told Quentin to prep me. I didn't know what he meant but I soon would learn.

The coach opened a desk drawer, pulled-out a old toothbrush, and with out warning, buried it in my hole. As I screamed he scrubbed what seemed to be hour. When he pulled it out I saw it was blood red - and, of course, my ass was on fire. Then the coach told me to breath and Quentin plowed his dick balls-deep into me, saying he was about to knock me up. I had no idea what he meant, but I knew I wanted it. He plowed me so hard I lost my breath. I was in heat, and this was my first time ever to have a cock in my ass, and I loved the experience. Quentin said me he was about to cum and seed me. All I could do was groan in pleasure as he blew his wad into me and promptly withdrew his cock from my hole. The coach kissed us and slid his own cock, which was an amazing twelve inches. I was scared as hell, but he told me to hold on, that this would hurt. Man, was he right! I screamed in pain as he worked my hole for over a hour. Then he grunted "Get ready, I'm gonna blow my dirty death cum into you, boy!"

Once done, the coach withdrew his cock, and as he inserted a butt plug into my hole, he murmured "You're my boy" and told me to get dressed, and to keep the butt plug in my ass until practice the next night.

I did as directed, even though it was quite painful. Of course there was no chance I would skip practice the next night, and upon arriving at the gym, the coach took me into his office, and told me he had met Quentin at a gay bar and had fucked him hard for a month before he came down with the fuck flu, adding that he (and now Quentin) were poz, and that I would be soon.

I was scared shitless as I thought of my future, but also I grew hard. To this day I don't know why, but I asked my new daddy "Will you fuck me again?" He took me up on my invitation, and pounded me all year. Before long, like him, I was poz.

Edited June 18, 2013 by Hotload84

[drscorpio]

Guys pleas be nice this is my first story ever hope u like

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This story is super hot! I have not one gripe with your content.

But there are some things you could do to make it easier to read. (I hope you were asking for constructive criticism; feel free to ignore me if you aren't).

Check your spelling. It's pulls you out of the hot action when you have to think "what? Did he mean that word? Oh wait, he meant this other word. Now it makes sense." There were a couple of places that I just couldn't figure out what you meant. Not using texting abbreviations like "ur" will help, too.

Upper case letters at the beginning of sentences and periods at the end help your writing make sense to the reader, too. Also names should always be capitalized.

Hit the RETURN key every few sentences when your action shifts to a new time or place or activity. That makes it much easier to keep your place when you are reading a large block of text. It's best to put these breaks where a real paragraph ends and begins. The first place I would have put one is between "I didn't know what to do." and "As soon as practice was over, ..."

[bugchaser93]

Lol thanks glad u like I was in a hurry on my luch so I didn't do my best I will next time babe

[sagymrat]

awesome story from a smoking hot stud of an author

[Hotload84]

Hi, Bugchaser93. Drscorpio's comments are on-target. As you can see, I've made the edits he recommended - and some.

[breedme420]

Awesome story!

[wroxguy]

Really hot story guy. Well done and I hope you write some more....

Thanks

[dcchaser]

Hot ass story. Well done. Dick rock hard. :-)

[bugchaser93]

Thanks guys

[bend4it]

Hi Bugchaser. This version is much easier to read and has made the story far more enjoyable.

Its easy for us to make comments on another authors work, but often in doing so we do not have all the facts as to why the story caused these comments to be made.

Now we know, you were rushed for time and wanted to post quick.

For your first attempt it was good and I was harder than the first time I read it.

LOL LOL

Hit the save button and when you get the chance reread and when happy, Post.

Hope our comments have not put you off, you have a real talent.

Hope to read more from you soon

Edited June 19, 2013 by bend4it