Stupid Profile Statements

[bearbandit]

JizzdumpWI: Positively maidenly!

[Guest slobbvers]

How about, "I really don't know what to write." Then you don't know whether you want to fuck, get fucked, suck or get sucked.

[Guest SBBOY]

I hate guys who post "No one of the age of 22 years" or similar when they're nearing that age or even much older themselves. One day someone will say that to them but they'll have forgotten I'm sure that they used to say it

I say things like "I usually prefer guys...."

I'm really not hung up on age

[Bottom Jim]

I never understand only guys like'22-24 why all guys have dicks all guys cum I want their dick and cum. Age and race never a hang up

[GermanFucker]

I truly believe that everyone has the right to look for sex according to his own preferences. Even if that means that most of the dating pool doesn't match these criteria. If someone is just looking for a certain thing and is willing to forgo having much more sex with a wider variety of guys, who am I to judge. I reserve the right not to have sex with someone, so I really can't expect others to have bareback sex with me if they are into different things.

The only thing is: one doesn't have to be a douche about it. There are always two ways of saying the same thing.

OK: "Neg bottom looking for neg tops to have bareback sex with" - is a factual statement of preference, even if one thinks it's naive, it deserves to be respected.

Stupid: "Be clean" - Manages to be both confusing and insulting at the same time.

OK: "Sexually not attracted to XXXX" - not the nicest thing to say, but sometimes necessary. Sometimes a guy always attracts a certain type of suitor, and if the interest isn't mutual, its better to be upfront. I also know Asian bottoms that have to defend themselves against "pervy old white men" spamming their inboxes.

Douchy: "No Asians" (categorically), "Blacks not welcome", or even more surreal "I don't like Israel's politics, so I won't have sex with jews"... seriously, WTF?

OK: "Gym rat looking for other muscular guys" - If that pisses one of more that "bear looking for other bears and otters", it says more about one's own insecurities than the guy who wrote the profile. Why should one scene be worse than the other?

Shallow and mean: "No fatties" - As if that was all that is to another person.

OK: "Just checking things out", "not looking for sex right now" etc. - Not everyone has the experience, time or sex drive to manage ten hookups per week and it's ok to say so. As RawTop said: Also gives others a chance to move on.

Just pointless: Misrepresenting oneself - Pretending to be aloof when you're constantly looking for dick. Or saying you're up for fun when in reality you rarely show up and just jack off to online conversations.

OK: "Especially into Latino types", "age 22-25 preferred", "more into tall dudes" - Precise statement of preference without being denigrating

Nonsensical: "Be hot" - as if there were an objective standard, just like MMM said, it doesn't mean anything because it's all in the eye of the beholder.

[xxww]

Don't know if this was said but this one is funny to me - " Safe sex only won't bareback so don't ask! " then ad " tested neg as of ( whatever date ) " well if you are only safe wtf are you testing for?

[blacknight]

Can some explain to me to me why guys don't just post what they do like and are looking for.

8. "not into _____ [insert ethnicity here]" Ugh, why post this? Just makes you sound like a racist butthole.

[rtpbbcub]

LOL! I had a great time reading through these, and certainly enjoyed knowing that I'm not the only one who reads a post with these things and thinks"NEXT!"

One of my biggest pet peeves when I'm in total bottom mode are posts in which guys are apologetic, or obviously defensive, about their age, looks, etc.

Those "I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but . . ." posts.

I know I have made that mistake in the past, and certainly won't again, so whatever it is you feel the need to apologize for, don't.

Another one, in the same vein, is being contacted by someone who pretty much starts their message with an apology. Whether they are apologizing for being older, poz, or whatever, they hit the ground failing. Or they do it three emails later, "I hope you don't mind that I am . . ." whatever. Well not until you got all "will you be my therapist" about it. Now I mind. Not because you are whatever, but because I want to get fucked, not spend the night reassuring you that you are still sexy despite your obvious insecurity in yourself.

[bbinbpark]

'I'm much younger looking than I am" or "I always am told my pictures don't do me justice"

yeah, so what. Don't tell me you're younger looking than you actually are. What you really look like matters to me not the perception you want me to have of you.

[CumDrunkATL]

... "I always am told my pictures don't do me justice"

yeah, so what.

What to do then if the "told I look better in person" disclaimer applies? Twice in the past month +/- I've had a message from a guy who wouldn't respond before. So I asked. And that's the answer I got from both-- someone who'd met me told them I look a lot better than my pics suggest.

(I don't have that line on my profile... a guy who's not into your pics isn't going to jump at ya just because of the disclaimer, right?)

It is frustrating though.

[Bottom Jim]

Leave me add looking for later. How much later? Next week,month,year? I assume if you post it is for now

[Guest slobbvers]

Here's one I've seen on Adam and Craigslist. "Let's meet for a drink and see where it goes." I feel like saying, "My drink goes into my mouth. I swallow it. Hit's my stomach. The alcohol is absorbed into my system. Raising my alcohol level from it's dangerous level. Then I piss the remainder out and it winds up at the sewage treatment plant." Just because.

[nyfreak]

Haha I remember one profile on a4a said "I'm only looking for friends" yet all his pictures were dick pics.

[Googy]

Lol.....until my BF told me what it really meant I always thought that "clean" meant "I have douched" Doh

[bearbandit]

I play stupid if asked that and say "yes I had a bath this morning, but it's a hot day so I might be getting a bit sweaty"... then I let them know how offensive "clean"=HIV- is...