What makes guys....

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

All week I had been corresponding with this fairly cute cub. Even throughout the day he would write to tell me how much he wanted to fuck me; and then a no show (which arguably IS fucking me; but not as I had anticipated). What makes guys do that? Even a last minute issue deserves a call or a txt message.

[bearbandit]

I know just what you mean: the other day I had text after text of "Please fuck me Daddy" from a poz guy in his twenties. Only lived a couple of miles away and as a gym instructor (he claimed) the mountain wouldn't prove any problem on his pushbike. As per my agreement with the village shop he had that as a location to head for (the idea being that at least one person knows he's in the village) where he'd ask directions to my house (visible from the shop) even though he had the number of my house.

When he was an hour late I texted to ask where he was as the street layout in the village can be a little confusing. What I got back was "I had a better offer. Actually I'm sort of in the middle of shagging now". While his reply to my concern was incredibly rude, what sort of man answers a text in the middle of fucking anyway? I was generous, giving him overnight to text an apology. Nothing.

By contrast, there's the guy I saw twice at my place, just chat both times. He's mid forties, ten years poz. During the second visit we decided that sex wasn't going to work and carried on with an air of "thank fuck that's out of the way". This was months ago and we still chat online several times a week...

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

*nods*

It just is... Some seem to follow an personal imperative where they are utter jerks, whether knowingly or through blissful ignorance. Taking a different tac; the asshole lost his very good chance. His loss...

[AlwaysOpen]

Oh, for the good old days of the bar pick ups-- when you could actually see the person you were trying to fuck, feel them, hear them, and more importantly-- walk out of the bar with them either in tow or not-- no hanging on the wire hoping and waiting. And no rude surprises-- like the gym instructor persona online who shows up bigger than a rhino and sporting a micro penis.

I think gay men need to revert back to the more personal way of fucking-- and support the bars that were our civic cores for so many years!! Maybe we could initiate a worldwide trend and make Wednesday nights out at the local gay/fetish/leather bar a Breeding night out....if bar owners start to see an uptick on cash take from us, perhaps they will begin doing specials- and bring in more guys with that too- deepening the pool for hooking up

[not_sure_bb]

the more talk the less likely of getting fucked experience

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Oh, for the good old days of the bar pick ups-- when you could actually see the person you were trying to fuck, feel them, hear them, and more importantly-- walk out of the bar with them either in tow or not-- no hanging on the wire hoping and waiting. And no rude surprises-- like the gym instructor persona online who shows up bigger than a rhino and sporting a micro penis.

I think gay men need to revert back to the more personal way of fucking-- and support the bars that were our civic cores for so many years!! Maybe we could initiate a worldwide trend and make Wednesday nights out at the local gay/fetish/leather bar a Breeding night out....if bar owners start to see an uptick on cash take from us, perhaps they will begin doing specials- and bring in more guys with that too- deepening the pool for hooking up

AlwaysOpen... I think you are onto something... A concept like "no net Wednesday" or "anticyber Thursday" (possibly resurrecting the 'queers day' idea). Combine it with some frank STI education (no preaching... just the facts sir) that some of us were talking about in another thread here... Get the support your local gay bar idea going - great thinking AlwaysO! Thanks.

[TheBreeder]

the more talk the less likely of getting fucked experience

This.

It's easy for guys to be brave when they're hiding behind a computer screen. The moment I suspect that someone's chatting me up and making all kinds of promises they don't intend to keep, just for the purpose of titillating themselves, I'll ask him to make a firm commitment to prove he's not just wasting my time. If he can't or won't, I'll tell him to get back to me when he's serious, and ignore him until then.

I've got a good instinct for weeding out the bullshitters, and there are a lot of them. Even on this site. Every time, the more they talk, and the closer the chat gets to cyber-sex than conversation, the less likely they are to act on it.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

*nods*

Good queue that thinking back I missed. I "read" it as excitement of play to come. But indeed the guys in question was no doubt just whackin off. Note to self on when to terminate the concersation.

[Bottom Jim]

I believe there are guys who get off thinking about fucking a guy. They never really want to go through with it. When I find a guy who uses more than four emails back and forth ,he will always be a no show

[evilqueerpig]

Flakes are a fact of life....best to move on.

[fuckboy20]

I've had a guy or two flake on me before. It's pretty rare one guy kept texting me and even called me saying he wanted to get together and fuck me. I waited about 20-30 minutes texted back and heard nothing. I don't remember if I went home that night or got fucked by someone else.

 

It could just be habit too and the people might not even be realizing their doing it. If it's habit, habits can be hard to break. I learned and was taught when I was younger not to get a man revved up and decide (nevermind) at the last minute. I got taken by a man or two like that when I was younger. In person btw, not online.

 

I'll admit that right now because of health and other reasons I don't feel as much the need or desire to hook up. But I at least put something like that on my profile and to the best of my abilities let people know who message me "Kind of out of it right now" or "Not really feeling sex lately" so yeah, it's probably a turn down in their book (and there have been some cute ones) but at least it lets them move on and find someone else.

 

The bars can and still are probably one of the better places to hook up, cruise, and flirt but there are factors about the bars that can make them just as flaky or frustrating as online.