Disappearing Conversation

[bbinbpark]

So I'm chatting with a guy on Manhunt, think we're going to meet up and I get the "Let me know when we can meet" message from him. We've been chatting for a few minutes, when I went to check the message, he'd already signed off. Not much time between the message alert and me checking.

Question I have is why do guys do this? I find it to be one of the more fucking annoying things that gay men do when trying to hook up on the sites. Notice it on Grindr, Adam etc. Someone says lets get together in one message, then disappears for 6 hours. Hard to take guys like that serious.

[bearbandit]

So don't take them seriously. For some guys all they need is a bit of a flirt online. Others really want to meet but get frightened at the last minute. I learned quite some time ago not to take the viagra (I have diabetes and its attendant problems and we're only "allowed" four shags a month) until he's crossed the threshold into my house.

Basically, some guys are assholes. If you lived near me I could give you a list ;-)

[nlsfn]

Had that happen to me too a few weeks back. Finally had a day that I could hook up and play and was messaging with this guy who "seemed" like he wanted to play. Told me he wanted me to come over and let him top me. Then bam.. same thing, just dropped off!

[bearbandit]

The other consideration is that he's not come to terms with being gay (personally I prefer faggot or queer - reclaiming language and all that shit) and he gets off on getting you hot'n'bothered and that's as far as he can go. Or he's just extremely shallow.

[Bear4Breeding]

That sort of thing happens to me all the time. Sometimes there is more sexual talk involved as in what you want to do to me kind of stuff. And then they are gone for days at a time. Personally I think a lot of them use the chat for wank material and once the blow they are gone. But that is just MO.

[hungry4more]

Worst is when they give you their number and address but don't tell you which apartment # but then don't respond when you show up... happened to me twice before I learned my lesson to get full address before leaving home.

[bbzh]

It could be that the guy in question found someone else he'd rather meet. I think a whole host of variables come into play to be honest. How horny is the guy? Is there someone else close by who is willing to visit him? Did a regular fuck buddy become available? How much time does he have before he has to go to work, to bed or before the bf/wife gets home?

I'm pretty stern with guys. No picture, no address (which I google) and not willing to exchange text messages? Then, we are not fucking. I made one exception recently with this new guy in my neighborhood. He would not text me because he doesn't want his bf to know he's fucking around. I was glad I was flexible in that case. :-)

One other point: I am not constantly using my cell phone so it would be rather hard for me to hook up with someone on grindr etc. I literally forget about those apps for days at a time. And I am not willing to leave them running in the background because they kill my battery.

Edited January 5, 2014 by bbzh

[Guest TravelGuy4Bareback]

Hate guys who do that shit. I had one yesterday asking me to come let him and his poz bf fuck me. I'm all game and go to respond to him and he had blocked me. Blocked me! WTF?

And the guys who start talking to you and then just stop. No replies. Yet they are still online. Don't understand some people at times.

[bbinbpark]

Seems like a lot of effort that some guys put out just to play games. That's what doesn't make sense.

The one that made me post this said he wanted to get together after his workout and then signed off. I don't think this was a case of him being closeted, face pics on manhunt open etc.

[mjapie1]

I agree with all of these comments. The amount of men in London on hook up sites that have a "last minute emergency" once they have arranged a date that prevents them from cancelling or engaging in any further communication is truly astounding!

Some of my mates who have been around since before the internet often say that it was much better before all the the so called easy hook up sites when guys had no option to go to bars or clubs or parks etc. to meet someone.

J

[slowfuck]

I agree with all of these comments. The amount of men in London on hook up sites that have a "last minute emergency" once they have arranged a date that prevents them from cancelling or engaging in any further communication is truly astounding! Some of my mates who have been around since before the internet often say that it was much better before all the the so called easy hook up sites when guys had no option to go to bars or clubs or parks etc. to meet someone. J

Agreed. I was on the scene before the internet and am beginning to think I should just go back to bars and chat to guys in person. I'd have more success I feel.

I had a request from a guy I'd swapped messages with who said could I go over. I prepared, took levitra, got the address, set off, messaged him when I was near and he said not to come now, as he'd cum already and needed to go out... :-/

[barefootbob]

Hate guys who do that shit. I had one yesterday asking me to come let him and his poz bf fuck me. I'm all game and go to respond to him and he had blocked me. Blocked me! WTF?

And the guys who start talking to you and then just stop. No replies. Yet they are still online. Don't understand some people at times.

That's the shit that really pisses me off : over several days/weeks you send messages back and forth, text messages then you chat on the phone then he drops off the end of the world. No replies, no returned calls. ZIP. WTF?? Then you see him on line and get no response.

[BestCatcher]

Guys that suddenly disappear or ignore are most often just flakes because they're simply not what they represent themselves to be in their profile. They're either older or heavier or have a smaller dick (imagine a man misrepresenting the size of his dick!) or otherwise substantially different than their profile says. Like their pictures are of someone else. They therefore are fearful of the rejection or embarrassment from your reaction to their reality if you were to actually hook up. Also, some of these flakes may actually be who they say they are yet simply aren't really ready for the sex scene they say they are. Because the Internet allows for a great amount of anonymity, guys like this can "play" their fantasies (a la Carlos Danger) and---because of the reasons above---never have to act on them. Sort of carnal interaction by proxy. For these guys, the mind fuck is either enough to get them off or too much to handle. The logic of this is twisted, for sure, yet very simple. The reality is that many guys on the Internet aren't ready for prime time, as it were. We just gotta filter through, pass on the flakes and find that man/those guys that are ready for our prime time. NEXT!!!

[chargedodger]

Hey,cut them a bit of slack on this.They may not be ready to meet and do the big nasty regardless of what they may say in an online chat message.BUT...the IDEA of it is in their head or they would not be cruising gay chat sites.Patience and perseverance wins the hunt.Have been on BOTH sides of this behavour,so to some I appologize and others I say I understand.I am a friend,and as you explore your sexual options I am here for you as you need.Older guys rule.

[pozpig]

Hungry4more, I've been fortunate to not have that happen, but a bit of advice is while you're exchanging messages and it looks like the hookup is certain to happen, hit google maps, or mapquest. This way you can see if it's a house, apartment, etc. It's also nice to have a visual for what your looking for, especially if it's a night time hookup.