Accepted my "role", want to donate myself to the site and the POZ cause.

[boybubblebutt69]

My name is Ron and I am a 27 year old petite fem bottom twink boy from the southtowns of Buffalo NY. I have seen a lot of poz/charging parties around my area, been a closeted member of the gay community for about 10 years, have reviewed this website many times and carefully came to some damning conclusions.

I have accepted that I should have been born a woman. I have accepted that I am a total bottom. I have accepted that my role in life is not to get married and have children, but to submit and provide my body to as many MEN (key word) as possible and take their loads. I have accepted that HIV is an elemental part of the gay community and with my designated role in such community, it is only a matter of time before I submit to a charged load.

I have had enough of the charade. I do not like playing games. And as such, I would like to donate myself to the site as a neg body. I feel that this is a good opportunity for the site to document a "pozzing" from concept to realization. I feel it could be a great opportunity and a powerful resource to raise awareness and acceptance for the community. Think: True Life series from MTV... "True Life: I'm Getting Pozzed". If the site, or even someone in the Buffalo NY area wants to document my transformation from NEG to POZ, respond here or by private message. Ar minimum, attending a POZ party or a 1 on 1 charged loadsession would further the cause. It's time for this NEG ass to accept reality. As another user on this site said:

"I think you already know that you're going to be taking it raw eventually, or you wouldn't be on this site. Time to get some poz loads up your ass so yo'u can free yourself to become the cumpig you were meant to be. The sooner you do it, the sooner you can start being true to your nature!"

[rawTOP]

Then you don't understand this site at all. Most people here will tell you to get yourself on PrEP and stay neg. There is no need for you to be poz. HIV is not an essential part of being gay. Stay neg.

[bearbandit]

I couldn't agree with rawTOP any more: most of us here want to prevent the spread of HIV and other STIs while enjoying natural sex. You want to help the "POZ cause" - go get yourself on PrEP, take your daily truvada and be meticulous about it, as well as attending your followup appointments every three months. We're beginning to see differences in how truvada is metabolised by HIV- and HIV+ men. Why? Your experiences with PrEP could form part of the jigsaw of the answer. (Vested interest here; I'm a long term survivor and one of the components of truvada nearly killed me eighteen months ago: I still haven't made a full recovery).

If you're really so care-free about getting pozzed, at least do it in a manner that will help the guys who want to stay neg stay that way.

[boybubblebutt69]

I understand and respect your opinions. However... "Then you don't understand this site at all. Most people here will tell you to get yourself on PrEP and stay neg." - Not according to threads I have been reading. If this site is about staying neg, why are there a multitude of users and threads discussing poz parties, the philosophy on becoming pozzed and openly encouraging it, not to mention several threads discussing outright enjoying living poz? One of these things is not like the otherrrr....

[4realz]

As one of the members here who would suggest that there are options for you to stay neg and that could be preferable for numerous reasons... I simply haven't felt moved to post my perspective on the threads you mention. Also, PrEP is very new and is still diffusing into the culture. It's definitely the newest "so yo'u can free yourself to become the cumpig you were meant to be" mind frame.

My take... the difference between being neg on truvada and poz on truvada is... the neg guy has a choice to stop taking PrEP if he needs to, without risking his health.

[MexPigMaster]

Email me at sevave@yahoo.com I'm in Brooklyn NY. Master

[hungry_hole]

I get the impression that many of the bug chasers in this site are quite vocal about their fetish and that gives the impression that most site members are bug chasers. I think that the common theme amongst members is not bug chasing but barebacking and breeding or getting bred, sloppy holes, etc.

[wood]

I understand and respect your opinions. However... "Then you don't understand this site at all. Most people here will tell you to get yourself on PrEP and stay neg." - Not according to threads I have been reading. If this site is about staying neg, why are there a multitude of users and threads discussing poz parties, the philosophy on becoming pozzed and openly encouraging it, not to mention several threads discussing outright enjoying living poz? One of these things is not like the otherrrr....

You dont understand the difference between reality and fantasy. A LOT of what is said, especially in the "gift giving" forums is pure fiction. Honestly you seem pretty naive. Being poz isnt fun at all. its still a lifelong illness. PrEP is a great way to stay neg, and still have condomless sex.

[boybubblebutt69]

"You dont understand the difference between reality and fantasy. A LOT of what is said, especially in the "gift giving" forums is pure fiction."

Then shouldn't there be a clearly posted disclaimer on those threads or even designate sections of the forums specifically for fantasy, fetish and fiction? Honestly, you're pretty condescending. Entire threads jam packed with users talking about how it was the best decision they ever made, and I'm naive? Right.

[mike_thieriot]

Agree with you totally @boybubblebutt69. Clearly its not just a fantasy for at least some people on here.

What unfortunately is just a fantasy, though, is me getting anywhere near that ridiculously amazing ass of yours, hun

[wood]

"You dont understand the difference between reality and fantasy. A LOT of what is said, especially in the "gift giving" forums is pure fiction."

Then shouldn't there be a clearly posted disclaimer on those threads or even designate sections of the forums specifically for fantasy, fetish and fiction? Honestly, you're pretty condescending. Entire threads jam packed with users talking about how it was the best decision they ever made, and I'm naive? Right.

as always if I come off as condescending I do apologize, but public health is something I'm passionate about. I know what too many people that think HIV is no big deal until they actually deal with all the side effects they never think will matter. That's when the "fantasy" becomes reality that isnt nearly as fun.

Additionally if what I am saying is making you or anyone else uncomfortable or anything else, that might be because I am giving you some information that may go against what you wish. Also you are not naive for reading that, and getting the information you wish. You are naive because reading certain sections on this site about whats its like to be poz is like reading fox news to see why obama is the devil, you will just get what you want. Read the ENTIRE site, then read other site about what HIV means. http://www.thebody.org is a great HIV resource site.

You can go in the gift giving, etc forum all day and people will congratulate you on being poz, say its so hot, share it, etc, but really where are those people gonna be when you meet a neg guy who really loves you, and you love them, where are they gonna be if you actually become sick because of the "gift" you choose to get.

If you think im condemning condomless sex, im not. With PrEP, there is NO reason to become poz.

Also for the "disclaimer" aspect there is one now. You actively have to opt in to those forums now, Whereas a couple months prior you didnt. There is disclaimers all over this site. For that exact reason, one day you blame someone else for the fantasy you decided to live out. Hell even the creator of this site is all for PrEP, and saying close to the same thing I am now. Why become poz if you dont have to, and what benefit would I get by becoming HIV+ If anyone can give me a good logical answer to that question I will leave and never return. I also strongly implore you to actively ask yourself that same question.

Edited January 10, 2014 by wood

[Rayne]

I have the fantasy of bug chasing, and given certain circumstances I would actually do it. Does that mean I would actually want to catch it? No. Does that mean I want a lifetime of illness? No. It means I am willing to take a risk for pleasure, even though I know the risk could lead to something detrimental.

I ride a motorcycle, a lot of the time with just a helmet and gloves to protect me, and no other protective gear. I speed, filter traffic at over 90mph... in Phoenix AZ, and I risk breaking laws in front of cops almost on a daily basis. Does it mean I wish myself harm, or that I want a ticket? No. I just enjoy taking risks; I enjoy the rush. I'm also willing to accept the consequences for WHEN I do crash. I'm not playing the if game; i know it's a matter of when.

Staying neg when you can is a smart idea. Consider PrEP as the equivalent to me riding with just my helmet; you get the fun and risk with enough protection to prevent the worst from happening this way, and you can take risks knowing that you have some form of protection. My helmet helps protect my brain, PrEP helps protect you from HIV. I always ride with my helmet on, mate. My helmet will protect me from the worst case, death. I'll be able to live with mangled limbs if/when I manage those from a crash, but I will have more problems coping with the head trauma from not wearing a helmet. Do the smarter thing, protect the important stuff; smartest is technically to never a risk lol. It's easier to live with bugs that go away with pills or a shot, but not so much when you have to live with one mistake for the rest of your life.

I'm just offering words of advice, mostly because I may look like one of those that "promotes" those who have/chase bugs. Do what makes you happy, but be sure it will actually make you happy. If you do become poz, then we're going to support you, naturally! But, supporting the conversion is mostly just a hot idea for stories. Every risk has a reward, but the best rewards usually have the biggest risks. Take your pick wisely.

[Bear4Breeding]

I'm with the rest of the group here. Go On PrEP if you can get it, it isn't fun being HIV+. I can tell you when I filled my first antiviral perscription I almost hit the floor when I saw the Retail Cost of it. A 30 day supply of it was over 2 grand. Luckily I have insurance and only paid 75.00 for it. BUT this is something people don't think about.

I have to pay that for the rest of my life now every time I get my meds. If PrEP had been an option for me 4 years ago I would have done it for sure.

There is NO Reason to be poz these days, it can be avoided now. So take the PrEP and stay neg, but still enjoy the condomless sex.