changing attitudes?

[Guest virgoz]

What is it with teenagers these days? Safe sex isnt even on their radar. Seems like barebacking is the only way to go.

When I was younger, everyone was a condom nazi! Complete opposite now. Im almost shedding a tear......

[rawTOP]

May be true, but then why aren't more teens on sites like BBRT?

[rawTOP]

Just did a few searches on A4A:

For 18 & 19 year olds in NYC:

"Anything Goes": 208

"Safe Sex Only": 1200+

"No Answer": 833

So if most teens bareback, why don't they identify as barebackers?

[Guest virgoz]

It maybe because they are all so socially networked these days that they have less of a need for sites like bbrt, compared to us older guys.

[Ginkgink]

I find that it's just not spoken about. I've spoken to 17 guys the past week, 6 of them are under 20 and none of them spoke about protection.

The general attitude seems to be; "Fuck it."

They don't shout out the fact they bareback, they just go ahead and do whatever.

[bb1991]

3 words - LACK OF EDUCATION.

Safe sex isn't on young people's radar because they have no idea of the risks.

Its the same reason why they aren't on BBRT - its not a fetish and they don't identify as barebackers.

[seaguy]

They don't go around advertising the fact because if they fear the repurcusions from their peers in school, etc. most likely. With all the social apps teens use it would be just like what happened to that guy in FL who did some Sean Cody scenes. Someone at his school found out and then he was outted and the snitch is still unknown.

[hungry_hole]

So if most teens bareback, why don't they identify as barebackers?

Young people are too concerned about their reputation and how other people view them. I would have never been able to do sexual stuff that I do now when I was younger. Saunas is the same thing, and most guys who go to saunas are in their 40's and older. Very few guys in their 20's frequent these places and when they do they are mobbed by the older crowd.

[btm2bbred]

I think seaguy is right. Social media puts it all out there. Facebook, Twitter, etc. document every facet of their lives.

Teens today find it harder to be on the DL since they are glued to their i-phones, etc.

BBRT, Grindr, etc. probably seem like old media.

[rawTOP]

So if most teens say "Safe Sex Only" do they see barebacking as safe sex? Why do they put Safe Sex Only?

I've also had twinks be OK with barebacking, but then want me to pull out, then get all pissy when I don't. (I'm crystal clear up front in my profile that I don't pull out). Of course a couple months later that twink had basically turned into a cumdump.

[GreenChaser]

So if most teens say "Safe Sex Only" do they see barebacking as safe sex? Why do they put Safe Sex Only?

I've also had twinks be OK with barebacking, but then want me to pull out, then get all pissy when I don't. (I'm crystal clear up front in my profile that I don't pull out). Of course a couple months later that twink had basically turned into a cumdump.

The reason behind this is: when realizing that telling us that we needed to use condoms wasn't working, the focus was put on the load itself instead of the fuck, so now teens are told that they should use condoms to avoid getting pregnant and diseases, but if you should find yourself having raw sex then you should make sure the load is not shot in the body for the best chances of avoidance.... Every time i have gone to get the hiv test the counselor always sits me down for a chat while awaiting the quick test result. they ask the usual questions and i tell them upfront that i am a bi bb vers top and that will not change, and they usually resolve the issue that by telling me that by pulling out and having my partners do the same i will better increase chances of safety- and i then look 'em in the eye and say: "to be frank; if my cock goes in- it will finish inside, and if i have a cock in my body i would be robbed if it didn't unload in me." once i was being tested by a cute guy i could tell was new to the job and as gay as a handbasket. the buzzer went off almost right after i said this like it was had been planned- neg. he dropped his pants and i fucked him right there on the desk.

[rtpbbcub]

Its not lack of education, it is crap education. Safe sex is, in a nutshell, the worst way for anyone to be introduced to sex, sexuality, and intimacy. Most of it is built on a slut shaming, condoms or else, true love waits mentality that, effectively, says "do as we say, or else."

That creates a series of problems, especially when it comes to teens.

1.) It creates a taboo.

2.) It makes safe sex an "all or nothing" issue. Either you use a condom every time, or . . .? Or becomes "don't bother using them at all." Many people are at a loss in the safe sex mindset with what to done once they cross the line into "even once."

3.) It focuses on creating a condom fetish instead of discussing risk, choices, personal responsibility for sex and sexual health, and harm reduction.

[Rayne]

So if most teens say "Safe Sex Only" do they see barebacking as safe sex? Why do they put Safe Sex Only?

I've also had twinks be OK with barebacking, but then want me to pull out, then get all pissy when I don't. (I'm crystal clear up front in my profile that I don't pull out). Of course a couple months later that twink had basically turned into a cumdump.

Forgive the length of this post, but I feel all of it needs to be said. This is all based on my personal experience, so some of you may heavily disagree; but, I'm trying to analyse my experiences for others to understand the psychology behind it. Mind you, this is coming from a person who left his teens not too long ago, so take what you like from it...

I'd say that my experience with those who are "Safe Sex Only" (and not just on the internet) do it for the label. In all honesty, it seems that kids/teens are more concerned about their image, being labelled, than what they actually do. The only people who don't give a fuck about being labelled are those who were socially outcast from the beginning (like myself), and we are the ones who usually told condom users to piss off. I've used condoms with maybe two(?) partners since I first had sex at age 17 (will be 23 in April), and I honestly have lost count of how many partners I've had. While I've mostly fucked women, I usually fucked the ones who slept around a LOT, admitted it, and none of them used condoms with anybody. As far as the men, I've never used a condom with them. Also, I've slept with people ages 16 to 50's, so that doesn't imply I am some Casanova with younger guys and girls lol. I'm getting a little off track, but it's fairly relevant to making my point.

The point is this: from my experience with those who are younger, being a "safe sex" person usually means they fuck with condoms the first time, and then take them off when they believe you're clean, or they will fuck anybody who claims they are clean. Being known as a "risky" sex partner is like being labelled a slut, or even worse, and kids don't necessarily seem to give a damn about the actual risk/education as much as they care bout the label/name they may earn with their peers. Being accepted is much more heavily stressed in schools these days than many adults realise, and talking to my younger relatives proved this to me; not to mention, studying the social interactions of my younger relatives, including my own behaviour as a child, has proven that the younger generations simply have lost touch with their self identity. When I was in my teens, all I really cared about was being accepted by a group of people; it didn't have to be the big crowd, just somewhere for me to fit... and that is the issue. Because societal norms revolve around our human psyche's desire to be a part of something, we end up caring less about ourselves and more about fitting in. With the older people I've slept with (both men and women), it seems that they are much more impulsive around the the pleasure, and do not care so much about being labelled. The fact that most of the people I slept with over the age of 30 almost never said a thing about condoms, but simply asked if I was clean (if they even bothered to ask), shows me that the primal urges are probably more so apparent in the older generations. Whenever I've brought up condoms to younger people, there was always a form of hesitation. Whenever I brought condoms up to older people, I had much more interesting results; either they didn't really show much care about them, or they quickly gave me the "condom or no sex" option. Obviously, from my history, when given the latter option, I chose no sex over condoms... unless I knew it was going to come off quickly.

As far as the sex education for our younger ones is concerned: atrocious at best. We barely educate children on practising safe sex, let alone the actual risks of unprotected sex (both with meds and condoms). Because society, as a whole, has convinced parents that teens are too susceptible to being misinformed, we dance around the actual education in order to simply claim we "educated" the younger population, not realising the actual material we educated them with could be outdated by twenty years or more. This is probably the best definition of irony in education I can think of, next to the "history" lessons we give about the history of the USA. From education on drugs, to driving, to sex, the information we give our children is mediocre to say the least. Evidence is commonly taken out of context, blatantly ignoring the rules of science, and teachers often forget how to be objective. There's a reason I left college, and a reason I barely graduated high school: I wasn't learning anything, I was being taught to recite information that could often be refuted by other evidence.

The advent of social media has taken the younger generations (especially my own) by storm, and it's probably one of the worst things to happen at this time in history. From my elder sister's generation forward, it seems that a vast majority of us younger people are being quickly taught how to accept information from "Some guy in a tie" (as Peter Joseph has put it); and as a result of this, it has quickly made social networking sites open the floodgates with misinformation. Titblur and Facefuck (aka Tumblr and Facebook) seem to have a wealth of misinformation that makes its rounds to younger people; not to mention the worst one, 4chan *shudders* which is filled with mostly trolls. Now, this isn't to say that we should blame social media for kids fucking bare and claiming safe, but it definitely makes kids think twice about what they claim on other websites (as Seaguy mentioned). Too many kids will quickly take what they see on the internet as the truth, without a second thought, and without research. It's a huge problem, and it won't get better any time soon with the way society is going.

I hate sounding preachy, honestly, but I felt like it needed to be said. Again, it's only coming from someone who's just under 23, so my opinion is definitely biased, but it's an analysis that isn't biased by my personal stance on a topic, just my limited amount of research and experiences. From what I see, too many people have multiple lives without realising it, and it seems to be commonly accepted as okay. You go to work as one person, live life at home as another, put on a special face for visiting family on the holidays, and there's the real face you have when you drown the sorrows with your vices. Occasionally the lines blur, but that's how we seem to function. Why? Because we all want to fit in.

Okay........ now start picking apart my post and shooting it down I honestly would prefer to be proven wrong than be entirely right. Being proven wrong should be celebrated as enlightenment, not seen as humiliation

[colingryphon]

School taught me abstinence and condom use. The use of condoms in my head as an 18yo had more to do with not getting girls pregnant, than disease control. I'm 21 now and have always been fucked raw (and have given it raw). I tried putting on condoms twice so far and they've always instantly killed my boner to the point I can't recover. Not a chaser either.

[Guest virgoz]

Mark my words!

The next thing in hook up sites you will see Will be SSRT..... or safe sex real time....