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changing attitudes?


Guest virgoz

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So if most teens say "Safe Sex Only" do they see barebacking as safe sex? Why do they put Safe Sex Only?

I've also had twinks be OK with barebacking, but then want me to pull out, then get all pissy when I don't. (I'm crystal clear up front in my profile that I don't pull out). Of course a couple months later that twink had basically turned into a cumdump.

because that makes them look like the safe sex angels they want thier peers to think they are. But they know full welll what they prefer raw and those who hook up with them find that out. When I was younger I was afraid to even mention liking to ahve bareback sex cause I did not want others who knew me seeing it and then it turning into gossip and having some bitch lecture me on what a danger I was putting myself in if I had unprotected sex. Like I do not fucking know that. Then there is the growd that will judge you and just stop being your friend cause they can't be associated with someone who does those things. Honestly now I can go well then I would be better off cause who needs friends like that?

But when I was younger and still finding me way and making friends I wanted no hint of anything taboo in my blog.

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I don't think it's that complicated; HIV just isn't as scary as it was in the 80's.

Teens come out, do it with another recently out teen, and both figure that given their relative inexperience, there's damn all chance of them having HIV. After a few years and a lot more sexual experience, they start taking in the message that HIV isn't what it was in the eighties and start thinking "well, I'm probably going to get it anyway, so why change how I have sex?" Reporting on HIV has been unusually optimistic these past couple of years, with the media full of how it's "just" a life long condition that can be treated. We even get claims that people with HIV may have a slightly higher life expectancy because we spend more time with our doctors than the average person without HIV.

Two or three years ago you didn't admit to barebacking. Now with an undetectable viral load being as much a protection (or more, since condom use is very variable) against HIV, raw sex has become a matter for the guys involved. Indeed, I've been told by someone high up in the THT (our main HIV/sexual health charity) that the reason they keep the stress on condoms is because that's what the main (ie millions of pounds) donors want. Now I feel secure enough with today's attitudes to talk casually about barebacking and my attitude to it in my column at beyondpositive, which I wouldn't have done even a year ago.

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I don't think it's that complicated; HIV just isn't as scary as it was in the 80's.

Complicated as in what I posted, or what someone else posted? What I posted is fairly simple, just a much more in depth way of looking at it, but I am biased lol

Rayne, I think I'm in love with you

You wouldn't be the first one :)

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Just did a few searches on A4A:

For 18 & 19 year olds in NYC:

"Anything Goes": 208

"Safe Sex Only": 1200+

"No Answer": 833

So if most teens bareback, why don't they identify as barebackers?

There is some shame in publicly identifying as a barebacker, but the stats alone say it all right there. No answer+anything goes is close to the safe sex only numbers, and we all know how many of those guys dont care either.

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My thoughts:

So, the vast majority of young guys on A4A list as SSO yet the vast majority of the poster's one-on-one contacts were bareback. My interpretation is that, publicly, they want to look 'safe' in case one of their friends finds their profile with their picture on it. Privately, HIV is (at least perceived to be) much less of a health issue than in the past so many say 'fuck it' and go bare.

As to why they aren't on here? Well, I guess they have to find it first. That's always the big hurdle. I found this place from the old BBZ site and might not have found about it otherwise. Plus, as others have said, the young are bombarded by social media sites where they can hook up. Grindr lets them find playdates in their own back yard. I wish they would find us in greater numbers, but even if they did, there's the question of whether they'd put up self-pics and be active. As others have said, image to their peers is especially important at that age.

We need to be thankful for the young ones that have joined us, and encourage them to recommend the site to their barebacking friends. That's the best way for the site to grow, and ensure longevity.

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