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i'm a fucked up slut 'ruining' my life and loving every fucking second


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Posted

recently i decided i hated feeling bored every day and i hated fantasising about being a little fucked up wrecked slut and never doing it. so i quit my job with about £7000 in the bank and left everything behind, my family, friends, the place where i lived, everything. didn't tell them, just left a note and got a plane to a different city in the uk, stayed in a bathhouse the first night then booked into a hotel. on the internet i was able to find men to use me. i used to find it difficult but it's probably because i was frightened of really getting used, i thought i had stuff to lose and didn't want to mess up my life. well sitting on a bed in this hotel room i'd already messed up my boring shitty life and kept getting hard every time i remembered how 'ruined' my future was gonna be, so in my profiles and listings i said i was up for hard use, no loads refused and except for being made to do illegal stuff i don't have any limits. i posted a few pictures of my totally shaved body (everything is shaved) and exactly where i was. i got loads more responses than i ever did before, sitting in my bedroom frightened of what everybody would think if i got hurt. i spent a few days getting bred, trashed, beaten up and permanently marked, plus used as a (sub)human toilet by a few men who basically abducted me after i'd checked out of the hotel and treated me like a sewer i don't even know where, they made me wear a hood the entire time and i'm pretty sure they were filming it. since then i've booked into another cheap hotel and i'll spend a few days here, but then i'm gonna find a proper place to live, just a room somewhere because i'll not be getting a job except for letting men pay to use me. i've already been paid for it, in the first hotel this man said he wanted to pay me to let him tattoo me, he had a tattoo gun with him and i said yeah and he chained me to the bed and tattooed 999 on my neck. i'm not even good looking, but i'm 26 and i'm 5ft 8inches and 116lbs so maybe he just likes trashing young-ish slim guys. a different man fucked me in his car and then said he's frightened for me because of the stuff men had done to me, so stupid because firstly he fucked me without a condom and admitted he hadn't been tested in forever and secondly he shouldn't be frightened for me, i got my savings working boring jobs and i hated every second, even jobs which i should've enjoyed i didn't, and now i'm having the time of my fucking life. when i left the bathhouse after the first night i knew if i got run over by a bus right there i'd die in bliss without any regrets, i'd just spent a day getting bred and i'd taken more cum in 16 hours than i'd taken in 8 years in my previous situation, and this was before i'd been properly used, beaten up, permanently marked etc. i realise this life isn't for everyone but if you fantasise about it all the time like i used to do, and you think you're daydreaming your life away, just fucking do it, it's the best decision you'll ever fucking make.

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Guest JizzDumpWI
Posted

You certainly make a case for living life. And if sex is your fulfillment, great. For someone else it might be writing a novel, or discovering a solution to a human condition. Then too, this might be a stage of life and a year from now you'll be inclined to learn other skills and find fulfillment in additional ways.

Any of these is preferrable to living a job, life, existence you hate under the illusion it is "safe". It is worth your while to get tested and treated for STI's periodically. And were PrEP an option in the UK, get on that. But all of that is in addition to what you're doing; and that not for fear...

Posted

thanks for being understanding everyone. i guess i quit my job completely instead of just for a bit because i knew deep down i'd never return, i intend to do what i'm doing until the end. i felt unsure when i posted this whether people would accept me, i realise what i'm doing is pretty extreme even by the standards of people here, but yeah, thanks for understanding - it feels great to have a place where i can tell people about the stuff i'm experiencing without them attempting to 'rescue' me.

  • Like 1
Posted

I'm actually pretty envious that you're doing the kind of thing I've been wanting to do for quite some time. The major difference is that I enjoy my career and I've got several awesome relationships going. I don't want to give that up but the drive to just fuck everything and get myself totally ruined is so intense.

Guest GoodExercise
Posted

@cuntboi666 -- keep going. You are a trend setter.

Guest JizzDumpWI
Posted
I'm actually pretty envious that you're doing the kind of thing I've been wanting to do for quite some time. The major difference is that I enjoy my career and I've got several awesome relationships going. I don't want to give that up but the drive to just fuck everything and get myself totally ruined is so intense.

A classic problem amongst men. Do we think with the big head or the little one? Everyone at some point has a "Walter Mitty" time whether it is becoming a total sex pig 24x7; or escaping to run tours on a Pacific Island. Many, most of those wind up as some sort of train wreck. When our friend bearbandit makes reference to "young, dumb and full of cum" this is the realm he is referencing. it is never intended as an insult, but rather a reminder to engage the big head too. I would encourage guys to find a balance. Mitigate risk where you can (e.g.: PrEP and testing/treatment more frequently) and let your inner slut out to play at the bathhouse, or on a Palm Springs vacation. As a group, some are going to follow a safe, staid path; and there will be some rewards for that. Others will follow a more self destructive path; and ideally their end will be more swift and painless. And yet others will be somewhere in the middle. As there are no guarantees for any path (not all self destructive paths will end in self destruction; and not all safe, staid paths will end in bliss and prosperity); we're all finding ourselves as we go.

I appreciate those who encourage the adventurous path as those sometimes give me some of the best pleasure. I also appreciate those who encourage safety, although I have to admit, like most here that just won't include condoms. Maybe striving for more "this ... and..." conditions?

Guest faggot hole
Posted

i think cuntboi666 is experiencing the absolute joy is being a total cumdump, the total satisfaction that comes from complete submission, the fulfillment that comes from finally finding his purpose in life.

Posted

I find I agree with cuntboi's choice to just say fukkitall and go out in a blaze of glory. i kinda wanna do the same thing except be owned by a dom who goes about making me his slammed out aidspig and shares me, uses me till i'm worn out and no good anymore. then i'll know i did something i might've actually wanted as opposed to wearing a suit and tie working job after job that i detest.

kudos to you, cuntboi. i wish i had the courage.

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