The Insatiable Trap

[subbytch]

The more I get fucked, the more I want.

Most people already know that, I realize. For me, after years of avoiding getting fucked, having now gotten back into it, with each encounter I don't want it to stop. Being fucked is mostly wrapped up with kinky sex. Soft and loving is fine, but being someone's bitch in the bedroom, their eager, mewing, begging cunt, is all kinds of awesome. Face in pillow, breath on the back of the neck, dirty words whispered (or yelled) are an emotional viagra. Finally blasting, be it the top into me or me onto the bed, is a rolling wave of wonder that fades to warm bliss.

But damn. Thirty minutes. Forty. After they leave. I'm climbing the walls, wanting it again. Hungry hole, indeed.

The trap, for me, is that as submissive as I can be, as bitchy as I get, it's not with everyone. Random guys, no matter how hot, I don't particularly feel comfortable, relaxed, or safe enough to let go and be fucked, let alone dominated. I have a small handful of guys that I can let go like this with. (Curiously, half of that handful is either bisexual or straight identified.) The circle slowly expands, but it's not large enough yet to accommodate their -- or my -- busy life. No doubt it would be better to be a no-loads refused cum dump or frequent bath houses. I never liked either. Whatever the kink space in my soul is narrow but very, very, deep. The love-space even more so.

Anyone else run into a situation like this? How did you solve it? Or is it just a part of life?

[rawTOP]

Maybe you should have one of those guys you trust take you to a bathhouse and pimp you out. Put on a blindfold and let him choose who fucks you. Might help you get into a headspace where you like anonymous sex.

[fuckboy20]

I find that interesting that you say "as submissive as you can be" that you don't feel safe, relaxed, or comfortable enough to bottom with them or be dominated. So it sounds like you're more hesitant about being submissive, which isn't a bad thing. Kind of curious, when you play with these tops or see them how do you approach them? Or do you just meet guys online? I've found in the past when I went to bath houses and whored out I was a bit more picky and bitchy even. Although I've started to change that. I instantly sort of, maybe bonds not the word, but just build some kind of connection with the top I'm with. Whether I'm on my knees, we're making out, or I'm worshiping him. I always look into the tops eyes and try to search for something about him. Usually, if I can at least look into his eyes I can sort of tell if it's safe situation or not. Although, once at a bath house I played with one top and his eyes were fucking cold as ice. No sympathy or compassion. He fucked me several times but threatened me several times that he'd fist me. He was trying to get a rise out of me as he fucked me and it worked. He was hot though.

But rawtop is right. You need to decide if you just want anonymous sex, being bent over and taking any and every load up your ass or if you want to try to search the guy first and see if he's safe or if you can trust him or want to do something with him. What me and a guy do together determines how far I'll go for him. And for someone who I feel trust worthy with, heavily attracted to and feels the same for me I'll go the fucking distance for that guy. Otherwords, I'll just be a fuck hole and another load count, and that's fine with me.

You should try going to a bath house or something with a friend. Know that he'll be near so you don't have to feel nervous or uncertain about the top's fucking you. Maybe come up with a word, sign, or motion to so you're friend will know if you aren't enjoying something or not liking it he can intervene. Best of luck

[Guest faggot hole]

There are born, natural sluts and there are those with inclinations who need to be trained to accept any load, from any man, any time, anywhere. i am of the former type, but i know and respect sluts of the latter type. In the end, we all end up in the same place -- our lives dominated by this insatiable need that controls virtually our every thought and action. And so, Subbytch, when you find yourself leaving work at mid-afternoon because some guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who fucks you pretty regularly has texted you with instructions to his hotel room, when you find yourself following the clerk at Whole Foods into the back room for a quick fuck, when ou find yourself stopping to watch a pick up basketball game in the park and end up being fucked by the entire skins team, then you'll know you've arrived at nirvana.

[subbytch]

@fucktoy20, yeah, I don't feel safe with just any old top or dom. Been around the block one too many times, counting the crazies and nutjobs with each pass. To answer you question, most of the guys I play with regularly I found every place but a dating app or site. One was a straight neighbor who I discovered gets off on dominating the fuck out of gay guys. (Is he secretly gay? I don't fucking care. lol.) Another I met on a nude beach. We became friends. Hanging out one day, things turned sexual and has sense gotten more sexual. Neither of those two (or the one or two others I'd count) are serious relationships / scenes. More regular play. I like these guys, so I feel "safe" with them, in a way that I don't with some random trick I've met on an app or in a bar.

I like @raw top's idea of having one of the guys I trust whore me out, though I'm still not sure if that's something I want to do -- or just don't want to do yet. It might also take one of these guys, or maybe someone else I'm yet to meet, to be " trained to accept any load, from any man, any time, anywhere" as @faggot hole writes. Either way should prove interesting. Though the constant desire to be an in-use cunt might be the best predictor of where things will eventually end up. lol.

[BabyBobby]

I am very submissive also but there are many guys I either was nervous with or just not interested in. However some of my best sex has been with those same guys or at least the few that understood that I have a tough time with getting picked up and spent the effort talking to me. Those guys learned how my head works and that if given completely the choice I couldn't say yes to them but once they figured out that they could take my hand and tell me that it was time for them to take me home that I would then let them and could then relax completely and have a great time with them.