Hurting myself unnecessary

[losttop]

Have this FB of mine who wanted to visit me in Europe....he made it clear before coming over that we would only be like friends....so no sex. I told him I found this somewhat strange as I enjoy sharing him with other guys or even play with him and other bottom sluts when he is in top mode. I also enjoy 1-1 with him.anyway... With some hesitation I agreed to it. To be honest it made me feel very insecure as I couldn't truly understand his motivations...we went to sexclub several times and he gets very drunk every time and then he says it's shit and that nobody wants to play with him as he is out of shape...after coming home he puts up a quick connect add on BBRT trying to find bottom guy to cum over and service us both...he also gets this sudden urges that when he is horny and masturbating I have to fuck him...he wants no talking...just plow him as quickly as possible and be done with it! I feel somewhat like human dildo...needless to say that there have been some drunken scenes between us when we go out due to excessive drinking. The truth of the matter is that I don't feel good with it...he claims that we spend too much time together and that he likes to be alone at times... He is a lot of times on hookup sites...when I ask him if he wants to do something together with other guy.... He tells me to mind my own business and that I should hook up on my own. I pay for everything...his flights, his stay here and when we go out, I also pay for everything as he has no job. Am I wrong to expect sex? Friends of mine say that I'm plain stupid for putting myself in this position. We r supposed to go to some gay resort later this summer.... But to be honest I don't know if I should do this...anyone ever had experience with something like this?

[drscorpio]

Your friend is right. Stop paying his way and get this hot mess out of your life.

[BC_Bottom]

Cut him loose. You do not need to be abused like this.

[losttop]

Cut him loose. You do not need to be abused like this.

That's exactly how it feels...being abused. I have found a part of me that can be quite submissive.... Which I find hot...but that's only at spur of the moment during sexual encounter and not on regular basis.

[NLbear]

You might as well spend your money on a hot escort. At least then you know that you get what you want.

So yes, as the others here said, tell him to go home. You are being used and you don't need someone like that in your life.

[mike43]

Lose him he is taking as advantage of your kind nature

[bbzh]

@originalposter: I think this is the guy you have written about here so many times before. Your "friend" has got you exactly where he wants you. He knows you are sexually attracted to him and you are desperately yearning for companionship and sex from him. You are probably not willing to use the services of an escort for a variety of reasons (e.g. you feel your looks don't warrant it or it just doesn't feel right) but what your "friend" is doing to you is far worse than what an escort would do.

Why can't you just block this guy and find another guy?

Or if you are willing to pay for things like trips then make it clear upfront how much you are willing to spend? There are no boundaries here.

And I think he has played the game many times with you where he said no sex, and then suddenly wants to use you as a backup dick when he can't find another guy.

Just end this nonsense. Please?

I am really starting to feel sorry for you. You have been doing this for two years now and your only "outlet" is to come here and ask for sympathy from strangers.

And then you go right back to doing what you are doing.

Given the ratio of tops to bottoms, there are plenty of guys that would let you fuck them for free. But you are letting this guy fuck YOU and your head in the process.

If you are not willing to listen to anything I have said, then you would at least have to agree with the statement that you actually like what is happening. I can't think of any other reason why someone who appears to be intelligent enough to express his feelings in words would keep making the same mistake.

[AlwaysOpen]

dude- you are doing BUY BUY BUY-- as in plane tickets, food and booze--- when you really should be doing BYE BYE BYE-- the street has a curb for a reason- kick his mooching butt to it,turn and never look back

[losttop]

@originalposter: I think this is the guy you have written about here so many times before. Your "friend" has got you exactly where he wants you. He knows you are sexually attracted to him and you are desperately yearning for companionship and sex from him. You are probably not willing to use the services of an escort for a variety of reasons (e.g. you feel your looks don't warrant it or it just doesn't feel right) but what your "friend" is doing to you is far worse than what an escort would do.

Why can't you just block this guy and find another guy?

Or if you are willing to pay for things like trips then make it clear upfront how much you are willing to spend? There are no boundaries here.

And I think he has played the game many times with you where he said no sex, and then suddenly wants to use you as a backup dick when he can't find another guy.

Just end this nonsense. Please?

I am really starting to feel sorry for you. You have been doing this for two years now and your only "outlet" is to come here and ask for sympathy from strangers.

And then you go right back to doing what you are doing.

Given the ratio of tops to bottoms, there are plenty of guys that would let you fuck them for free. But you are letting this guy fuck YOU and your head in the process.

If you are not willing to listen to anything I have said, then you would at least have to agree with the statement that you actually like what is happening. I can't think of any other reason why someone who appears to be intelligent enough to express his feelings in words would keep making the same mistake.

I know u r right.... I don't need to use an escort service as I can get enough ass.... It's not that...it's beyond a sexual thing....I really care for him and somehow he cares for me...I just don't think he does sexually. We went to a sauna today and it was just hurtful to c him going with others.... Even not so good looking ones, and him discarding me totally like I almost didn't exist...he always gives me this 5 minute special.... While apparently he can spend well over half an hour with some old ugly man...that's just being plain mean... He told me he knew I was eat him with who he went and that's why he did it....I told him I don't mind that he goes with others.... I do luv a cummy ass... But give me then some attention.... It's all too painful basically... I let him insult me.... I was basically almost following him in the sauna.... And all he could say was stop following me around...I wouldn't have to do that if I knew I was getting a piece of his ass in the end.... I know he does like group thing occasionally.... Why can't he do it with me!? Other FBs don't have a problem with it...And when I tell him I didn't enjoy the sauna he says that I'm being difficult... It's easy for a bottom to say who just puts his ass in the air and gets fucked by no matter who... It's a bit harder for a top with a bruised ego...

[fisterm8]

i honest dont know if hes a user or you are.............perhaps deep down you really enjoy it.......be truthful.....................perhaps you can get the word GUM tattoed on your forehead and sit looking at yourself in a mirror

[UKSlamPIG]

"Relationships" like this NEVER improve - they are simply not meant to be. You have very different beliefs, values and morals which make you totally incompatible.

It sounds very much like you have an addiction to him, this will only resolve by totally cutting off contact until you have properly moved on and have closure from whatever it is inside of you that allows and even encourages this to continue.

Apportioning blame is fruitless but it is not one way as I see it because a couple of times you have said words to the effect of "Am I wrong to expect sex as I am paying for everything?" YES you are bloody wrong to expect sex when you voluntarily paid for these things.

The longer this continues the longer it will take to recover and get your closure but if you were to meet another guy who you took a shine to on more than a purely sexual level you'd find the closure quite quickly and from experience I can tell you that you will also feel like a prized prick for having let this screw you up for as long as it has.

When you do meet someone else be careful not to let this debacle cloud how you deal with things...be yourself and do what you feel is right and what you are comfortable with. Don't treat next guy as if he is previous guy - the temptation may be to be too much in control or tight as a ducks arse so that history doesn't repeat itself but next guy won't be the same everyone is unique. Don't repeat the mistakes you have made but don't let those mistakes ruin the future either.

Be yourself as being who the last guy wanted you to be or who you thought he wanted you to be hasn't been a roaring success. If someone likes you for who you are things are so much easier so go find that someone - for fucks sake there are 50 of us subs for every 1 top so you should be auditioning for the future not crucifying yourself with the past.

[UKSlamPIG]

PS The one thing you have very much in common with this guy is that neither of you have any respect for you. He doesn't respect you and that's as much your fault as his for allowing him to pick you up, use you & reject you at will but also you are lacking self respect by not putting a stop to it.

[losttop]

i honest dont know if hes a user or you are.............perhaps deep down you really enjoy it.......be truthful.....................perhaps you can get the word GUM tattoed on your forehead and sit looking at yourself in a mirror

Sorry if I sound dumm.... But no idea to what GUM stands for...

[losttop]

PS The one thing you have very much in common with this guy is that neither of you have any respect for you. He doesn't respect you and that's as much your fault as his for allowing him to pick you up, use you & reject you at will but also you are lacking self respect by not putting a stop to it.

I totally agree.... I should have more self respect.... But u know, a users know to turn and twitch things around so u think u r an asshole... In all fairness I think I have been quite jealous.... But in my defense it's only because he makes me feel inadequate...I shouldn't be asking for sex or feel guilty that I am.... Don't have that with any of my FBs...he also always says that my FBs r not so good looking and then again I feel like I should be lucky to have him.... But after I saw openly some of the guys he left fuck him.... I honestly think he is full of it! I luv him.... But it's wearing me out...

[UKSlamPIG]

I think GUM in a mirror will read MUG...