losttop Posted June 3, 2014 Report Share Posted June 3, 2014 Its still very hard to deal with things since my FB/ friend left few days ago...I have received few emails since he left and it's basically him blaming me for being a drama queen, that I will never have social life where I live as people saw how I treated him. Not once does he take responsibility for any of his actions or behaviour...how can someone not c that it's not ok for me paying for everything if we r not BF or FB....I don't pay for stuff for my friends ,FBs or BFs....never done that before. He doesn't c that it would hurt me that he gladly would go with other people.... But the times that we did something it was almost like a chore.... Saw some of his FBs and automatically I would compare them to myself...they weren't hotter than me.... In fact some of them were simply out of shape and downright a lot older and not hot to look at....it made me insecure....yesterday I hooked up briefly with some guy... But my heart was not really into it...felt even more empty and worthless afterwards.... Not in the mood for having sex at all.... It's all too fresh...a good friend of mine is coming over to spend few days with me.... Should be fun for once.... He is just good friend with who I can laugh a lot and enjoy few drinks....I hope I will be ok... I think I will... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuckboy20 Posted June 3, 2014 Report Share Posted June 3, 2014 I'm going to commend you for posting something personal here. Not everyone does, although this probably really the only place for stuff like this. First off, I'm sorry things didn't work out with your bf. I'll admit, it was a little bit hard to read but I think I got the gist. One, don't compare yourself to other guys it will never win. Whether you think you're better looking than them or they are better looking than you. I used to compare myself to guys all the time and it only made me feel lesser. I know someone who compares himself to others and feels superior over them. And in all honesty, he aint the best looking guy. He's hot, but not the hottest. I can relate to the empty feeling during sex. I saw a guy for a while and really liked him and read way too much into the situation. After I realized I was just a convience for him it hurt a little, especially after I showed parts of my submissive side and other sides that I haven't felt in a while since things ended with my exes. So basically there was kissing, sucking, and fucking but it didn't feel like I was really there or present. It took having sex with someone else to sort of put me back on track. Same as talking to some friends. I know how it feels to really miss an ex whether it was a bad break up or just not meant to be. But you can't let that stop you from having sex. I'm really glad I went to cumunion a week ago because it confirmed a lot for me. It's just sex. I had a blast taking some loads and cock and fucking some guys. I didn't feel desperate or lonely but I wasn't completely at my A game like I was the month before. But I had fun. I went home with a guy, I had fun. I saw the guy who I lusted after the other night and actually, I'm starting to think that he might want me. But to me it wasn't love, it wasn't romance, it wasn't a night I'll never forgot. It was hot sex with some passion, and a lot of lust and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Don't place all your eggs in one basket. Just take things for what they are and just enjoy sex with a guy if you want to. Don't let emotions, hangups, or mental blocks stop you from having fun sexually or doing other stuff. It's just not worth the worry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
losttop Posted June 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2014 He used to be my bf a year ago and then we split up...we were FBs for a while but then he decided we would be only friends.... Something that was hard for me as I liked him sexually....I never felt better or worse looking than other guys.... But by him not wanting me sexually, he made me feel inadequate.... I know I shouldn't, as I travel the world and hook up with guys all the time.... But isn't there a saying.... We want what we can't have? Sometimes he would have sex with me...always a quick affair though...deep down I think he realized I was always ready for him and that put him off.... What u can have easily is not that attractive I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VersatileBreeder Posted June 4, 2014 Report Share Posted June 4, 2014 Hey man, sorry to hear that things didn't work out with you and your bf. I gotta be honest with you though- I have read quite a few posts you put on this site about him and I have to tell you, this relationship just sounded like it was never meant to be. It sounded toxic and doomed to fail one way or another. I'm sorry for putting it so bluntly, but it's the best way I can. I was in a relationship some years ago with a girl (I am bi) and I was so madly in love with her. For months, I thought she was in love with me too, but what I failed to see was that I was basically a rebound from her break up with her ex. She just needed someone to get her over the hump of the heartbreak. I was that someone. I didn't see it at the time. Once she was over the heartbreak, she didn't need me anymore. When she started pushing me away emotionally, all I did was try to pull myself harder towards her. And the harder I pulled, the more she pushed me away. It didn't make sense to me at the time why things weren't working out, but I see it now. Likewise, one day, hopefully sooner than later, you will see too the reasons why things didn't work out with this guy. But really dude, no good relationship is ever going to encompass as much drama and be as complicated as the one you described with this guy. All relationships have their ups and downs, but this roller coaster ride you were on with this guy was excessive. You will be much better off with out him. Trust me. One day you'll understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
losttop Posted June 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2014 Hey man, sorry to hear that things didn't work out with you and your bf. I gotta be honest with you though- I have read quite a few posts you put on this site about him and I have to tell you, this relationship just sounded like it was never meant to be. It sounded toxic and doomed to fail one way or another. I'm sorry for putting it so bluntly, but it's the best way I can.I was in a relationship some years ago with a girl (I am bi) and I was so madly in love with her. For months, I thought she was in love with me too, but what I failed to see was that I was basically a rebound from her break up with her ex. She just needed someone to get her over the hump of the heartbreak. I was that someone. I didn't see it at the time. Once she was over the heartbreak, she didn't need me anymore. When she started pushing me away emotionally, all I did was try to pull myself harder towards her. And the harder I pulled, the more she pushed me away. It didn't make sense to me at the time why things weren't working out, but I see it now. Likewise, one day, hopefully sooner than later, you will see too the reasons why things didn't work out with this guy. But really dude, no good relationship is ever going to encompass as much drama and be as complicated as the one you described with this guy. All relationships have their ups and downs, but this roller coaster ride you were on with this guy was excessive. You will be much better off with out him. Trust me. One day you'll understand. Man I know and I understand... It's just that I wanted things to work out somehow.... We failed as BF then we failed as FB and I didn't really want to just be friends as I know I couldn't handle it as I liked him sexually. It's just the way he made me feel inadequate that angers me... With who I fucked was not good enough.... How I dressed was not good.... He was always creating shit.... When we would go out he would create drama and then blame it all on me....I'm no saint either but at least I take responsibility and admit when I did things wrong. Not going to lie...I still care for him but I can't deal with how insecure he makes me feel by refusing to be FB just like that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wood Posted June 4, 2014 Report Share Posted June 4, 2014 Man I know and I understand... It's just that I wanted things to work out somehow.... We failed as BF then we failed as FB and I didn't really want to just be friends as I know I couldn't handle it as I liked him sexually. It's just the way he made me feel inadequate that angers me... With who I fucked was not good enough.... How I dressed was not good.... He was always creating shit.... When we would go out he would create drama and then blame it all on me....I'm no saint either but at least I take responsibility and admit when I did things wrong. Not going to lie...I still care for him but I can't deal with how insecure he makes me feel by refusing to be FB just like that... Its sounds like you were never over the relationship portion to begin with. I've been in your situation before, and looking at it again later, I can definitely say thats what happened to me. Even right now with what you type, you are complaining about relationship based things, not friend based things. A lot of friends have "drama" but they dont let it rule the interaction because they are just friends. You say you just like him sexually but everything you have typed says otherwise. If he was just a "FB" it would be much easier to let him go. However, he isnt. You were, and are still emotionally invested in him. Personally I would stay away from a while. Its one of the only things that really helps in situations like this. Maybe you guys will become close again one day, you never know, but I very much doubt it will happen in the next six months. You both need space to grow and breath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
losttop Posted June 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2014 Of course I like him more than just a FB..... But I would settle for that if things went well.. But it's his continuing disinterest that's annoying... Knowing that he can be something with some of his FBs and with me he can't.... He says I talk too much about feelings.... That I'm like woman.. I disagree... Tops can have feelings too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wood Posted June 5, 2014 Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 Of course I like him more than just a FB..... But I would settle for that if things went well.. But it's his continuing disinterest that's annoying... Knowing that he can be something with some of his FBs and with me he can't.... He says I talk too much about feelings.... That I'm like woman.. I disagree... Tops can have feelings too... Well without knowing you, but what you have aid in here so far, you probably do talk too much about feelings. If you want to be friends and FB's those have to go away. Its more fucking then, okay I gotta go. No kissing or hugging goodbye, etc. FB's are not BF's and you need to talk all the BF stuff away if thats what its gonna be. It sounds like you brought many of the BF behavioral tendencies into the FB relationship, and you cant do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lungfucker Posted June 5, 2014 Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 There are a few instances where the statement "He made me feel inadequate" appears. No one can make you feel inadequate. Only you can allow yourself to feel inadequate. He can make an effort to make you feel inadequate, but in doing so, he reveals himself to be a manipulating individual. Chalk this chapter of your life up to a "character building experience," and move on as quickly as possible. He is making it very clear that he wants to demean and use you, and you are making it very clear that you will allow him to do it (but be unhappy about it); this is mixing fire and gasoline, and is dangerous for both of you. Best wishes on your next relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
losttop Posted June 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 There are a few instances where the statement "He made me feel inadequate" appears. No one can make you feel inadequate. Only you can allow yourself to feel inadequate. He can make an effort to make you feel inadequate, but in doing so, he reveals himself to be a manipulating individual. Chalk this chapter of your life up to a "character building experience," and move on as quickly as possible. He is making it very clear that he wants to demean and use you, and you are making it very clear that you will allow him to do it (but be unhappy about it); this is mixing fire and gasoline, and is dangerous for both of you. Best wishes on your next relationship. U have defined it very well! Guess part of me allowed it as I found him sexually stimulating and even enjoyed him being demeaning somewhat.... But it gets old very fast.... Also feel somewhat responsible for guy which I know is ridiculous...no it's better for me to stick with being a somewhat dominant top who likes to whore out his bottom guys.... Went yesterday to guys home for quick pump and dump section.... He had already 2 loads in him...really enjoyed being verbal and using him.... So getting there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barehole4use Posted June 5, 2014 Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 Wish i could find a real Dominant Top to whore out my ass, Cause i'd do it with pleasure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RWHID Posted June 5, 2014 Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 I would try to offer some type of support, but it seems as though I'm kinda in the same situation, and it just repeats. My first main BF... I loved him so much... still do, but he hurt me a lot with one stupid lie. We still talk once a week... would give my life to have him out and home, but then I would be dead... he still wants us to be together, and I want that too, but not sure how long he will be away for, and I had to let go for now. It hurt a lot. I ended up meeting a nice guy... who done more lying than the my first BF... and that was in just 3 months where my first was almost 9 months. Hopefully he will come around. Maybe do what he wants, and just be friends now. When he wants sex do not give it to him, even if you want to. If you feel like you being ready for him all the time was what turned him off, if he asks again reject his advances, and say you are just friends. Let him realize you won't be ready every time he wants it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
losttop Posted June 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 Wish i could find a real Dominant Top to whore out my ass, Cause i'd do it with pleasure. I sent u PM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
losttop Posted June 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 I would try to offer some type of support, but it seems as though I'm kinda in the same situation, and it just repeats. My first main BF... I loved him so much... still do, but he hurt me a lot with one stupid lie. We still talk once a week... would give my life to have him out and home, but then I would be dead... he still wants us to be together, and I want that too, but not sure how long he will be away for, and I had to let go for now. It hurt a lot. I ended up meeting a nice guy... who done more lying than the my first BF... and that was in just 3 months where my first was almost 9 months. Hopefully he will come around. Maybe do what he wants, and just be friends now. When he wants sex do not give it to him, even if you want to. If you feel like you being ready for him all the time was what turned him off, if he asks again reject his advances, and say you are just friends. Let him realize you won't be ready every time he wants it. Stay away from liars.. Trust me on that one.... This one isn't a liar but just an abuser....don't really want to play games.... What u c is pretty much what u get from me.... Besides would be hard to refuse to have sex with him when he looks at me with those puppy eyes and says. Fuck me! Know I should but don't think I could... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TigerMilner Posted June 5, 2014 Report Share Posted June 5, 2014 I don't like your FB. No disrespect intended, but it seems he preys on your/and other peoples weaknesses. I don't like that in people. I avoid people like that at all costs. We all need to surround ourselves with positive influences ( no pun intended) and positive energies. He is not on that plane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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