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Found out I'm HIV positive last month, freaking out - crying for help or support here


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Posted

Insurance: the easiest is to test anonymously. If it is positive, you get life insurance right now before you officially know. But for you it is late for that, as was for me.

My first job after I converted I decided I would be honest and filled up the form honestly: I was denied insurance. Next job I was smarter, I filled the forms but did NOT fill the medical questionnaire. I got full coverage, with smaller coverage for some things. Big improvements. So know that you do not have to answer any medical questions. It is better not to, than to lie because insurance company can sue you for lying and ask you for reimbursement.

Posted (edited)

L'Actuel has some good dr, my ex was followed there. I went a few times and did not like his dr (he was cold and not friendly). It is important that you feel that you can say anything to your dr: drugs, sex, personal problems. If you don't feel comfortable, I suggest that you look for another. However, you may find a good dr in a bad clinic, or a bad dr in a good clinic. It is human relations: just remember that you will probably be with him/her for a LONG time.

My dr is an angel. I've spoken to a few people who are seeming the same as me, and we all agree that he is exceptional. I don't want to say names here.

Edited by Voyageur666
Posted

wait a minute, so unless i 'hide' my status, i'm screwed out of insurance?

that feels ludicrous to me, considering poz undetectable can have healthy lives

i cant believe i might be denied insurance because of this

im so pissed

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Posted
I'm gay (for one), asian (you won't believe how many guys turn me down or don't even talk to me on dating sites because I'm asian).. and now HIV+.

Well, I for one LOVE young poz Asian guys. My bf is Asian and he's pretty uptight about sex sometimes. Honestly, there are times when I wish he were poz - he'd probably let his guard down and be more fun sexually.

I'm also scared about meds.
I'm in Quebec. i have to pay $80 for a 'franchise' every month if i start any treatment. even that is taking a toll on my budget in the near future.

Realize you've got probably two years or more before your immune system requires meds. Until then you're fine without them. Yes, some people like to start them immediately, but the impact on the patient is pretty much marginal if you take a long-term perspective. However, there is a point where you'll need them - so it's good to have a doctor regularly monitor your t-cell count.

Also, anyone with HIV able to tell me whats the impact on travelling from Canada to the States? am i in trouble?

The US got rid of the law that prevented poz folks from entering the country. Even while it was on the books people just didn't declare their condition - they'd mail their meds to their hotel in advance so a search of their bags wouldn't reveal that they were poz.

I feel like I can't have a normal life anymore; I don't want HIV to dictate my life :(

It doesn't need to. Yes, at some point there will be one or more pills you have to take, and certain illnesses may take longer to get rid of or require more aggressive treatment, but if you see your doctor regularly that will probably be about it. You'll probably cause more harm by worrying about it.

On the plus side, if you've ever fantasized about being a slut - well, now you can. The worst has happened - so make the most of it. There are some great bathhouses in Montréal - you can now be ass up taking loads at them for hours now without worrying about getting pozzed. In other words, relax and enjoy yourself. There's tons of fun to be had - your life isn't any more over than it was before you became poz.

Posted

Insurance is a business. HIV people cost money, so they don't take us. You should not feel it is bad to hide your status: you respond to a business with whatever works, it is just working the system.

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Posted
im not really thinking about sex at the moment.

right now im scared about my viral load or cd4 count

It's not HIV that's dictating your life right now - it's fear. You have total control over fear - just choose not to be afraid. You have all the facts. You know you'll be OK - so just reject the fear. It really is a mind over matter thing.

Fear can be healthy, but this isn't one of those times.

Posted

there are a lot of rice qiueens who are poz who would love you out there, and then there are non rice queens. i just know that rice queens would love that body of yours based on your profile pic.

i am white and have asian friends but i cannot tell you how many times i have thought some guy was cute only to have my asian friend go oh he is a big ole rice queen so i can tell you that at least here in seattle you'd be sought after poz or not.

Posted

relocate to Vancouver aka Hongcouver it's got a large gay asian community and sounds less discriminatory than where you live now.

Posted

Can someone please chat with me on Skype : jtonic00

The isolation is killing me, but I'm not ready to 'go' to a support group.

Posted
wait a minute, so unless i 'hide' my status, i'm screwed out of insurance?

that feels ludicrous to me, considering poz undetectable can have healthy lives

i cant believe i might be denied insurance because of this

im so pissed

Where are you located? In the US the ACA (affordable care act or Obamacare) supposedly (someone correct me if I am wrong) prohibits insurers from rejecting you due to pre-existing conditions so there is no need to hide your status. That said, while they can't deny you, they can charge you a lot more because of the high risk group. I am undetectable but to stay that way, the 3 meds I am on cost over $3,000/month (out of pocket for me with insurance and drug company copays is $10). If you hide your status just to get insurance and then they find out, it might be considered insurance fraud and at best they could drop you and at worst you might go to jail.

Posted

I have an appointment next week to find out my viral load and test results that should tell me whether I have any resistance to meds. I heard that CD4 levels can vary depending on when the tests were being done. Can I trust the clinic that they'll recommend the right treatment / timing ? Should I get a second opinion from another doctor?

I need advice.

Posted
im in Canada (Quebec)

Doesn't Canada have universal heathcare? I would google it and find out how Canadian laws and your healthcare system works when it comes to insurance and pre-existing etc.

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