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i've decided to become poz


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No judgments on you at all man, but I think you are making a big mistake. With PrEP available (and there are programs that you can get it without insurance), there should be no need for you to be afraid. You sound like a perfect candidate for it.

8 months ago, the uptake on PrEP had finally gotten to me and I was going to explore into getting it. Unfortunately, one month later, I had tested poz. I was too late for PrEP.

You have no insurance. That means you will have to go on ADAP to get HIV drugs should you turn poz. Sure it's do-able and sure, you can live a regular lifespan under HIV drugs, but do you really want to deal with that hassle? Do you really want to deal with the stigma?

You're 20. You have a long life ahead of you. Do you want to look at the rest of your life as having to take a pill everyday and go to a doctor ever three months? That's HIV at its best man. At it's worse, it can be bad reactions to the drugs, drug resistant strains, failing treatment that leads to having AIDS. Sure many gay men live good and comfortable lives while being poz, but do you want to have to look at both sides of this coin and wonder what your life will be like?

I ask you this- aside from loving bareback sex and not wanting to be afraid anymore, is there any other underlying reason why you would want to become poz?

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I still don't think the medicine nowadays is a good enough justification to want to become poz.

Is the medicine good? From my experience, yeah it's great. I take one Stribild pill every morning and have no side effects. My first blood draw will probably yield low or undetectable results.

Would I rather live a life of NOT having to take a pill every morning? Yeah man, I would. And what about long term effects of the pills? The one a day regiments haven't been out long enough to know what long term damage they may or may not do to the body. I try not to think about it, but I hope I never have to find out. I hope there is a functional cure or an even cleaner drug out before I may have to find out.

See the questions we poz guys have to ask ourselves? Ask yourself if you want to be asking yourself these questions in your future.

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I think poptrinic makes an excellent point. If taking Prep can more or less take the worry away without altering you in a permanant way like turning poz will, I say, why not? Once you turn poz, you'll have to think about meds and your health every day of your life. And that's only if you respond well to the drugs. If you get on Prep, you still have to take a pill every day, but it's not required. You can stop any time you want. If you're poz and you stop taking your pills, you could die. I love bareback sex, too, and I too hate the fear of wondering, did I just take the wrong guy's load. As soon as I can afford Prep, I plan to get on it and then go on a piggy spree, taking loads from every and any guy I can.

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read the facts: Prep is 92% to 99% effective, so reduces considerably the chance but there is never a zero probability.

There's never a zero probability on anything. The only way not to get HIV is to abstain from sex. But given the OP was willing to just get HIV so we could fuck raw, I'd say 99% less chances is pretty damn good.

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i've done my research. i'm gonna get tested and see if i can get prep. i don't have insurance.

Not sure how that will work. Even if Gilead will cover the cost of your meds (not sure if they do this for neg guys), you still have to pay for doctors visits and labs every 3 months which will be costly. Maybe try to find a study near you? But if you're not in a major city, that's gonna be difficult as well.

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HIV is not like high blood pressure where youi can take a pill and live out your life pretty much normally and it seems like the millenials or whatever just don't quite get that fact. Just the other day I read about HIV + individuals have a higher rate of missed diagnosis for cancer, there is still allot of discrimination against those with HIV as well. Is the "worry" so bad that you want to trade it off for all the things that come with being poz at mentioned above. And correct me if I am wrong but when one antiviral HIV med stops working they move you to another but eventually some people can run out of options and that can lead to getting full blown AIDS and eventually death. So getting HIV early in life would seem to increase the risk of something like that occurring.

Personally if it were me and I had so much worry about getting HIV that it was causing me anxiety I would first see a therapist and try to work on getting over the worry. There are ways to do that. Then I could continue to take my chances barebacking but then getting it when I get it, which could be tomorrow could be 20 yrs from now who knows but the longer you put off getting it the better especially with advances in medicine.

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I love bareback sex and I'm tired of being afraid. what are a few things I should know as I start this journey.

facts about me

-i have no insurance

-i live in new jersey

-I am 20

please don't judge. thank you.

Why did you not sign up for Obamacare? I am unemployed right now but have medicaid through Obamacare and it pays for my high blood pressure pills which I could not afford one without the medicaid. NJ did have a small medicaid expansion so you might want to see if you can sign up for it still, or if you make too much there is the Obamacare insurance through carriers initially I was on one of them and it was going to run me 70 a month the deductibles were not great but it was better than nothing. If you continue with no insurance eventually they are going to levy a $500 fine I think.
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Why did you not sign up for Obamacare? I am unemployed right now but have medicaid through Obamacare and it pays for my high blood pressure pills which I could not afford one without the medicaid. NJ did have a small medicaid expansion so you might want to see if you can sign up for it still, or if you make too much there is the Obamacare insurance through carriers initially I was on one of them and it was going to run me 70 a month the deductibles were not great but it was better than nothing. If you continue with no insurance eventually they are going to levy a $500 fine I think.

problem is that my parents took me out of their insurance when i came out.

i can't afford to move out

i'm just a waiter.

i don't even have enough to go to school.

i don't get any help because my parents still mark me down as a dependent but they don't help me with anything.

i 'm not even allowed to eat at home.

i'm just lucky i don't pay rent

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