A Question - From A Shy Bottom

[ctdanburyguy]

So it seems i will have free time this weekend to finally try hooking up with men for sex and fun.  It's been a while since i've last done this, and i am a bit shy also.

Not to mention having a bit of a belly and a hairy back (5'6"  165 lbs), i guess i'd be call a lil bear or something...and it seems most men want fit guys these days.

My question is, how i would place an ad on BBRT or other places that would be attractive to men?  I think my shyness scares some off, along with my body type.  Though once i get hot, typically anything goes.  Any ideas?

Thanks for the help

[NLbear]

There are plenty of men out there who go for your body type. A plus is that you're a (vesr) bottom. Just be honest about your body description and what you are looking for. I too live away from major places where gay men live but do get lucky from time to time.

[bearbandit]

5'6" bear with a hairy back... Step right this way, head of the queue, do not pass go, etc etc

As NLbear says, just be honest about yourself and say clearly what you're looking for. Most people are shy to one degree or another: the trick is to act like you're not. Once you can do that, you'll find the shyness drops away.

 

Have fun!

[kenaibull]

If you are really 5'6" and 165lbs I would not say you are "fat"...more like "chubby". If they want the guy on the cover of MEN'S FITNESS then they had better be ready for a long, hard search. I used to call a phone sex line called "The manhole" and I swear every guy on there said he was " 6'4", 195lbs, ripped muscled abs and an 8" cock"...lmao. Wow! First of all, if you think you need to look like a porn star to get laid, you are VERY mistaken. Porn may be hot, but there is a reason that those guys get paid to get filmed and photo'd. They are a rare exception. Very rare. I think that the image that porn portrays of all men being Greek Gods is somewhat laughable...and if you let it, it can screw with your self esteem. Having said that, we can always improve, the trick lies in not being vain about it. 

 

Shyness and a lack of self-esteem are not always, but usually, linked. It's all about self-confidence. Another contributing factor perhaps is the community in which you live. Is it gay friendly? Are you worried about being outed? All questions to ask yourself when confronting the issue of "being shy". Maybe your shyness is worry concerning if people will find out. Only you know.

 

Just post a basic, simple profile. No need to write a book. Men are visual. List what you are into, etc. Good luck to you. 

[TigerMilner]

The internet is perfect for shy guys. You can say, do and be things that you never would have the nerve for in person. Take advantage of that. Whether you go on Craigslist or create a profile on Adam4adam, Scruff, Grindr or whatever, make it as slutty as possible. If you want to get fucked by trucker, say that. If you want to choke a guy with your cock til you shoot down his throat, spell it out. Whatever you do, do not say anything passive like "looking to meet a guy and see what happens". You know what will happen from that-nothing. Be bold and have a HOT time.

[not_sure_bb]

im not "fit" at all and have never had a problem getting fucked. Dont sweat it. 

[Guest bearbackgemini]

You sound sexy too me! Love hairy backs

[ctdanburyguy]

Guys, thank you for all the comments, greatly appreciated

[fskn]

Your body is great just the way it is. Embrace it! My weight has fluctuated over the years, I no longer shave my body hair, and I can say objectively that none of this has made any difference in terms of how many guys I fuck, or how pleasurable each fuck is. It's funny, because when I was younger, I always preferred older men (except my ex-husband, obviously a mistake), and these days I seem to meet guys around age 25.

As for posting a successful ad, the only rules are to show and describe yourself accurately, and to ask for what you actually want.

If you're shy about showing your whole body right away, use an ass shot (BBRTS), underwear shot (allowed on most apps) or a face shot as a public pic, and then unlock or send more pics after a guy has expressed tentative interest. Just be sure that your verbal description and stats are honest. You're hairy, so say so!

As for saying what you want, if you want a 20-year-old Poz muscle twink to impregnate you, say so. He is out there! If you want a slow, passionate breeding by a gentleman, say so. He has his fireplace going and is just waiting for you! If you want to be pushed up against the wall of a deserted warehouse, choked, and forced to take an anonymous load, say so. Your sadistic top is stroking his dick and dripping precum as we speak.

I used to (except on BBRTS) avoid saying that I fuck bare. Now that I say so openly (or use strong innuendo, in apps that censor bareback references), I am contacted by lots of other bareback pigs in my neighborhood, as well as good boys who are curious about the dark side.

One thing to avoid is negative statements in your profile. See if you can achieve the same result affirmatively, or just by screening. There is no need to put "no Asians", "Latinos to the front of the [proverbial] line", "Don't woof at me [on Growlr, an app. you should try]", "Don't say 'Sup?", or "Don't send nudes or cock pics". The psychological effect is like walking into a restaurant and seeing "Restroom for customers only" or "No checks accepted" on the door, instead of a welcome message or a glowing review reprint. If very specific criteria really matter, you can always respond "No thanks" after the fact.

Expect some rejections, and just move on to the next profile. The more people you contact, the more compatible ones you will find.

Edited July 10, 2015 by fskn

[tallbtm]

One thing to avoid is negative statements in your profile. See if you can achieve the same result affirmatively, or just by screening. There is no need to put "no Asians", "Latinos to the front of the [proverbial] line", "Don't woof at me [on Growlr, an app. you should try]", "Don't say 'Sup?", or "Don't send nudes or cock pics". The psychological effect is like walking into a restaurant and seeing "Restroom for customers only" or "No checks accepted" on the door, instead of a welcome message or a glowing review reprint. If very specific criteria really matter, you can always respond "No thanks" after the fact.

 

I completely agree, fskn. A profile littered with "don't"s is a real turn off.