RWHID Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 Anyone here deal with stalks of some sort? For the past two months I have been chatting with a guy who got my number from my CL ad. He was nice, he was there to talk to when my boyfriend kept treating me like shit, and finally dumping me. He wanted to hook up but was always scared to, wouldn't even send a pic... I was okay with that. I told him a few weeks ago I was going to another town to help my parents after my dad had surgerey, and he said his friend was diving down my road and needed directions... well I went out and this guy pulls up and asks for directions to the next town... litterally one road over... I knew it was him... he kept trying to get me to get in his truck so I could take him there, but I wouldn't. Later that night he admited it was him, but started going off on me, then pretended to be his wife... the next morning he says he is sorry and the wife was a lie. I am nice and kept talking to try and be a friend. He ends up with my ex's number and tells him he's going to report me for non discloser because I refused to hook up. I changed my number that night and when he realized that he finds my family's number and starts harrassing them the next day, so I ended up calling and texting to get him to stop so he got my new number. He again was sorry, I was cool and let it go. Last week I went walking - I walk at night instead of the day - he text me what streets I'm walking down and the clothes I'm wearing. I called him a creeper and boom he hit the fan. He calls me a few days later while my dad is over telling me he is going to kill me. He calls back and my dad gets on, and this guy says he has something for me when I go walking again. I went to police but they can't do anything since he has given me two different names and I don't know if either is real. All I know is what he drives. One of the officers got on my phone when he called and he went off on the officer calling him by his first name, which freaked the officer out. He said he would get to the bottom of it, but I doubt he can. I went walking two nights ago thinking the police thing would have scared him off, but he starts texting telling me to jump off the overpass and I ignore it, and he comes riding up like he nearly hits me while on the overpass, screams and takes off... Everyone tells me to not go out walking anymore, but I won't hide away and stop what I like to do because of him. I asked him many times to meet me face to face but he never shows. He even said he would meet me at the police station but again he never showed.
NLbear Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 Jeez man, this sounds like serious Sh*t! I am not American but I would keep in touch with the police, specically the officer he knew by name. Can't the police track him down by IP address or mobile phone location? Btw, why would your dad try to kill you? That doesn't sound very healthy too...
VersatileBreeder Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 This guy sounds like a total psychopath. I am shocked that the police say they can't do anything here. This day in age, with all the tracking technology, I find it odd that they can't find where he lives based on his phone number or IP address. Any names he has given you shouldn't matter. He sounds like a dangerous individual. I wouldn't play around with him. You have enough proof based on threatening phone calls, text messages, and his actions when you have seen him in person. Get a restraining order, tell him you aren't fucking around with him anymore, and that if he approaches you or makes contact with you again, his ass is going to jail. 5
cam1972 Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 Btw, why would your dad try to kill you? That doesn't sound very healthy too... The stalker told him that he was going to kill him while his dad was visiting. His dad doesn't want to kill him. I do agree with NLbear tho. Staying in touch with police is important. The good thing is they have first hand knowledge of what is happening. You know they believe you. 1
NLbear Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 @cam1972. yeah, I read that wrongly. Thanks.
757neg4poz Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 Go to your local courthouse and definitely file a restraining order against the person even if the police are uncooperative. If you can, get a lawyer to type a nice cease and desist order against the person and grease the wheels of the local police department. Is his phone number available on the caller ID? The police should be able to do a basic reverse lookup.
bbzh Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 This is pretty scary. I know you want to go out walking at night, but I really think you should stop doing this for a while - especially alone. You may feel like you don't want to give in, but if this guy is trying to physically hurt you with a moving vehicle, then your first priority should be avoiding that and him and not letting your ego get in the way. It's always been my experience that people who act aggressively towards others feed off the energy and attention the victim gives them. Just ignore him completely. Don't engage him in any way, shape or form. You cannot use logic and reason with people like this. When he no longer is getting what he wants from you - i.e. attention - he will probably move on. Please don't involve your recovering dad in this. Ask the police what evidence you need to build a case against this guy. The phone records your phone company could provide should be all the evidence you need to be honest. But please if you do nothing else, don't provoke him or threaten him or lose your temper. Just be cool, collect your evidence and when you have enough to make something stick, bring him to justice. For the record, I think your ex may be behind all of this. The guy who is harassing you seems to know things about you, your family and your habits that I am almost certain you didn't share with him. I find it hard to believe you would share such intimate details with someone who you had not met face to face. 4
RWHID Posted August 17, 2015 Author Report Posted August 17, 2015 The officer told me if he continued to go to the courthouse and file a restraining order, but can that be done since I don't even know if these names are real? I gave the officer all 3 numbers, but he said with phones today it's more than likely a throw away phone. I did offer the officer his email address, which I know was not randomly made for me, as I searched the email up and I found a post on Topix from 3 years ago in our town, so it's real. I did post on Topix and someone says that is his real name, he is from IL and works for the feds???
RWHID Posted August 17, 2015 Author Report Posted August 17, 2015 For the record, I think your ex may be behind all of this. The guy who is harassing you seems to know things about you, your family and your habits that I am almost certain you didn't share with him. I find it hard to believe you would share such intimate details with someone who you had not met face to face. You know, I thought this too, as this guy messaged me when my ex and I got into a fight, and he never texted when I was with my ex. I ended up taking my ex to see a movie one day and every time he went to the bathroom the guy would text, so it made it seem like it was the ex, and it caused a lot of fights between us. However, I have seen this guy face to face and it's not my ex. My ex also can't leave the county is he in at night, has no liences and can't drive, so there's no way he can be in another county following me around. Plus, the thing from two nights ago, I was on the phone with my ex when the nut job tried to run me off the road....
cam1972 Posted August 18, 2015 Report Posted August 18, 2015 You know, I thought this too, as this guy messaged me when my ex and I got into a fight, and he never texted when I was with my ex. I ended up taking my ex to see a movie one day and every time he went to the bathroom the guy would text, so it made it seem like it was the ex, and it caused a lot of fights between us. However, I have seen this guy face to face and it's not my ex. My ex also can't leave the county is he in at night, has no liences and can't drive, so there's no way he can be in another county following me around. Plus, the thing from two nights ago, I was on the phone with my ex when the nut job tried to run me off the road.... I don't believe he was meaning that your ex is the stalker but more that he is the one feeding your stalker the information and putting him up to this. I may be wrong, but I think that is what he meant. 1
RWHID Posted August 18, 2015 Author Report Posted August 18, 2015 I don't believe he was meaning that your ex is the stalker but more that he is the one feeding your stalker the information and putting him up to this. I may be wrong, but I think that is what he meant. I may have more info tomorrow. I just noticed a message the officer sent me through Facebook on Friday which was an hour after I talked to them. I haven't mentioned how he tried to run me off the road Saturday night yet.
757neg4poz Posted August 18, 2015 Report Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) The officer told me if he continued to go to the courthouse and file a restraining order, but can that be done since I don't even know if these names are real? I gave the officer all 3 numbers, but he said with phones today it's more than likely a throw away phone. I did offer the officer his email address, which I know was not randomly made for me, as I searched the email up and I found a post on Topix from 3 years ago in our town, so it's real. I did post on Topix and someone says that is his real name, he is from IL and works for the feds???No, you can't file a restraining order against an unknown person or a pseudonym. But hopefully the officer was able to deduce his real name so you can start the process. Did you write his license plate number? Edited August 18, 2015 by bethmygibbons
bbzh Posted August 18, 2015 Report Posted August 18, 2015 To be clear, I was not suggesting that your ex is the person stalking you. But your ex is behind this. Do yourself a favor and stop communicating with your ex as well. No texting, no phone calls, no nothing. Just a wall of silence. He is getting some type of sick pleasure terrorizing you this way. By talking to him, you are letting him know that his plan is working. Change your phone number (again). Stay off Craigslist for a while. And stop feeding into all this. It will go away. If the intention was to hurt you physically, I think it would have happened by now.That being said, don't leave yourself open to anything and don't escalate the situation with threats. 1
muscmtl Posted August 18, 2015 Report Posted August 18, 2015 I have had 2 stalkers over the years. A woman who called me everyday and showed up everywhere I was. Changing the phone number did nothing. Then about 9 months later she just disappeared. The other was a guy I said no to in a bar. He would show up at my workplace when I would leave or on my street or around my car but always too far for me to confront him. Police did nothing. I managed to catch the guy late around 3:00 a.m. one morning and beat the hell out of him and that's how I got rid of him. My advice, Be violent. Stalkers can't handle when their prey start fighting back 5
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