I Dont Know How To Be Gay

[tallslenderguy]

I'm 29, drive a Ducati Panigale and a F350 along with owning a lawn care/snow plowing company so your not the only one that doesn't know how to be gay lol. I'm also very masculine and have not once been hit on in a "normal" environment. One of my favorite things to do now is watching how people react when telling them I'm gay since no one knows if I'm serious or joking. 

Great point. People cannot tell just by looking at us that we are gay, and vice versa. With men and women, you have visual cues.

 

 I'm in a similar boat, people do not know I'm gay unless I tell them, especially since I was married most of my life. There was a time when being effeminate got you identified as "gay," but now we have metrosexual, so that doesn't work. Really effeminacy has never been a true indicator, but it's been used. 

 

In an ideal world, anyone could invite anyone out on a date without fear.

[rtpbbcub]

The word no one seems to be saying is rejection. It's what it all boils down to, fear of rejection. You can dress it up a hundred different ways, but that's what it is. And that's what you have to find a way past. And it's the same thing for guys who do great at relationships but can't get laid in a boathouse because they won't go in. Or who don't have sex or date because they won't even put themselves out there.

We all have comfort zones, we all have discomfort zones. And it's because ascribe different values to different types of rejection. Guy online doesn't reply, what do you do? Guy in a bar doesn't give you his number, what do you do? It's all the same thing, but we think of it in different terms. We have expectations of what's going to happen next, what want to happen next, and what might happen next.

And there's a tool for that called flooding. Take the situation that you are afraid of rejection in, and push through it by asking for things gradually until you get comfortable with the thing you are afraid of being rejected for. Make it a game. Try to get rejected. Because 99% of people are actually cool. Even when they are not interested. And you eventually learn that you have made yourself afraid of something that most likely wouldn't happen.

[Guest FinalDL2021]

On ‎3‎/‎6‎/‎2016 at 12:25 PM, gaynevets said:

I don't know how to be gay. I mean, I'm really good at gay sex and have had many, many partners; I love being a submissive bottom cum slut and I love everything about being with another man.

But, I grew up "straight". I'm 50, now. My gaydar works OK, I can usually spot a gay man but I am clueless how to approach one, clueless on how to make myself approachable, clueless on how to initiate flirting with another man.

I'm not shy. At sex parties, bath houses, book stores and such I'm not afraid to put myself out there for hookups and fucking and I've got several regulars" I've met on gay hookup sites that I can count on for a good time.

But I don't know how to approach men I think are gay, outside of those venues.

Any advice?

I could have written this myself, it seems. I feel the same way. I guess those are some misconceptions about being gay. Although I have accepting being gay, and have decided to live the lifestyle, I don't feel any different than I have in the past, I am just getting fucked / fucking guys instead of women.