Dom/sub relationships

[tallslenderguy]

I see this topic touched on a lot here, but don't recall seeing a dedicated thread? So, here goes for those interested.

In addition to being wired 'bottom,' I also am wired 'sub.' I have found that means something different to everyone, just like "Top" and "Dom" are defined by the individual. There are general similarities, but the definitions can get complex and individual, so I am looking forward to reading the individual attributes from guys on both sides of the fence.

I'll start it off. I recently spent a weekend with a Dom/top guy who picked me up while I was on vacation. I was at a clothing optional gay resort and he saw me sitting on a lounge chair (i had a swimsuit on). I saw him put his shorts on before he approached me. He came over and sat on the lounge next to me and struck up a conversation. He was nice, but the talk was vanilla. He got up to leave and I pointed at the bulge in his shorts and asked: "can I have some of that."  He moved in and I pulled his cock out and took it into my mouth. He had at least 8" and it was fat!. I'm not a size person at all, but the size is pertinent to the story lol.  As soon as I took his cock into my mouth, he grabbed my head to control it and push deeper into my mouth.  I looked up at him and he said "I'm not much of a public person," so I invited him back to my room. I wanted to be bred. 

On the walk to the room I mentioned that he had "Dom overtones," and he just feigned innocence or ignorance and didn't reply. Back in the room, he removed his clothes and sat back on my bed, leaning against the head board and asked me to strip and lie on my stomach, face between his legs. So began my experience with learning to take his cock. He was patient and subtle, but assertive and persistent in wanting me to take him as he wanted. He pushed me to take it deeper and hold it longer, coaching me to "take it all" or "get it past that curve."  When I would get it deeper or hold him in my throat longer, or gag, he would practically gush: "good boy."  Which made me feel both humiliated, embarrassed and proud at the same time.  

He kept at it (we did this for hours with small breaks) adding components. He would add all the stuff together, having me take him deep, not be able to breath and gag then he'd ask me to look into his eyes. That's not all that easy to do all of that in that position, but I found myself trying hard, and succeeding and starting to feel more proud the more he praised me. Forcing his cock into my throat was bringing tears to my eyes, and he obviously like the kind of pleading, tearful look in my eyes.  

He also got off on asking me questions when my mouth was full of his cock and I couldn't really answer, like a dentist asking you questions while he has a drill in your mouth lol. He didn't seem to care or notice my mouth was full of cock, he'd persist until i answered, garbled and unintelligible, my mouth full of cock. 

At the end of the day, I found myself full of deep adoration for this guy and craving to please him. Wow. There's a voice in my mind that says I have been totally played and manipulated, but instead of resenting it, I love it and crave more.

[Guest KptNLine]

I think you're asking what specifically a person might think about when identifying themselves as "sub" or "Dom." For me, being submissive is putting the needs and sexual pleasure of a Man above my own. My journey has incorporated a lot of chastity and orgasm denial. What I think people don't understand is that being submissive isn't about being hurt, abused or mistreated. For me, it has meant giving over control of my sexuality and my ability to achieve orgasm to a Man (my husband). It is such an intimate act, surrendering what essentially makes you a male to another Man, specifically the ability to achieve an erection and to ejaculate. What makes my husband a Dom is his ability to maintain that discipline in our relationship, knowing how far he can push me and continuing to challenge me in that way. I experience intense pleasure when we have sex, though not in the traditional way you might associate with a male. It's that loss of control and surrendering to someone you completely trust that defines the sub/Dom dynamic for me.

[tallslenderguy]

11 hours ago, KptNLine said:

I think you're asking what specifically a person might think about when identifying themselves as "sub" or "Dom." For me, being submissive is putting the needs and sexual pleasure of a Man above my own. My journey has incorporated a lot of chastity and orgasm denial. What I think people don't understand is that being submissive isn't about being hurt, abused or mistreated. For me, it has meant giving over control of my sexuality and my ability to achieve orgasm to a Man (my husband). It is such an intimate act, surrendering what essentially makes you a male to another Man, specifically the ability to achieve an erection and to ejaculate. What makes my husband a Dom is his ability to maintain that discipline in our relationship, knowing how far he can push me and continuing to challenge me in that way. I experience intense pleasure when we have sex, though not in the traditional way you might associate with a male. It's that loss of control and surrendering to someone you completely trust that defines the sub/Dom dynamic for me.

Yes, this is so well put Kptinline, thank you for sharing some of your experiences. When I look back on my marriage to a woman I realize that I was still sub, but from a top position, which was a weird dynamic, but it's like I found  a way of coping for me while living in a prison of sorts. 

[Guest bbbearlover1]

It took me a long time to understand, and then embrace, my feelings of dominance.  I love control.  I love guiding others.  I love having my way be the accepted way.  Though I am a Dom, I also see myself as a Daddy.  That desire to teach/guide is so strong.  I respect the gift that subs have to offer, and I see it as my responsibility to honor that gift by helping subs become the best subs they can be for my purposes.  Through that reciprocal respect, we can push to the limits of a Dom/sub relationship and grow together.  And don't make the mistake in thinking that I am some teddy bear.  I am a romantic, BUT, I LOVE training subs, putting them through their paces, even if it doesn't work out in the end.  I think too many people have this caricature of Doms and subs in the minds, and that doesn't help.  All Doms aren't sadists; all subs aren't masochists.  It's all about communication, and making sure that you can find those who can maximize what you need. Just knowing that he knows meeting my needs is his primary purpose is incredible. I LOVE being a Dom Daddy.  And if a sub's pussy is twitching by the end of this, then he knows he's come across a Dom who speaks to him. 

[Fistcumslut]

4 hours ago, bbbearlover1 said:

 I think too many people have this caricature of Doms and subs in the minds, and that doesn't help.  All Doms aren't sadists; all subs aren't masochists.  It's all about communication, and making sure that you can find those who can maximize what you need. Just knowing that he knows meeting my needs is his primary purpose is incredible. I LOVE being a Dom Daddy.  And if a sub's pussy is twitching by the end of this, then he knows he's come across a Dom who speaks to him. 

I totally agree with you Daddy, I never considered myself a slave but I think your definition of bottom and sub will suit well to me.

A Dom should be, as You say, a protective Daddy, a Teacher, a Memtor and show to the sub his right place in the family and outside in the world. The sub will show respect and devotion to his Dom and please Him in any possible way... and even more.

No threats, no constrictions, no punishments are necessary, the sub recognize his Dom and he know he simply HAVE to serve Him and he will be rewarded... his boy pussy will never be empty anymore.

[Fistcumslut]

IMHO Dom/sub relationship is the most ancient and the most natural form of relationships, born even before the first man was born. Any social group: Family, friends, community, society, government has a Dom and one or more subs regardless the sex or sexual role/behaviours. If more Doms live in the same group the will fight for the supremacy or the group will be shattered in parts. Anyone when enter in a new group instinctively know who is the Alpha, It's natural and right.

About myself I'm a male and proud to be, with my 8" cock I like to please someone with a good fuck I also an experienced fister but I know my role, I 'm mainly a gay bottom sub eager to please others, socially I'm a well educated good boy, good instructions and behaviours, proud of myself but fundamentally I'm a sub and hell yes proud to be a sub. Since I'm into FF I don't mind about my own cock, and most of the times I don't even cum after a sex session indeed if chems are involved I don't even get hard. After years I realized and accepted that my sexuality is focused on my ass letting Doms to use it as They like for Their pleasure, letting Them to call it hungry hole, boy pussy or white boy pussy. Be in the someone's hands who take care of you and serving Him sharing all the pleasures of a life in common is above any imagination. Anyone should know and accept his role, no frustrations and no regrets are the rewards.

Edited June 27, 2017 by Fistcumslut

[fucknfeedme]

I know I will not be truly happy until I find the right Dom/ sub relationship. I am a total alpha go getter and hugely successful in my profession. But I know I want to be led by a true Dom. 

BBRT- fucknfeedme 

[Guest FinalDL2021]

Yes...,,,it's called MARRIAGE.........LOL