Cautious barebackers: How do you stay "safe"?

[Guest]

dud I had the same post when i came here ages ago...

Trust me, unless you go on prep there is no way to be 100% safe...

In my case I just gave in...

[hungry_hole]

 

On 9/3/2017 at 8:22 AM, bbicurious said:

How are you preventing those STIs?

bbicurious, the initial poster, is concerned about all STI, not just HIV.

11 hours ago, TagBoy87 said:

Trust me, unless you go on prep there is no way to be 100% safe...

In my case I just gave in...

PrEP protects only against HIV. The only strategy that I know and use that can help with other STI is safestsex.org. Unfortunately not enough people are members and don't know about this site.

They have an interesting concept that is based on Mutual Monogamy, recommended by CDC, as they explain in their site. The claim they make is that members can achieve a risk level close to monogamy. So in theory, members can have all the anonymous sex with a very low risk. It's an interesting concept that I really like. I will now be combining my safestsex.org membership with PrEP for a few months because I will be going on a sex vacation. At least now I know when my latest test were performed because they are recorded in safestsex.org.

As a member I could ask sexual partners to have their test results validated by the clinic. But to do this I have to first validate by results with my clinic. So far I haven't been able to convince my clinic to partner with safestsex.org because, erroneously they think that they need to disclose my test results. I've tried to explain it to them but clinic are too paranoid with confidentiality.

 

[FFun2BB]

On 13/11/2017 at 12:05 AM, ErosWired said:

Your questions all hinge on what you mean when you use terms like "unnecessary risk", "play safe", and "healthy". You have to ask yourself, for yourself, at what point any risk is "necessary" for you to feel sexually fulfilled. Is barebacking absolutely a necessity to you, or could you live without it? The answer to  that question comes first. If the answer is no, you couldn't, then you have to look at what you mean by "safe". Barebacking is not safe in the meaning of "risk-free". It cannot be made entirely safe. There are inherent risks that can be significantly reduced, but never completely eliminated. And like any gamble, each time you spin the wheel, you take a chance.

But it's not the same chance every time. The chance you take is cumulative. For instance, if you're a neg bottom with a poz top not on meds, your base chance of getting HIV (I know you're asking about all STDs, but I'm using HIV for the math here) your base chance of getting the virus is 1.43%, or about 1 in 143 loads. Does that mean that if you take 143 loads you have 100% chance of getting HIV? No. You could, as seaguy says, be one of the lucky ones. But your chance doesn't remain 1.43%, either. If you take 143 loads, your risk will have amounted to the inverse of your chance of coming away clean (98.57%) multiplied by itself by the number of attempts (143), or about 12.8%, meaning you will have a 100%-12.8%=87.2% chance of getting the disease with a 1.43% risk.

If you're a neg top with a poz bottom and you're cut, your chance is about 63% in 909 fucks. Uncut, it's about 63% in 161 fucks.

According to CDC and other studies within the last five years, the risk of transmission over ten years of sex for a committed male couple unprotected came to nearly 100%. If they used PreP alone, their risk came to 98%. If they were committed to condom use, their risk was 76%. If they were using ART, their risk was 25%. Note that these numbers are based on specific approaches to prevention, and aren't necessarily translatable to other STDs, but if you know the general statistical chance of getting an STD from a single type of encounter, the math is sound.

The point is, there is no "safe". There are only shades of risk, and the more you play, the greater your risk grows. But if you weren't going to play the game, you wouldn't be here, right? So now you have to look at what you mean by "healthy".

I was not one of the lucky ones. I not only got HIV, my tests came back false negative until mine turned into AIDS, dragged my cell count to 49, and a fun combo of pneumonia and fungal meningitis nearly killed me. That was followed by a case of shingles and a case of mulloscum that would not go away for months, chronic fatigue, dietary change, ART-induced diabetes, and changes in my metabolism. I'm now at risk for cancers that I wasn't at risk of before. I haven't missed a single dose - not one dose - of ART since I started it in September of 2014, and my cell count still hasn't topped 320. Unless science steps up to the plate sometime soon, I will be taking these pills for the rest of my life (which I could not afford without the company's assistance) and my life expectancy has dropped to about 75 years.

I'm not sick, in the sense that I feel well and I haven't had a cold or the flu or anything like that in three years, but I have to be careful. There are some things I simply can't take the risk of eating. I know that my body simply does not have the moxie to fight off a major infection, and if I get one, that could be it for me. So there's healthy, and then there's "healthy". That's the possible price tag, my man. Nobody can tell you but yourself whether that kind of life, and those kinds of sacrifices are a price you're willing to pay for the experiences you want. And even if you take care with HIV, there are still monsters out there, like HEP C and treatment-resistant gonorrhea that are no joke, and even herpes is incurable.

You wanted to know what's realistic - that's real. It's the real I live in. But I don't live with regret for what I chose to do, and I don't harbor any hard feelings for whoever pozzed me, even though I certainly didn't want it. Chances are he didn't even know. I just hope he discovered his status soon enough to get treated. And I hope you take care.

 

ErosWired.....THANK YOU !!!!

Not only in giving such a brilliant answer to this topic, but also sharing your account of your own experience/ showing the REAL effect it can have!!!

How can any Barebacker truly talk about "SAFE" ...

YES, we can have ourselves tested on a regular basis ... so we know what is going on in our bodies BUT this I would call MAINTENANCE ....not SAFE ...

and I truly smile, when I read/hear comments like ATHLETIC PEOPLE look after themselves better = safe...     REALLY? !!!

so many men/friends I know who are positive have the most amazing bodies... they work out much more since being told that they are positive... they look better than ever before.

 

If someone really wants safe ... stay at home and use your hands! 

[orionboy1]

PrEP everyday, I use one of those granny type weekly pill dispensers with my truvada, vitamins and pure supplements and I have a reminder alarm on my phone.

Also am vaccinated for HPV, Hep A and Hep B.

As far as being selective about guys I let breed me or young twinks that make my dick jump. I look for a few things, first off is drug use. Im not a square, I like my wine, 420 and poppers. However if they are into Tina or other heavy stuff, I tend to stay away. 

I also prefer having repeat playmates so I dont have to find a new random dick  everytime my boypussy aches for a load. 

Do I know there is other bad stuff out there? Of course! But that isnt going to stop me from barebacking. So I take as many steps as I can to lower the risk.