Advice on Sex Sites/Apps?

[raunchycumslut]

So I’ve been cruising Grindr and other sites/apps off and on for over a decade. I’be seen apps go from sex-focused to Facebook/Social media type bullshit. I’ve put up with flakes and game players and guys lying about their stats, all that shit comes with the territory. I’ve lived in several states and have traveled, and I know some places are just crappy for trying to find a hookup, not a newbie to this.

My current issue is that lately, I have a LOT of guys hitting me up for a face pic (sometimes after chatting, sometimes right away). When I send the pic, they never respond, or block me/delete their profile. I’m a decent looking guy don’t claim to be a 10, but like 7ish maybe 8ish (higher or lower depends on the day). I know I’m not fugly because to be blunt, I have done escort work in the past, get cruised IRL plenty, had a bar try to recruit me as a dancer, etc.

I’ve grown accustomed to pic collectors and guys who get off on trolling/rejecting other people or making snarky comments, and I’ve had this happen before but lately it has become the norm for me when I try to cruise hookup sites/apps.

Anyone else have this issue? Also, any advice on hookup apps or sites for a cocksucker/bareback bottom in the SF Bay Area (already know Grindr, A4A, BBRT, Recon, Daddyhunt, Squirt; none seem to be worth it these days).

[Guest BBBoyfromTN]

So much info left off, like how old you are, what you're looking for sexually (from you SN I presume you want to bottom), and what type of guys are messaging you (younger, older, white, Latino, bear, twink, etc.). Let me be blunt, there's a LOT of guys out there wanting to bottom so tops can be, and usually are, picky. If for some reason you don't harden that wood you're not going to get follow up. I'm probably in the same looks category as what you say sounds like me. I just make damn sure the face pic I send is catching my best look, that I'm smiling, and look genuinely happy. Even then that's not always gonna get results. I shrug it off. I do a lot of old school cruising too like parks and bathrooms. Guys are there because they want release and aren't so picky. I pick up guys in bars too. I initiate the contact too. That's the problem with apps and online as too often it's passive. You're waiting. I don't like to wait. I don't like lurkers, stalkers, and pic collectors...that's why I set a time limit to be online and if nothing happens I'm like a shark and move on.

[bbinbpark]

The struggle is real, pretty much everything that BBBoy said is right. I find my cruising online/app skills always are stronger than in real life, mainly because when I was discovering who I am sexually was probably the peak of sites like gay.com, men4men4sex, and manhunt being the places to go. I'm also a very shy person when it comes to meeting new people, so the bars were not a good option for me. In my city if I couldn't get a guy to fuck etc. in 15-30 minutes on a site it was slow. These days I have better luck in the bars, our out in cruisy areas because I've had to learn to adapt if I want to get off.  

Apps are convenient, but if you don't change your pics out, and make sure they're the best you have you're wasting your time. I sign on to adam and see a few guys in my area that have not changed their pics in at least 10 years. One hit me up the other day and I didn't respond because I know he's used the same pic since I've lived in my place. The other issue I find with apps is that depending on the guy and even the day the approach matters. It's hard to tell if the guy you're hitting on wants you to say "let's fuck", send a face/dirty pic, or even just say hi/what's up etc. first in order for them to be interested. 

Don't give in, just keep mixing it up, whether its changing apps/sites, or making sure you're looking in real life too.    

[barecubtop]

I agree with the advice of mixing it up.  I live in a university town where younger guys will hit me up on Grindr because they see I'm a top, but when we get to trading pics they will either disappear or block me.  I also have some people say that my cock looks thick/large and others that claim that's its' "too small" for them (same pic I'm showing in my profile here).  So it's a toss-up as to whether my profile will appeal to a given guy or not.  I've also tried to mix up the "approach with small chat" vs "approach by sending cock pic or asking if they're a bottom right off the bat".  I've gotten plenty of guys that call me rude for being too forward, but plenty of others who will be just as direct with me sometimes.  I've found that mixing up my profile by changing pics and info every so often has helped me figure out what works best.  Right now, I have very limited info on my profile other than the fact that I'm a top with the pig and devil emojis...and my pic is a landscape pic other than my body.  Lately, this profile has gotten me some attention.  More attention, say, than when I had a face pic on with more information about me.  So, I'll keep experimenting and see what pics tend to go over well and which ones don't, etc...

Bottom-line: the apps can be very frustrating and screw with us mentally in terms of the rejection and wondering about what's going on at the other end of the convo, etc... But, for some of us, there aren't very many other options (no bars or bathhouses or anything like that where I live, for example). 

[Guest Upstateguy518]

I am always swapping out which apps I use because they're so inconsistent. Grindr is the worst because there's so many pic collectors or guys who just talk it up but nevere really meet. 

[hungry_hole]

On 4/4/2018 at 4:01 PM, raunchycumslut said:

My current issue is that lately, I have a LOT of guys hitting me up for a face pic (sometimes after chatting, sometimes right away). When I send the pic, they never respond, ...

If I'm cruising online I'm looking not only for sex and loads but specifically for anonymous loads. I'm never looking for a friend or someone to have a coffee with. So I usually make it very clear in my profiles by saying that I'm not interested in  exchanging face pics because I like sex to be anonymous as possible: "If you want to send me a picture send me a picture of your cock, not of your face". That way then my refusal to exchange face pictures looks less of a need to hide something and more of a wanting sex to be anonymous. I don't even ask about age.

16 hours ago, barecubtop said:

... I live in a university town where younger guys will hit me up on Grindr because they see I'm a top, but when we get to trading pics they will either disappear or block me. 

As a top you should be able to get away with hooking up with bottoms without sending a face pic, just your cock.

16 hours ago, barecubtop said:

the apps can be very frustrating and screw with us mentally in terms of the rejection ...

Again, as a top you should not find yourself in this situation.

[barecubtop]

On 4/28/2018 at 3:43 PM, hungry_hole said:

As a top you should ...

I'd like to assume you meant this in a good way, but I first read it as a slam.  The reality is that the cum-craving sex-addicted bottoms on this site that will essentially let any dick fuck them are still a relative minority, especially in certain rural areas like where I live.  So, while my dick pic may be all that is necessary for some bottoms on here and some bottoms on BBRTS (I've been rejected there for unlocking non-dick pics also), it is not enough in general. 

And the mental health issues related to Grindr have been popping up in research and blog articles...

https://www.advocate.com/current-issue/2016/5/05/grindr-tinder-scruff-recipe-loneliness

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/4/4/17177058/grindr-gay-men-mental-health-psychiatrist

https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2018/04/18/does-grindr-affect-mental-health-dating-apps-and-mental-health/

[Guest Dickmagnet]

I HAVE BEEN HERE & DONE ALMOST ALL WHAT IS MENTIONED - NOW I JUST MAKE IT CLEAR DON'T ASK FOR A FACE PIC Because you won't get it. Honestly i like my sex as anonymous as i can get it so i'm totally not interested in a guys looks. His cock is what i want not there to marry them & trolls know how to fuck too. Like a good friend told me several decades ago is : Dumb fucks good too. Maybe i have taken it to heart but i have come to realise that dumb, stupid & ugly fucks a lot better then some pretty boy twat getting off on the mirror.

[bihairy]

On 4/4/2018 at 4:01 PM, raunchycumslut said:

So I’ve been cruising Grindr and other sites/apps off and on for over a decade. I’be seen apps go from sex-focused to Facebook/Social media type bullshit. I’ve put up with flakes and game players and guys lying about their stats, all that shit comes with the territory. I’ve lived in several states and have traveled, and I know some places are just crappy for trying to find a hookup, not a newbie to this.

My current issue is that lately, I have a LOT of guys hitting me up for a face pic (sometimes after chatting, sometimes right away). When I send the pic, they never respond, or block me/delete their profile. I’m a decent looking guy don’t claim to be a 10, but like 7ish maybe 8ish (higher or lower depends on the day). I know I’m not fugly because to be blunt, I have done escort work in the past, get cruised IRL plenty, had a bar try to recruit me as a dancer, etc.

I’ve grown accustomed to pic collectors and guys who get off on trolling/rejecting other people or making snarky comments, and I’ve had this happen before but lately it has become the norm for me when I try to cruise hookup sites/apps.

Anyone else have this issue? Also, any advice on hookup apps or sites for a cocksucker/bareback bottom in the SF Bay Area (already know Grindr, A4A, BBRT, Recon, Daddyhunt, Squirt; none seem to be worth it these days).

I ask them to send me a pic first. If they do that then I assume they are somewhat serious. I will send them a pic. If they block me or stop chatting I know that they are not interested and I move on. Its like going shopping. You check out the fruit and pick the one you want. Not everyone wants to have sex with me but many do and that is what matters. I try and not take these sites so seriously.  There are so many reasons that someone can't fuck right this minute.  On the other hand, I've met some nice guys and we've fucked our brains out and a couple of them become fuck buds.