Once you Realize your Positive

[Guest FinalDL2021]

What are your experiences once your realize your a HIV Positive?

the day you get your test results, POSITIVE! 

That emotional feeling?

whether or not to tell your primary physician?

when do you decide to go on meds?

How do you tell your family?

 

 

[Dalslambtm]

in the back of my mind i knew,I had been sick off and on for a while. It hit me really hard because i have been married for 32 years, with 2 great kids. I cant tell them,  my wife would leave me my kids would freak. 

[Guest JackEdJIZZ]

I was on PrEP for some time and stopped.  No doubt was certain I would eventually convert.   Night sweats were my first indication of being infected.    Tested POZ a couple days later.

i have been open about status.   Family knows. Social group knows.  All medical folks know.   Always disclose in one on one sex sessions.  Let my POZ tats tell the story in most group/anon sessions

have not had any real issues at all.  But then, I was prepared for this likelyhood. 

I do make certain no “innocents” are at risk due to my choices.  But keep in mind, guys who have anon sex without protection are NOT innocent.    

[Guest]

I was devastated. I wasn’t even barebacking at the time so it was a complete shock. 

My primary physician is who told me. He is gay and is also an HIV specialist so it made things somewhat easier. 

I had bee poz for years without knowing it so I wound up going on meds right away. I was lucky that while my Initial CD4 and VL were horrible I had never gotten sick. Been on meds for 15 years.

I’ve never told family or friends—just fuck partners and medical providers. Disclosure is tricky.  Once it’s out there it can never be taken back.  Best pieces of advice my doctor gave me was to be careful about disclosing and not to panic.  I’m healthy and horny all these years later:

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest FinalDL2021]

Thanks for all your feed-back,  Just tested HIV negative after knowingly taking my first viral load, mixed feelings.  I feel  I am getting to where I am no longer going to chase. Yet at the same time, I am not going take measures to stay NEG either, such as prep, or god forbid condoms; I am going to put myself at the mercy of nature. Meanwhile, I would like to enjoy the freedom of bareback sex

[Guest]

4 hours ago, BiAthlete4You said:

Thanks for all your feed-back,  Just tested HIV negative after knowingly taking my first viral load, mixed feelings.  I feel  I am getting to where I am no longer going to chase. Yet at the same time, I am not going take measures to stay NEG either, such as prep, or god forbid condoms; I am going to put myself at the mercy of nature. Meanwhile, I would like to enjoy the freedom of bareback sex

Seems the situation that most of us have gone through. I completely opened up and began taking any and all that wanted to fuck back at the beginning of 2016 with no questions asked, really figured I'd get pozzed right away from the strangers and by anonymous at the baths or ABS, but tested neg back in Oct/Nov of this last year. I didn't have any encounters during Dec, due to the holidays and other things getting in the way. The first week in Jan, i hooked up with an old partner from a couple of years back and he began using me again. At the end of jan and the first week of Feb, I began having sweats and the onset of flu with aches and pains of the joints and muscles. I still haven't tested yet to be 100% sure, but all the signs are there that he stealth pozzed me. I haven't confirmed it from him yet either, but I'm sure it's a done deal.  Am going to do a in home test first, but am not going to go to any of the local clinics fro testing if the in home does indicate poz, as I have a lot of friends and relation working in the medical fields near my location. Am not going to tell them or take the chance until absolutely necessary.

[wood]

On 4/16/2019 at 8:26 AM, ballerva said:

I was devastated. I wasn’t even barebacking at the time so it was a complete shock. 

My primary physician is who told me. He is gay and is also an HIV specialist so it made things somewhat easier. 

I had bee poz for years without knowing it so I wound up going on meds right away. I was lucky that while my Initial CD4 and VL were horrible I had never gotten sick. Been on meds for 15 years.

I’ve never told family or friends—just fuck partners and medical providers. Disclosure is tricky.  Once it’s out there it can never be taken back.  Best pieces of advice my doctor gave me was to be careful about disclosing and not to panic.  I’m healthy and horny all these years later:

I think this is where guys that chase might have their moment. Once it’s done, it’s over. Sure you can celebrate it but that same thrill will never be there again. 

Disclosure is something that I’ve very much changed my mind on. I used to always think that if you were hiv+ you should disclose. Now if you’re undetectable I’d says it’s your business. With that said the law might still disagree depending on your location. 

[Guest FinalDL2021]

On ‎4‎/‎15‎/‎2019 at 7:29 PM, Dalslambtm said:

in the back of my mind i knew,I had been sick off and on for a while. It hit me really hard because i have been married for 32 years, with 2 great kids. I cant tell them,  my wife would leave me my kids would freak. 

Wow, I am sorry to hear that. Your situation sounds a little like mine.  I have been married for 10 years, knew my wife for 17 years total, we have one daughter. Although I am separated, we have an agreement. My wife feels my bisexuality is a phase, and that I will be over it, eventually.   I don't really define myself as a cum-slut. In real-time, I occasionally go to bath houses. I have 3 fuck buds, that I see regularly (two of them are undetectable). The Riskiest thing I have done, is attend 2 communion parties.  So far, I am still HIV neg.

[Guest cardoc49]

On 4/15/2019 at 10:26 PM, BiAthlete4You said:

What are your experiences once your realize your a HIV Positive?

the day you get your test results, POSITIVE! 

That emotional feeling?

whether or not to tell your primary physician?

when do you decide to go on meds?

How do you tell your family?

 

 

Hi BiAthlete: thanks for posting this topic which surely is very courageous and very personal and honest.

When I tested positive I felt like the earth ended  - back in early 1980's - but very very fast I knew I secretly had been wanting it since I deliberately ignored all safe-sex-campaigns and advice from best and close friends: I WANTED BAREBACK ONLY! - so a very mixed and very strong emotional feeling indeed

here in DK for me its very important that I share with as many people as possible: I HAVE NOTHING to hide - on the contrary: IM SO POZnPROUD! so my colleagues know for a lot of years , I always tell my bosses

I started on meds more than 20 ys ago - doc's order which I at that time didnt question - but luckily in 2017 I managed to stop my meds

and all my family know

[Guest FinalDL2021]

Wow, I can now answer my own post. Its strange that I am not freaking-out like I thought I would be, if this happened to me 30 years ago. The best description that comes to mind, is when my new car got stolen, right out of my driveway, Aside from the anger, there was  this weird feeling of disbelief, like this didn't really happen, yet it did, and it takes awhile for your mind, to catch up to the new reality 

[evilqueerpig]

When my ex called out of the blue and told me he was poz and I should get tested.  I've NEVER had a condom on/in me so I wasn't surprised that my results were full blown.  About an hour later, I fucked my first chaser and when he got the fuckflu, he called me to let me know and also he wanted a 'topoff'!

[SmoothATLVers]

On 9/18/2020 at 11:45 PM, POZ-2020 said:

Wow, I can now answer my own post. Its strange that I am not freaking-out like I thought I would be, if this happened to me 30 years ago. The best description that comes to mind, is when my new car got stolen, right out of my driveway, Aside from the anger, there was  this weird feeling of disbelief, like this didn't really happen, yet it did, and it takes awhile for your mind, to catch up to the new reality 

So I guess you can take the "bi" off your profile 😉

[Jessyboy]

I have been on PrEP since I was 15 and stop last March. I’m still negative but started cruising in the parks taking loads again. I’m on the fence of going back on PrEP. 

[C10H15N]

Neg on PrEP - I take a pill everyday. If I stop nothing happens.

Poz - I take a pill or two every day. If I stop I probably get sick and die.

Since I don't fetishize HIV / converting, the choice is easy. I've lived with the possibility my entire adult life.

Edited October 2, 2020 by C10H15N

[Guest]

On 4/15/2019 at 8:29 PM, Dalslambtm said:

in the back of my mind i knew,I had been sick off and on for a while. It hit me really hard because i have been married for 32 years, with 2 great kids. I cant tell them,  my wife would leave me my kids would freak. 

So what did you do? How did you tell them and what was the outcome?