Gayness: is it love or sex?

[tallslenderguy]

On 7/7/2019 at 5:17 AM, hungry_hole said:

I find it ridiculous when gayness is defined, mainly by women, as the freedom to love whoever you want. Love? Isn't sex what men want?

Confronted with two options, what would gay men choose?

1. Laws that give total protection to LGBT and discrimination ends completely in society and men can freely love other men
2. All STDs, including HIV,  Hep-C, etc, become a thing of the past either with vaccines or cures, and men can freely fuck each other

I would obviously choose #2

 

3 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

The question was simple, if you were to choose between the (1) freedom to love men from an accepting society or (2) freely fuck with men because there are no STDs. I thought the answer was going to corroborate what I see in the posts in this site and in Grindr, Manhunt, BarebackRT, etc, SEX.

A young guy once told me that he asked a girl if she wanted to take a look at a gay cruising park. The naive woman thought that these parks were places where men go to hold hands and watch the sunset together. She had trouble understanding why guys would arrive in a car alone and disappear into the bushes and was shocked when she learned that the men were there for sex.

I'm not saying that men are unable to love but what I'm saying is that the glue is SEX and if something else happens, then fine but sex is first. I've never heard of an App dedicated to men in love.

Society may be delusional about men being sex machines and pretending all we want is be able to "love" (what a joke!)  but I don't understand why guys in this site are so reluctant to admit that sex is the main motivation, and the only motivation for many men.

i tried answering this, earlier. i trip over the question because it seems to binary to me. For example, i answered how the Greeks use the word eros to describe sex and we translate the word as "love."  Even western civilization has a term that connects the two: "making love."  Which is to suggest that sex is a form of love.

 i don't think the question is as "simple" as you are trying to make it?  Which is not intended as a criticism. i think i get at least a point you are trying to make, the cultural imperative to associate sex with more than a hook up relationship?  i don't think it's as simple as "men being sex machines."  i have a really good quality sex machine, and i rarely use it.  Sex is more than mechanical and i think it's more than physical, though i don't think we are always in touch with or aware of the emotional and mental reasons we have sex. 

i freely fuck with men with little to no thought about STD's when i am doing so because i love men, not just sex.  i can have sex with a machine, and it  might do a better job, but i'm not just a sex machine, so i'm not satisfied by sex with a machine.  Society may make sex harder to do through stigma, but it doesn't alter my need or drive, it just makes it harder to realize. 

[Guest FinalDL2021]

My experiences are becoming more interesting and revealing to me. I moved out here to the San Francisco Bay Area, ready to embrace a new gay lifestyle.  I am finding out, that it is not going to be the gay utopia that I thought it was going to be. Meanwhile, I met this women on my run club, I was not even looking. We become friends, and still are, for the time being, yet I think its going to get more serious. Right away, it was like someone hitting a switch, and I was no longer thinking about the gay lifestyle I had planned on.

I have come realize that I still get turned on by being a submissive Bottom, and taking loads. I am still hitting the bathhouse on occasion. Yet its just for the one particular experience of bottoming. I consider myself Bisexual for the sake of arguments, Yet I find that given my orientation, I seem to always flip back to a predominately straight lifestyle.

[Guest]

If your gay, it can be love and sex, if your in that no-mans-land, on the Kinsey scale, its often-times sex. 

What I refer to, as my gay sexuality, is 100% about sex; I just have never been emotionally connected to men, the way I am with women. 

[NastyRawBottom]

When I refer to myself as “gay” I usually mean in regards to a romantic preference. I’m seldom looking for a romantic partner so it’s pretty rare that I use the word ‘gay’ altogether. Most people just use it on my behalf.

When I’m explicitly referencing my sexual preference I call myself a ‘faggot’. It means, I only wants to have sex with Men, and only gets sexual pleasure from cocks and all that is Masculine. It’s very useful when I talk to guys cause they know what to expect, if they can’t tell already. haha. 

I find that a lot Men don’t like to call themselves ‘gay.’ It’s not always immediately due to internalized homophobia, but rather because that word has been soften over the years. A lot of heterosexuals assume that all gay men want is a boyfriend/ husband when that isn’t the case. Some guys don’t want to emulate the traditional family lifestyle and they just want to fuck holes. Which is totally okay. I’m not sure if there is a word to identify that sentiment yet, not that there has to be. 

[BootmanLA]

1 hour ago, RawBottomAriel said:

Some guys don’t want to emulate the traditional family lifestyle and they just want to fuck holes. Which is totally okay. I’m not sure if there is a word to identify that sentiment yet, not that there has to be. 

I think the word you are looking for is "manwhore".