I need some of your thoughts and insights

[NastyBrazilian]

My name is Bruno and I want to share some story of my last sex club experience, I'm open for every single opinion I might receive here.
Yesterday, a couple hours ago actually, I've gone to a sex club for the 3rd time ever. I'm a stocky 21y guy, not really attractive to most ppl, but I found ppl that wanted to play with me. First I was cautious, been jerking off in front of ppl and not letting them touch me, battling my own shyness, but I also sucked some dick. Damn, I never felt so good, I love to suck dicks. Even though I'm not a sex machine, I know I'm a whore and that's my nature. I love bb, breeding, poz. I wasn't "clean" that day, so I decided to top, and apparently I'm not desirable as a top, but everyone wanted a piece of my ass.  As I said before, the desire to be a whore is a natural thing, it comes every single day, hour, and no matter what I'm doing, I always think about dick, cum, piss. However, there's a thing I can't fight against called fear. I'm afraid of STDs. I live in Brazil, and we have free health care, but it might change in the future. Today some anon guy in the bath decided to open his hole in front of me, then he gave me a ripped condom thinking I was that dumb, so I left. I came back to the same place, proving I was dumb lol, due to being horny af, and he followed myself asking me to breed him, and it was automatic, I unwittingly started to fuck him raw and it felt so good.
Now I'm at home, and even though I'm jerking to the feeling and remembering everything with brighten eyes, I also want to get PEP in a couple hours. The reason I'm not doing PREP right now is because of toxicity, I got told it interacts badly with common meds like analgesics, it's bad for your kidney and might give you exclusive side effects that other PREP users might not get. In my head, doing PREP is like treating HIV and depending on medications for your whole life cuz I feel I'm a whore since I was 12, so that's not going to change ever. There were no direct influences, I just love dick, the taste of cum and I want to be breeded a lot. I want it to be part of my routine, I want to be breeded exaustly after college and work, then get home and take all the cum out of my cunt and swallow it.
And I apologize for any bad word/grammar, my language is Portuguese and I learned English just by reading the internet.

[Pozlover1]

 I looked for interesting guys and ignored any diseases they had or might have, even in those places, rather than just take multiple anon loads. I still got HIV and other stuff so there is no difference really. 

I agree the HIV meds are no worse than the current Travuda but the new Descovey looks less harmful. You might get on Travuda now then switch to Descovey when it becomes available.

or just take whatever you get like I did. 

[leatherpunk16]

If you were the top, chances are low that you got anything at all. There needs to be fluid exchange from the guy you fucked raw. If he didn't cum inside you, and didn't bleed during your session, you are very unlikely to need PEP or PREP immediately after. The bug is passed through four bodily fluids: blood, semen, breast milk, and vaginal secretions. We can rule out the last two entirely. The semen was yours, and if there was no blood, this is a non-exposure.

Rest easy. Nothing to worry about.

Other STDs, however, can be a reality. That's something you can check for after a couple weeks have passed.

[Guest JackEdJIZZ]

50 minutes ago, leatherpunk16 said:

If you were the top, chances are low that you got anything at all. There needs to be fluid exchange from the guy you fucked raw. If he didn't cum inside you, and didn't bleed during your session, you are very unlikely to need PEP or PREP immediately after. The bug is passed through four bodily fluids: blood, semen, breast milk, and vaginal secretions. We can rule out the last two entirely. The semen was yours, and if there was no blood, this is a non-exposure.

Rest easy. Nothing to worry about.

Other STDs, however, can be a reality. That's something you can check for after a couple weeks have passed.

Great comment and advice.   Low risk activities make conversion difficult.   But, you never know.   I fucked raw  throughout my life--including the early days of the AIDS crisis and never converted.  After trying PrEP for three years (build up my slut skils) I stopped the chemical.  I was KNOCKED UP THE VERY FIRST POST PrEP fuck session.   It is all about fate.

So, if you like the raw fucker lifestyle, you will keep going back.  And each fuck will add a risk event.   You have a huge choice to make, accept the risk or always play safe.   I believe in the concept we only have two sources of satisfaction.   Our sex drive/responses and our brains both have other functions.  But we have enough control over both that they each can be source of immentse pleasure.   That can lead to extreme frustration as it seems fear affects both.      Fucking free and raw opens your sexual being, but the fear invades your brain telling you to stop.     You stop and the fear invades your sexual being, You become afraid of a boring or even sexless life.    The sexual desires the fuel your entire psyche will wither and die as you pamper the fear in your brain.   You are trapped, if you try to re-energize your sexual soul, your brain will keep you from enjoying anything out of fear.

Fellow faggots and queers who openly and fully accept the infection risk seem to have achieved some balance.   Even if they do not get knocked up they know they could or perhaps know they will indeed go POZ.   But they can deal with that reality much easier than dealing with the reality of keeping you sexual existance hidden out of fea.

I did go on PrEP for a while--to expand my slutty-ness and open my circle of POZ buds.   But when i had accomplished that, I knew it was time.  I threw away the chemical condum.  Once I got to that place, I fucked without fear for the first time.   Maybe that open and accepting feeling was part of getting knocked up that first post-PrEP fuck.  Maybe it was fate.  But for certain it was my destiny.    

No meds, no regrets and no looking back.   Literaly wear my Pride in POZ in my newest tattoo....my poz ink sleeve is underway.   FUCK HARD AND GET POZZED.  Or go home, play safe and stay virus free.   Only you know your real need and desire.

[NastyBrazilian]

14 hours ago, leatherpunk16 said:

If you were the top, chances are low that you got anything at all. There needs to be fluid exchange from the guy you fucked raw. If he didn't cum inside you, and didn't bleed during your session, you are very unlikely to need PEP or PREP immediately after. The bug is passed through four bodily fluids: blood, semen, breast milk, and vaginal secretions. We can rule out the last two entirely. The semen was yours, and if there was no blood, this is a non-exposure.

Rest easy. Nothing to worry about.

Other STDs, however, can be a reality. That's something you can check for after a couple weeks have passed.

He's a cumdump. I'm pretty sure I was fucking a cum-filled cunt. I do know about risks, but during the moment I didn't care enough.
 

[leatherpunk16]

8 hours ago, BrunoSP said:

He's a cumdump. I'm pretty sure I was fucking a cum-filled cunt. I do know about risks, but during the moment I didn't care enough.
 

Okay. That changes things a bit. An exposure is a possibility now. If you wish to seek treatment, do it now. Turn off this computer or phone or whatever, and go to the nearest clinic to get help. Your window is much shorter now.

[NastyBrazilian]

7 hours ago, leatherpunk16 said:

Okay. That changes things a bit. An exposure is a possibility now. If you wish to seek treatment, do it now. Turn off this computer or phone or whatever, and go to the nearest clinic to get help. Your window is much shorter now.

I forgot to mention I'm already on meds since yesterday, but ty for your concern.

[Veytoss]

I posted some times ago this little guide to reduce the chance to catch STDs:

I just want to stress again that PREP is now a super secure med, if you like to have sex without condoms, like everyone do, go get it.

[NastyBrazilian]

On 9/15/2019 at 7:18 AM, Veytoss said:

I posted some times ago this little guide to reduce the chance to catch STDs:

I just want to stress again that PREP is now a super secure med, if you like to have sex without condoms, like everyone do, go get it.

I've been ignorant about PREP, but I do think it's secure now and I've spoken to my doctor to start using it after my PEP treatment.
Also, I love how you care about your health. I assume I didn't had any HPV vaccination, but everything else from the list is checked; except for your probiotic/prebiotic multivitamin, but my diet is rich in fiber and I drink fermented milk everyday. Here in Brazil, anti-flu vaccination happens from mid april to the end of june.