Is Sexual Addiction Natural?

[ErosWired]

@tallslenderguy - I’m not sure I agree that the possibility of an actual addiction - in the strictest sense of the term - can be so easily dismissed as a cultural construct. The biochemistry of sex does very potent things with the reward system and pleasure centers in the brain, and has significant implications in terms of dopamine release, among other chemicals and neurotransmitters. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that some individuals begin to rely on sexual activity to trigger changes in brain chemistry in the same way another person might rely upon a drug - they are both a means to the same end.

Likewise, just as a drug addict will become desensitized to the drug and require increasingly great doses to achieve the same effect, so too may a person who relies on sex discover that one hookup no longer satisfies, and he begins to need more and more to achieve the same mental effect...until it becomes impossible.

I do not meet the criteria for sex addiction, but I have observed a marked change in my reaction to sexual encounters over time; where once a single fuck could content me for weeks, now I feel empty if I go home with fewer than ten, and always hope for another gangbang that could Fill my tank with 20+ loads again. And then I catch myself feeling wistful, wondering what it would be like to be full with 50. I’ve crossed the 20+ threshold three times now...and even that is starting to feel mundane.

Fortunately, I live in the Ass-End of Nowhere and I only get to indulge on a monthly basis - that gives my brain time to reset a bit. If I lived in a city with a bathhouse and a sex club, I can see myself ending up in service three or four days a week, and I think changes would happen fast.

But here’s the thing: Some people are more genetically prone to addiction than others. Experience has shown that I am not. So I think one of two things can happen. Either a guy who reaches the level of sexual activity that he simply begins to addictively self-destruct in the futile pursuit of what has become a dependency...or he realizes he’s gotten all he can get from it and out of boredom finds a new passion. The first guy is an addict. The second is not. They both had the same level of sexual activity, but the difference between them lies in their individual biochemistry, and has nothing to do with any moralist social agenda.

That’s my hypothesis, anyway. I suspect that the powerful effects of sex on biochemistry and mental states make it a serious candidate for true addiction.

[tallslenderguy]

9 hours ago, ErosWired said:

@tallslenderguy - I’m not sure I agree that the possibility of an actual addiction - in the strictest sense of the term - can be so easily dismissed as a cultural construct. The biochemistry of sex does very potent things with the reward system and pleasure centers in the brain, and has significant implications in terms of dopamine release, among other chemicals and neurotransmitters. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that some individuals begin to rely on sexual activity to trigger changes in brain chemistry in the same way another person might rely upon a drug - they are both a means to the same end.

Likewise, just as a drug addict will become desensitized to the drug and require increasingly great doses to achieve the same effect, so too may a person who relies on sex discover that one hookup no longer satisfies, and he begins to need more and more to achieve the same mental effect...until it becomes impossible.

I do not meet the criteria for sex addiction, but I have observed a marked change in my reaction to sexual encounters over time; where once a single fuck could content me for weeks, now I feel empty if I go home with fewer than ten, and always hope for another gangbang that could Fill my tank with 20+ loads again. And then I catch myself feeling wistful, wondering what it would be like to be full with 50. I’ve crossed the 20+ threshold three times now...and even that is starting to feel mundane.

Fortunately, I live in the Ass-End of Nowhere and I only get to indulge on a monthly basis - that gives my brain time to reset a bit. If I lived in a city with a bathhouse and a sex club, I can see myself ending up in service three or four days a week, and I think changes would happen fast.

But here’s the thing: Some people are more genetically prone to addiction than others. Experience has shown that I am not. So I think one of two things can happen. Either a guy who reaches the level of sexual activity that he simply begins to addictively self-destruct in the futile pursuit of what has become a dependency...or he realizes he’s gotten all he can get from it and out of boredom finds a new passion. The first guy is an addict. The second is not. They both had the same level of sexual activity, but the difference between them lies in their individual biochemistry, and has nothing to do with any moralist social agenda.

That’s my hypothesis, anyway. I suspect that the powerful effects of sex on biochemistry and mental states make it a serious candidate for true addiction.

We don't disagree as far as i can see here.  i don't mean to imply there is no such thing as sexual addiction, just noting there is a cultural niche that views being gay as sex addiction, equating being gay with alcoholism.  

As to the OP's opening question: "is sexual addiction natural?"  It seems to me that sex addiction is a natural phenomena, but "natural" does not make sex addiction healthy or universal.

[ErosWired]

53 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

As to the OP's opening question: "is sexual addiction natural?"  It seems to me that sex addiction is a natural phenomena, but "natural" does not make sex addiction healthy or universal.

I might add as well that even though sex addiction may stem at least in part from natural biological and psychological processes, it is not normal. Natural ≠ normal here. No addiction is a normal mental state.

[120DaysofSodom]

From a scientific standpoint it is programmed into our DNA to be promiscuous because it increases our rate of successively procreating and passing on our genes. 

[FunCheerSlut]

I love this thread and topic. Thanks for the interesting and thought provoking material. I do appreciate this community. *group hug*

[fskn]

On 3/6/2020 at 5:14 AM, DannyBoyCMH said:

Addiction makes it sound like it's a problem.  I have to have sex every single day, but I also do other things in my life.  Sex is a huge part of my life, but I don't think there is anything wrong with that... at all.

 

On 3/6/2020 at 5:27 AM, hungry_hole said:

I'm sure that the concept of "sexual addiction" comes from women or men who've only had sex with girlfriend/wife.

 

On 3/6/2020 at 8:21 AM, Twochipigs said:

Definition of too much sex = more than the critic is getting.

 

You said it!

 

I'll buy the idea of sex addiction in cases where sex addiction is diagnosed by a licensed professional. That assumes broad professional consensus on the criteria, and the existence of research findings about treatments. (Thanks to @ErosWired for bringing up the question of the DSM!)

What worries me is the American tendency toward non-professional diagnosis.

For example, most married heterosexual men are sex addicts according to the online infidelity "survivor" community, which comprises the r/survivinginfidelity subreddit, an eponymous Web site, and the blogs of numerous non-professional "experts" (read: jilted ex-wives). The husband is a sex addict if he masturbates; if he looks at pornography; if he glances at a younger woman — or at any woman other than the wife; if he is curious about sex acts that the wife isn't interested in; or if he desires sex more often than she does. Any of these transgressions constitutes "infidelity" and is grounds for immediate divorce.

This denial of normal human sexual responses is spilling over into the gay community. The advent of same-sex marriage, coupled with the portrayal, for the first time, of gay characters in mainstream TV shows and movies, means that we too are expected to be sexless romantics.

Straight people will now "tolerate" you if you hold hands with your husband, but will marginalize you to a greater extent than ever before, if you fuck lots of nameless men in dark alleys. Why would you still want to do that, they wonder, now that we have allowed you to marry your soulmate and move in next door to us, in the suburbs?

What's natural and harmless is for men (and indeed, for people of all genders) to fuck as often as possible, to fuck as hard as possible, and to fuck as many people as possible.

[CumDumpSLT]

My curiosity with sex started at a very early age and it snowballed into an obsession lol. I started wearing panties as a teenager and chatting it up having cyber sex with guys online in chatrooms. Once I lost my virginity to a man and got my first taste of cock I was addicted. As I got older I thought that there was something wrong with me because I literally craved it all the time and found myself in all sorts of situations where I questioned my morals afterwards going home feeling ashamed of myself. I started going to group meetings for sex addicts and wound up hooking up with pretty much everyone there. It got to the point that I got kicked out of the group. I then started seeing a psychiatrist to seek out some answers but as our sessions went on they turned into fuck sessions. He was a very good looking black man with this ridiculously huge horse cock that I just couldn’t resist. For the first time in my life I felt like someone understood me and didn’t judge me. He started recording our sessions, then have me watch them as he fucked me and tell him how they made me feel. I would crawl on my knees to him moaning pull out his enormous cock, wrap my lips around it and as I began going down on him I replied like a dirty whore Daddy. As his cock swelled in my mouth I talked dirty to him till he would throw me down and wreck my hole.

[SpectreAgent]

If it is an addiction, it’s not one I intend giving up any time soon…

[VersatileBreeder]

There isn’t much I can say here that hasn’t already been said, but I would like to reiterate to the OP that having a robust sexual appetite and fucking who you want when you want is totally fine. There should be no shame in that and any shame that has been imposed upon us is simply a social construct that defies our animalistic nature as humans.

Sexual addiction is a problem when it starts taking over your life. When you must have sex all the time just for the sake of having sex. I know a guy who has sex addiction BAD. I had hooked up with him a long time ago, but won’t hook up with him now because given how much sex he has (or at least I think he has), I feel like the chance of getting an STD from him is way too high. 

I talk to him every now and then but usually, he diverts the conversation to sex. This guy is retired, he is in his early 60’s. Decent looking guy, nice cock and ass (he is Vers) but literally all he does every waking moment of every day is hunt for sex. The need for sex has basically taken over his life and it controls him. It is at that point that sex addiction becomes unhealthy and dangerous. It’s so bad that it has led to him having no standards. He will fuck or be fucked by literally any guy willing to meet him. That also is not healthy. 
 

So the question to ask yourself is- do you feel that sex controls your life or do you control the urges?

[Ozpig]

As a bottom i have long been addicted to sex. I have friends to whom sex is an unimportant part of their life - and that is their bag. For me it has been a non stop cock and load fest for the past 20 years and I hope it may long continue. I start getting horny at work on Friday afternoon knowing I am going to a naked party or blackout or hosting a couple of tops at home, or visiting a very regular top who fucks me whenever i want. From midday on i am very unproductive.

[NastyRawBottom]

I’ve been told I have sex addiction. 

 

Sex is genuinely my favorite thing. I’ve cut school and called out of work in the past just to have sex. I don’t care who the Men I’m with are, as long I’m having sex with them. If I’m doing any activity, chances are I’d rather be having sex. 

 

Despite all of that, I truly believe I’m a better person with my so-called ‘addiction.’ I’m much more confident when I meet people, especially Men. Even though I was really shy when I was younger. I don’t worry or overthink as much as I use to. I enjoy every time I have sex and don’t merely do it out of compulsion. I have sex because it makes me and the other person happier. My sex drive gives me energy and makes me work much more efficiently. It’s something I really look forward to. 

 

I don’t believe ‘sex addiction’ is the right terminology. There are people who rarely have sex but are miserable the whole time they do it. Likewise, there are people who only have sex because they feel compelled or pressured to. Neither of which is my case. There might be other types of sex-related psychological disorders, but don’t think having lots of sex is in and of itself an issue, if it makes you happy and enriches your life. 

 

Yes, sex is natural and our bodies are designed to crave it. It isn’t a processed good like substances or a product of modernity like technology. It is just part of who we are and we all manifest it differently.