anxiety Hypochondria & being a Cum Dump [ANXIETY]

[michaeladam]

Hey all! I'm new to this amazing forum so let me introduce myself first.

My name is Michael and i'm a 22 yo European bottom. I love to expose my self to Dom Tops and totally into being bred and fucked rough.
Unfortunately I, from time to time, suffer from Anxiety and mostly Hypochondria. It's something that can get extremely present, this feeling of having a terminal disease.
When i'm in that state of mind, nobody. not a a friend nor a doctor can convince me that i'm fine. I've had the most unrealistic thoughts throughout the years. 

• - Long cancer
• - Tickle cancer
• - Prostate cancer
• - A L S
• - Becoming blind
• - HIV
• - an STD that's not discovered and registered yet
• - Heart Failure
• - and a lot of other different , Disease related thoughts.

Cancer and HIV are the most common fears in my life.
The only thing that helps best is meditate, mindfulness. I'm doing this for years now. Sometimes daily, sometimes weekly. It depends. And I can highly recommend it to people who suffer from sleeping-problems, anxiety, depression or any other form of mental health issue.

Now being Hypochondriac and a Cum dump doesn't really go hand in hand. It's a bit ironic right? 
Well fuck me!

I'm now considering PrEP because I don't want my sex life to suffer because I constantly fear for HIV. I don't want to be pozzed. But I fucking love a man to shoot the loads he want in my pink smooth boy dump hole. 
I'm very happy with this forum. It's extremely informative to me so far. And i'm just curious if there are many guys here that can relate to what I'm saying here. And how to cope with this.
When i'm horny or plan on a sex date I don't fear anything. Off course I know that there will probably be a panic attack 3 days after being BB'ed but at that moment I don't care. So I enjoy and let my hole get seeded. But it's a nightmare to go through this roller coaster of fear all the time.

I'm sure i'm not alone with this. Curious if people can relate to my story here.

❤️
 

 

[lower_bucks_bottom]

I am also a hypochondriac and while hypochondriacs are usually the butt of jokes in TV and movies I can attest that it is a serious condition. I spent years  thinking that every time I had sex, whether safe or not, that this was the one that would infect me. I was for the most part a real condom Nazi. You would think that now that despite all my efforts I became positive it would cure the hypochondria,  but it doesn't. There are still plenty of other things to catch. 

There is really no excuse to get on PrEP and I would highly recommend that you do. It won't cure your hypochondria but it will be one less thing to worry about