Relationships

[Guest]

4 hours ago, hunjng said:

I tried open relationships with a guy since I live a cumslut life, not really working. He said he's okay with me taking loads, but turns out he's not okay. Other guys seem to only want to play, rather than in a serious relationship. It's harder than I thought to find someone accept me being a cumdump.

Stud, you're hot as hell.  If I ever date again I want it to be a hot slut I can be sleazy with but still have our "down time" and be a real couple with more than just sex going on.  I don't mean to be "negative", but it's gonna take a high level of confidence and not too much jealousy to date a guy with a crazy hot body AND sleazy attitude like you.  If you want to be a true cumdump and available all the time for guys to breed, your phone is obviously blowing up ALL the time!  As much as I love the idea of my partner being a major slut and good bait to get us more sex - or tell me his hole is loaded so I can add my cum -  I would be annoyed if we're watching a movie or making dinner and your phone is blowing up and you dump me to go get loaded on a regular basis.  If you're a reliable cumdump, you must be seriously busy with that body.  Add in the fact you are now chasing, and that adds another level of complication for finding the right guy to "date".  

The right guy is probably out there and lots (like me) would THINK they want a hot slutty BF like you, I doubt I could handle the reality of you ALWAYS heading out to hook up - true cumdumps put sex first and always reliable.  I'd certainly give it a try though, and then I'd end up being one of those guys who "only want to play".  I guess "open relationship" has different boundaries as far as frequency and situations, which just puts limitations on you being who you wanna be.  You must have all the dates and hookups you want, so have fun along the way and eventually the right guy who can "handle" your sluttiness will cum along :) 

[Kinkuano]

I'm in a relationship, he was the first one I had BB sex without feeling guilty or bad, he showed me how to be bottom and how to enjoy giving and taking loads. This weekend we are going to have a full RAW orgy taking loads and giving as much of them without any bad feeling but pleasure!!!

I'm on PrEP, I get turned on by watching him have sex with someone else and he is just like that with me!!!

BB + PrEP was the best choice ever!!!

[Breedthisslut]

This slut can only commit if it’s an open relationship also. I have had one guy(who I’m crazy for) wanted a committed relationship but exclusive. I know myself well enough that me being with one person just ain’t going to happen.

My ideal person is one that could be excited about my being the slut I am and work with and help me be the slut. Encourage me to put my pussy out there for others to use. When I find that person, I will be committed.

[wiltslad]

I'm a faggot who can only ever have an open relationship.  I like cock too much to give my ass to one man!

[Poz-Mcr]

Having not been in a relationship (not by choice) for over 10 years now, this is an interesting subject for me. My gut instincts, desires and general needs most definitely lie on the spectrum of sleazy and kinky - I would, if I could, happily play with a different guy every day (not that I've ever had that opportunity - suspect, combined with getting older, I'm not to many guys' tastes). Yet, on the flip side of that, I long for a daily hug, cuddle, and sexual intimacy from someone special, who is understanding, accepting of, and into my needs (and I their's of course). 

So, would I want a relationship again? Absolutely. But, it needs to be with someone that I can be totally honest with and accepts all my kinks, desires and wants. Even if that was the case, could it be monogomous? Unlikely - getting older, I don't want to be limited on any potential opportunities that might arise; I spent far too many years of my youth suppressing my true needs from my various boyfriends and probably missed out on a lot of horny, sleazy experiences as a result. Could it be an open relationship? This is the one that causes me most emotional conflict. To work, for the reasons given before, it would have to be an equal open relationship. But, within strict rules to keep the green-eyed monster away; either my potential other half would need to accept me 'playing away' as much as they were, or we'd only play together with others.

I'm not holding my breath though. It's hard enough, even as a singleton (and despite the apps supposedly making it easier to hook up), to find guys that I'm into that want to play with me, so I don't underestimate how hard it would/will be to find a guy that wants a relationship that would work for me. I live in hope.

[suckerboi]

If I am going to have a relationship, I need someone who can handle an open relationship.  He needs to a) enjoy my sleazy, kinky side; b) have his own sleazy, kinky side; c) be open to each of us hooking up with many men on a regular basis; and d) appear conventional on the outside.

[PigBoyDallas]

Not really interested in a relationship. I am who I am and am comfortable with who I am. Relationships mean compromise and being fully honest. I don’t think most guys would be cool with me fucking as much as I do. I don’t think I could be monogamous either. It’d have to be an open relationship and they’d have to be cool with me barebacking with other guys. I can’t think of many guys who’d be down for all that. I’d be cool if the other guy was like I am but if not forget it. I don’t get the need for a relationship anyhow, but that may could change, I admit.

[TightBott7]

I think that for a sub bottom who’s really in love with his dom top, a permanent relationship could be worked out if structured with the sub agreeing to be faithful to the top while accepting that a top has different needs that involve fucking and using as many bottoms as possible. The only sex the bottom could engage with others  outside the relationship would be in obedience to the directions of the top. A good sub bottom would not be possessive of the top and celebrate the top’s sex with other bottoms, and this would only enhance his submissive, subservient status.

[Guest Goodbye]

I've been in a few relationships and never cheated. I believe when you are in a relationship then give it your all and when you are single fuck who ever... 

With that said I am currently in a relationship but I is a bit Rocky due to a variety of factors... Time will tell if things will work out... 

Sometimes I do think that I was me at to be single and just have random flings. Especially being poz I would hate to infect my BF cause he is an amazing soul. 

 

[RubberAustria]

I was in a relationship/marriage for 20 year. Now a happy Single. 
Relationship: Yes, buuuuut.....He must have a fetish (rubber, piss — big plus). He must love sex. Open relationship? You have to make a definition. I can Imagine, as I did, to have some fun in gay cruising Clubs. What happens there stays there. Can I imagine an open relationship like this: He stays  this weekend with Mr.X  and I with Mr.Y.....Nope. Thanks. Maybe I change my mind. As long as my dick jerks off and I am still horny like a Teenager my life is perfect.

 

[BootmanLA]

For a long time I've said that the most important factor in a relationship is agreement on what that means. For some, it means absolute monogamy (and that's fine if that's what both parties choose as their terms). For some, it means fidelity - faithfulness of the heart, but not necessarily the body. For those, there are subsets of people who limit "outside play" in various ways - no sex in our shared home, no sex in our shared bed, no overnight visits just for sex, no canceling "our" time for an outside fling, only when one of us is away from home traveling, whatever the two parties may think is necessary to bolster that separation between nonmogamy and fidelity. That's without going into other relationship forms, like triads, quads, and other poly situations.

And for any and all of these, what constitutes acceptable vs. unacceptable behavior, i.e. what counts as cheating? Does online flirting, over an extended period, count, even if two never meet in person? Is it cheating if your partner regularly meets up with another person for lunches - long lunches, where they share deep emotional secrets, but never do anything physical beyond, say, hugging or holding hands? It's amazing how differently two people can view the exact same behavior.

In all of these, communication and agreement are critical. And that includes, inevitably, what happens when someone in the relationship screws up? If one person cheats, however they define that term, do you call it quits, do you work on rebuilding trust, do you agree to change the terms of the relationship?

There's no single right path or answer to any of this. There's only what's right for the individuals involved, and there may need to be some serious compromise, or as Dan Savage puts it, one person may have to pay the price of admission. If A wants a relationship with B badly enough, and B requires a completely closed relationship, then even if A prefers a more open arrangement, "closed relationship" is the price of admission to that particular relationship; if A isn't willing to pay that price, the relationship's not for him. (And it works in reverse: the price of a relationship with A could be "must be open", and if B wants that relationship badly enough, that's the price he needs to pay.

The problems come when people pretend that the price isn't really fixed, and don't actually plan on paying that price, or assuming the price will change when push comes to shove. (There's nothing wrong with changing the terms as long as both parties agree; but when they haven't, you're back in the situation of what do you do when one party screws up under the terms agreed upon.)

[BootmanLA]

One other thing Savage talks about is how there's no such thing, ordinarily, as "the one". Nobody is ever 100% perfectly suited to meet all the needs of someone else while the same is also true in reverse - no such thing as perfect matches. Rather, he notes, we "round up" - someone is a 0.69 or a 0.72, and we round that up to 1. Some of the difference is balanced out with friends (your partner may not share your interest in kayaking, but you've got a buddy who enjoys it so you can keep at it); some of it you just accept you'll differ (I like having the dishes done immediately after a meal, he prefers to wait till he's got a sinkfull to do at once, so if I want a clean sink, I do the dishes myself).

When the difference between the 0.72 and 1 involves sexual likes and dislikes, the same's true. Sometimes one partner foregoes something he really likes (say, ball bashing) because the partner is squeamish about it. Sometimes one partner agrees to do things that don't interest him as much, because it means so much to his partner. Sometimes they agree the partner can seek that specific activity elsewhere. But again, communication is key for "rounding up", unless a guy is willing to discard all the things he wants but won't get with a particular partner. The problem I see most often is, few people actually are ready to just "give up" everything that is a mismatch area, and that's where talking it out becomes necessary.