What Does it Mean to be a Man? 😉

[ErosWired]

10 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

I'm not here to tell anyone else how he should identify.

But my good man, that is precisely what you spend your post doing, from the get-go where you start by implying that you know what is best for all of us poor fools who are too witless to realize that what we desire isn’t actually desirable... by someone else.

Your opinion is noted.

Frankly, what I read in your argument is not a general critique of the type of masculinity under discussion so much as your personal visceral negative response to it. Clearly, you are not the sort of bottom who would respond to the approach of such a Top; I imagine that such a Top would similarly not particularly enjoy interacting with you either. If you do not choose to identify yourself as a faggot, or subscribe to the notion that you have a role to play in servicing Tops, then so be it, and more power to you. Others are unlike you, but that does not invalidate their point of view. The basic incompatibility between the you and the Top does not automatically translate into some sort of universal truth, and you should at least have the sense that God gave a cactus to acknowledge that this is your personal outlook only.

I am reminded of an incident one time at camp when I was being used on a picnic table by a particularly Dominant Top in view of a small gathering of onlookers. The Top was handling me fairly roughly, and applying mild verbal abuse - nothing egregious, and certainly nothing out of the ordinary in a BDSM context. As I lay there taking his cock, I heard a young man in the group say to an older man with him, “He can’t talk to him like that, it isn’t right. Look at the way he’s treating him!”

Fortunately, the man he was with apparently immediately took him aside and set him straight before he could embarrass anyone further. There was much more going on in our coupling, at a much more deep and complex level, than his simplistic view comprehended, or allowed for. When we finished, I made a point of audibly thanking the Top for his use of me, and he complimented my service - and then he began his aftercare to make sure I was fine. I hoped that young man was still watching, so that he would understand what he had actually witnessed, not what he assumed he had witnessed.

[PendragonSpirit]

Being swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

What, someone had to make the joke.

In all seriousness, there are as many varied answers as there are people to answer it, because everyone views manhood/masculinity in a different way.

[BootmanLA]

15 hours ago, ErosWired said:

But my good man, that is precisely what you spend your post doing, from the get-go where you start by implying that you know what is best for all of us poor fools who are too witless to realize that what we desire isn’t actually desirable... by someone else.

But that's just it. I'm not saying any particular bottom can't desire that. 

I have no problem with a Top making clear that *if* sex occurs, he's in charge and he feels entitled to do anything from A to Z. I have no problem with a bottom making clear that he's only willing to have sex if restrictions J, Q and P are observed. (And the top can decline to accept those limits, and the bottom can decline to have sex without a guarantee of those rules in place.)

What I have a problem with is the idea that anyone is *entitled* to his pleasure at any cost. Because there's literally no daylight between that position and "I can fuck anyone I want to regardless of whether he wants it or not". What's missing from his postings is any acceptance of the idea of consent - that there is clear and unequivocal consent for what he may do.

You've talked about some of your picnic table escapades where you allow tops to use you in any way they choose. Would that include fisting you with an open pocketknife in his hand? Strictly understood, BT's demands to be in complete control of getting his jollies any way, shape or form could include that. Or choking you until you pass out and then fucking your throat, further cutting off air repeatedly and possibly causing brain damage. Or deciding to carve his initials into your buttocks - not to claim you as "his" but just to show he'd been there.

Hell: there's nothing in his posting that acknowledges that if he decided he'd get off on snuffing your life out, getting his orgasm during your last spasms of life, that would be crossing a line. There's nothing that conveys the notion he even recognizes that there ARE any lines, at all. Because as he noted, he "will expect my fag to do what it takes to make me cum as hard as possible." Track down the movie "HARD" sometime.

[Guest]

i guess being  a man may mean many different things, like grow up and what ever else, but to my understanding there are two types of people in the world! men and bitches! the one who as a penis and uses it to fuck and the bitch who as no penis only hole or the bitch that as a penis but also likes to have his hole fucked. so im a bitch and love it and certainly im not a man sure one with a penis but I get fucked so im definatly a bitch.

[ErosWired]

5 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

You've talked about some of your picnic table escapades where you allow tops to use you in any way they choose.

I’ve done nothing of the kind. In no account of my experiences (all of which, I might add, are quite true) have I ever said that I had subjected myself to another man’s use without any limitation whatsoever, nor would I ever do so. No credible BDSM practitioner subscribes to that.

In certain select cases I have granted Dominants great discretion in the use of my body as they have demonstrated that I could trust them to enjoy me responsibly, once they had become intimate enough with my physical response to know what they were doing. The most extreme expression of this was the extent to which I participated in my former Master’s experimentation with me. By the end of it, I would let him pass a pair of .18 gauge needles through my testicles. Would I let some random Top walk into my hotel room and do the same thing? Don’t be absurd.

 I give aggressive, dominating Tops wide latitude in how they use me not because I’m helpless to prevent it, but because I comprehend their potential impact and have conditioned myself to receive it. Human males are by their size and construction strong and potentially dangerous simply in moving about; the forces generated in sexual action multiply this potential exponentially. My experience of a (very) broad sampling of men has given me an understanding that, on the whole, men are not gentle, considerate, and thoughtful copulators. Rather, more often than not they are responding to biological drives steered by chemical and primal psychological cues and instincts that bring out the beast in them. This is a natural phenomenon in process.

I might submit for your consideration the possibility that this interaction that you decry between what you consider abusive, entitled Tops and abject self-destroying faggots is in fact a kind of symbiosis that has developed by which personalities of certain types satisfy mutual needs so that neither group attempts to meet its needs within the context of the less accepting mainstream society. I put it to you that I, by allowing myself to be the target of a Top who likes to find an anon hotel cumdump because he enjoys the feeling of being entitled to use another man at will, am providing a service not only to that man in meeting his sexual and psychological need, but also to the community by acting as the buffer for his influence - which might, in another situation, have been negative.

6 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

What's missing from his postings is any acceptance of the idea of consent

On the contrary, it’s right there, in his plain text: “a willing and welcoming hole”. 

To be candid, I am somewhat confused how you could have drawn a conclusion from reading my content posted in the forum that I am the sort of bottom who would allow myself to be used with no concern for my own welfare, there being ample evidence to the contrary - I can only assume it is a result of a cursory reading of my material. That would be consistent with your interpretation of the text under discussion, as you seem to have overlooked key passages in context.

[haireebear]

16 hours ago, PendragonSpirit said:

Being swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

What, someone had to make the joke.

In all seriousness, there are as many varied answers as there are people to answer it, because everyone views manhood/masculinity in a different way.

you beat me to it!   damn you!  After reading the headline, I started humming the Mulan song and checked to see if anyone had already replied this.   sigh.

[BreedingTop71]

On 4/3/2021 at 1:38 PM, DannyBoyCMH said:

I know people are giving you shit for this post, but not me.  As a bottom, I have to concur from my side.  That's my personal perspective, and I am entitled to that.

I am actually fascinated by the responses. So elaborate! Almost like these people don’t have anything better to do than to overthink and dissect what I wrote in 2 mins while taking a number 2!! LMAO. It’s funny.....

[ErosWired]

2 hours ago, BreedingTop71 said:

I am actually fascinated by the responses. So elaborate! Almost like these people don’t have anything better to do than to overthink and dissect what I wrote in 2 mins while taking a number 2!! LMAO. It’s funny.....

It’s because we’re nor actually talking about you, buddy. We’re discussing deeper issues related to the topic of what it means too be a man. Your post just stimulated the conversation. If we mention you it’s not personal, you just serve as a useful illustration for the discussion because of your usual style of posting.

[BreedingTop71]

1 minute ago, ErosWired said:

It’s because we’re nor actually talking about you, buddy. We’re discussing deeper issues related to the topic of what it means too be a man. Your post just stimulated the conversation. If we mention you it’s not personal, you just serve as a useful illustration for the discussion because of your usual style of posting.

Some people are. And if you started using my posts as a reference, even if just initially, it is easy to see it is about me and my post. 
 

having said that, and since you wanted to clarify your conversation has nothing to do with me, I would like to point out that I was actually responding to someone with whom I have chatted privately before, more of a private conversation. Was not addressing any of you, nice people. 

[BootmanLA]

8 hours ago, BreedingTop71 said:

Some people are. And if you started using my posts as a reference, even if just initially, it is easy to see it is about me and my post. 
 

having said that, and since you wanted to clarify your conversation has nothing to do with me, I would like to point out that I was actually responding to someone with whom I have chatted privately before, more of a private conversation. Was not addressing any of you, nice people. 

And yet you posted it publicly rather than actually sending him a private message. Odd.

[Guest]

On 2/7/2021 at 8:10 PM, Dad4cub said:

Being a male is embracing your primal sexual nature, taking pride in your penis and indulging yourself in the pleasures of sodomy with other males who share a common love of cock and male scent. No male is truly a man until he embraces a cock centered life and experiences the rough yet intimate ecstasy of mating with others, be it fucking a load into a guy's ass, being milked to spill his seed for sport and pleasure or being the depository of the warm male essence from other men.

i have to admit i agree totally. i may be male in body but in reality i am nothing but a female in everything else performing the functions of a female in everything a male wants and desires in sex. i spread my legs, open my mouth to take his cock and suck him and spread my legs for him to fuck me till he leaves his seed inside of me. i get pleasure and get fucked just like a girl accept she as two holes i have one but nowadays girls to do anal sex and love it. the roles of a sissy and a female are becoming much more close together both do anal now as well, and love it too.

[Guest Scoeri123]

 I am a trans man. Being a man is much more than what body parts you have or chromosomes.  To define manhood by these characteristics dismisses the validity of trans men.  Trans men are men. 

Legally, at least in the U.S., age 18 is adulthood. Though that doesn't make a man. At any age a man can be a boy. A man is mature. He accepts responsibility for his actions and choices. He understands that there are consequences to bad choices and is willing to accept them. He doesn't try to find a scape goat. 

 

[Guest]

I think any discussion of "What is a man", has to recognize that there is a difference between male and man. 

Male is a physically reality defined by the XY chromosomal pair.  An organism is a male from conception until death.  Every cell with a nucleus has a copy of that organism's XY chromosome.  Being male is not subject to change.  A males body chemistry can be modified with drugs and hormones, but the physically reality of being male still remains intact.

Man is a gender, which is a social construct subject to change.  At one time man was directly associated with being a male.  The same for woman and female.   Not so anymore.  Gender is what anyone wants it to be.  Under today's gender constructs one can be male and not identify as man.  Discussing what it means to be a male makes more sense than walking in the mine field that is gender.

Males have certain biological, psychological, mental and physical traits, some of which overlap with the female.  These traits trump any definition of what a man is because maleness is defined by physical reality. 

What it means to be a man is defined by consensus, which allows for minority views and in turn endless, never ending disagreements.  Much of what a man is today is ideological and political, having nothing to do with being male.