Community Questionnaire

[CumNmeNow]

I was diagnosed with AIDS in the late 90’s with a viral load approaching a million and a CD 4 of 60. Needless to say my doc said I had probably been poz for at least 5 or so years and that sort of goes back to when I started getting phone calls from old partners that were also poz. I have been on meds and undetectable for the most part since I went on Meds. Sometimes the meds were worse than the sickness. I started on my meds when they started to make a difference. I figured I only had a year or so to live. Dark Days indeed.

I lost some very good friends that were much younger than me and have survivors guilt I guess too. To be a bug Chaser is really to be selfish and a death wish. You want to remove yourself from those who value you even though you may not see the same value in yourself. You do have value! To help someone do that is a crime as well in my book but I am not here to judge as it is each to his own and we all do some crazy stuff. Even the gifters have issues in their lives that need compassion and understanding. Even the people that I have lost probably made poor choices as have I and we all have to live with those choices. This is a choice you can avoid and all of the problems that come with having the disease are not fun. It takes courage to live with it and you will have regrets when you bug chase and see the problems down the road. I do know that is a decision that those guys make but if you make it and get it then folks like us are here to support you and not to condemn as to how you got it.

I know folks say being gay is not fair or getting HIV or AIDS is not fair, but in the grand scheme of things is does not matter who you are Life Is Not Fair and it is what you make of it. You can choose to be happy or choose not too. I choose to be happy and enjoy my life and accept what comes my way and not fear the future.

Just some sage advice from an old fart.