Getting over bad experience

[11bi11guy]

I’m a bisexual guy in a limited open relationship; my girlfriend lets me have a big day out hooking up with guys once every few months. My first experience with this new arrangement was great! I swallowed two loads at the ABS, then spent the rest of the day at the bathhouse where I got fucked by five different guys, got spitroasted for the first time, and got lots of delicious cock and cum.

However, my second experience wasn’t as great. Started out pretty well: met up at one guy’s house where he bred me twice, then met another guy in a parking lot to give him car head. After that it was all downhill. The third guy I was gonna meet up with flaked. I planned to spend the rest of the day at the bathhouse getting fucked, and I had posted on all the sites for weeks to prepare for it. But the bathhouse was almost completely dead. The few guys who were there were either not attractive or just ignored me; maybe I wasn’t their type.

The only guy who actually wanted to play was this short hairy daddy, usually my type. But when I got close, he had the worst BO I’ve ever smelled, like rancid curry covered up with some shitty incense. I was so horny for cock—I only get this chance once in a blue moon and I had just spent $65 on a nice room—that I thought, “fuck it, I’m sucking his dick anyways.” But after taking his head in my mouth I realized his cock was just as unhygienic as he was. As I was sucking I realized he had a large raised sore just underneath his foreskin, which I confirmed with a quick look in the light of the porn on the video screen. I didn’t want to be rude, so I was looking for a way to gracefully stop blowing him, but then he grabbed my head and started face-fucking me. I’m not a bug chaser, and while I’ve fantasized about being a free-use slut, the actual experience of being used by a disgusting guy is a big turn off. I pulled off his dick, got up and went back to my room. I tried watching porn, but I couldn’t even get off at that point. I packed up my stuff and left. Thankfully I tested negative for everything two weeks later.

I know bad experiences are going to happen, but that trip left a really bad taste in my mouth (pun intended). Has anyone else had a similarly bad experience? How did you handle it in the moment? Were you able to recover your desire to be a slut? If so, how?

[theplayerking]

It’s difficult if you have to cram all of your playtime into one big day. It builds a lot of expectation into something you ultimately can’t control, i.e., who happens to be online or at the bathhouse on any given day. 
 

Under normal circumstances it’s always good to trust your gut. If a hookup seems sketchy, move on. 

[BootmanLA]

8 minutes ago, theplayerking said:

It’s difficult if you have to cram all of your playtime into one big day. It builds a lot of expectation into something you ultimately can’t control, i.e., who happens to be online or at the bathhouse on any given day. 
 

Under normal circumstances it’s always good to trust your gut. If a hookup seems sketchy, move on. 

THIS.

I get that "one big day every few months" is the reality you have to live with. But the reality also is that on any given day, you might be batting 1.000 or you might strike out repeatedly. And the only options are: stick it out, and risk being majorly disappointed by the end of your day pass; or abort early when it looks like things are going to be dead for you, and find something else to do with your free time that you'd enjoy, at least as a partial replacement.

I can't remember how many Friday or Saturday nights, "back when", that people would go out and hit the bars and clubs hoping to meet someone and get laid. And about 1:00 AM (they closed at 2), people would start getting really antsy - and by 1:45 they'd either have "settled" for someone marginally appealing or they were bitterly headed out knowing they weren't getting sex. Meanwhile the ones who'd said hello to their friends, made the social rounds, and decided early on that there wasn't anyone of interest had been home for a couple of hours, and were either enjoying a late movie or a bowl of ice cream or whatever. Sometimes, cutting your losses makes more sense.

[ErosWired]

Some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you. The old adage applies here, too, because it’s a jungle out there. For different reasons, my slutting time is similarly concentrated into narrow opportunities, and I always know that I’m rolling the dice when I head out. I learned two things early: 1) Things turn out better if you plan well; and 2) If you describe success in terms of what you experienced rather than what you expected, you’ll end up more satisfied on the whole.

 In terms of 1), for instance, I learned that my odds for hotel hosting always seemed to work out better on Thursdays, and suck on Saturdays, so now I only go on Thursdays. I ask the bathhouse staff which days and times are busy and which are dead, and plan my visit accordingly. I take as much chance out of the equation as possible, but even so, I still have my share of dud hookups, regrettable encounters, and flakeapaloozas. It’s just the nature of the environment. Don’t get discouraged, just start right away planning for the next adventure.

[LetsPOZBreed]

Bad experiences are just part of the process.  You WILL have them; you just have to learn how to properly deal with them.

I've had the occasion at a bathhouse/cruise club/etc. where one bad guy will ruin your night, or at least the next hour or so.  Just know that it's okay to walk away if it's not right.  The sore on the cock is a big red flag - your disgusting guy is almost certainly aware that it's there, and attempting to force guys onto it is probably the only way it would get any action.   As limited as you may be with your free passes, it still shouldn't mean you should settle.   

@ErosWired is absolutely right that it pays to plan ahead.  The most seemingly counterintuitive days and times tend to be the ones with the biggest pay-offs.  There is (and hopefully will be) a popular cruise bar in central London where the naked nights are on Monday and Thursday evening - these nights are even busier than the weekend (clothed) nights.  Also, if it suits one to do so, going right when it opened for the day (around 1 p.m.) meant that you caught the guys looking for a quick cum-and-go, so there wasn't as much wandering around.  Also, when I lived in Dallas, one of the bathhouses there - the now-closed Midtowne Spa - if you went on a Saturday evening, used to give you a voucer for a discounted room on a weeknight, typically a Tuesday or Thursday.  I found that the Saturday nights are very hit and miss, but the weeknight of the voucher had better prospects overall.  Basically, go on days and times where your chosen venues are not in competition with other (nightclubs/etc.).  

Take it from those of us who have been at this for yeasr (and even decades):  never get discouraged.  I can go to the same cruisy spot two different times within a week of one another, and never see the same guy twice.  Even if you do run into the same guy, the experience with him may be different the second time around; could be better, could be worse.  You never really know who will turn up until you're there, although advertising that you will be present could alleviate this somewhat.  

[PigBoyDallas]

Always listen to your inner voice or gut. The times when I had a bad feeling about a hookup my instinct was right. Thankfully I'm not so desperate anymore that I ignore those warning signs.

[11bi11guy]

Thanks for all the advice guys. I definitely understand that the busiest days may not be the obvious ones: my successful day hooking up was on a Monday, and my unsuccessful day was on a Friday. Planning as much as possible, but also not having any expectations when it comes to the day of, and cutting my losses if any arise seems to be the right mindset.

[TightBott7]

About guys flaking and not showing up, I have found that married tops are the most reliable as they always seem very horny and ready to blow loads. Because their window of opportunity to fuck might be limited, when online they are raring to go and don’t beat around the bush...just my two cents.