Cheating 101

[BootmanLA]

59 minutes ago, barebackbro said:

I agree with your first paragraph.

I was surprised by the personal and judgmental tone of the balance of the post, not least because you know so little about my life. It's unnecessary to say more.

I'm sure we can agree on wishing everyone a safe and happy weekend!

When I said "you" I was referring to someone who acts like you describe in your post: someone who is "deliberately running the risk of seriously hurting your lover, and ruining everything you have built together." If you meant that to refer to some hypothetical person other than yourself, then "you" in this case doesn't literally mean you.

If you did mean to refer to yourself, that's another story, because I believe that information is enough to be judgmental about anyone who actually engages in that practice.

To be clear: I have no objections to someone having as much sex of any kind he wants (that's legal), as long as he's either single or has the consent of any partner(s) he's got. It's when the person having the sex is breaking the rules of his relationship - repeatedly and deliberately, in the case you described - that I formulate an opinion of that person's character. 

[partying.hard]

On 7/25/2021 at 9:40 PM, fukdmnd25 said:

I am 28 Latino top, and in a throuple. My boys are both bottoms, and I cheat on them regularly. I live with them, the sex is great, I have the option to be open, but I lie my ass off constantly. I love coming home after fucking some Twink, to my boys cooking dinner and kissing me deeply after my tongue was up some random's butthole. Nothing gets my dick harder than betraying their trust. I love the rush of them getting suspicious (I am a shit liar), and then making them apologize for getting so worked up over nothing. It is the act of betrayal that gets me rock hard, and I like seeing my boys hurt. 

I didn't realize it initially. I started cheating in 2019 and was not caught until Christmas time. They were calm and forgiving, even though I had three regulars and had fucked about 20 others. I promised not to do it again, but went out the next day and stuck my 8.5 into some random Twink. I love coming home and feeding my used dick to my boys, excusing the taste with "I jerked off with some lube, that's why it tastes that way." They always accept my dumb lies. I fuck a couple regularly in NYC. The bttm is poz and I get off knowing my boys are oblivious to what I do. If they knew I was lying they would be devastated. And that gets me hard af.

Damn, this post is a huge turnon!

[BannedWord]

On 8/22/2021 at 12:16 PM, bottomboib said:

First off, I simply love your mentality.  I love the disgrace and deception that you take pleasure in.  Its intoxicating at the least, and just reading your words makes me shake - thats how much my horniness overtakes me. 

I've been cheated on multiple times in two different relationships.  That relationship devastated me to the core. 

There is a lot in this post that resonates with me.  Perhaps for me it was that a few of my early relationships involved my partners cheating on me and my finding out later. In one case, when someone tells you they want to see other people, that horse has already left the barn. For the others -- one (while a great fuck) simply wasn't totally compatible with me regardless of what the heart thinks it wants. The other was just a total cunt, unremorseful, and it was my first relationship of any consequence. That shook me to my core. But I look back, still in contact with 2 of the 3 deceptions, and chuckling at what their lives have ultimately become. 

My own situation, though, brought me to what I might call 'cheating with caveats' (and no, not trying to justify it). My partner and I have talked about it, they don't have the same sex drive as me (mine is insane, just like the OP's), and my partner's has become, well, non-existent. Literally. No interest at all. So we agreed that I'd meet those needs elsewhere since just about everything else for us is perfect. But sex, and yes that's a huge thing, simply isn't there and left years ago. There are things my partner 'knows' and things about which they're 'unaware'.  Neither of us have a massive issue with it, but it's definitely not monogamous. Again, like the OP, I'm more the one giving half the story.

Yes, a small part of me feels bad because no one walks into a long term situation with the notion that their partner's sexual drive will drop to zero versus being the Battery Bunny. But the situation wasn't the one I signed on for and perhaps it's in some ways an invitation for me to skip out. Do I feel bad about stepping out? No, simply because I shouldn't (or can't) feel any worse. Ultimately I need to lead my own life and find my own fulfillment. I've been largely dormant (celibate, whatever name you want to give it) and I'm just over not having that satisfaction, that pleasure, that pure lust in my life. If my partner suddenly awoke to suddenly return to their Battery Bunny sexual appetite, with or without others, I'd be elated either way. I don't see that happening, and either I do what moves and satisfies my desires, or I lead a life that lacks that sexually charged and carnal lust and pleasure.

Thanks @bottomboib for sharing this. It really resonated, and I'm glad the topic also resonated with others who might share a similar situation. 

[BootmanLA]

4 hours ago, SRQDude said:

So we agreed that I'd meet those needs elsewhere since just about everything else for us is perfect.

That sentence, right there, explains it: you are not cheating, because this is an arrangement you and your partner came to, together. By definition, it's not cheating, because cheating is going AGAINST the rules you've agreed to. You're not. You've both agreed to a new set of rules that covers things at least until (when and if) he ever recovers his sex drive.

It's like Monopoly. Lots of families play the game with a set of "House Rules" - some twist that all the players agree to, up front, regardless of what the actual rules say. That's not cheating; that's an agreement to amend the rules that the players find acceptable. But if one player decided to take $300 every time he passed go, instead of $200, that would be cheating.

[PaulaCD]

I have another question: if you find out that guy you met has boyfriend, would you use this knowledge to make him do things? Or would you tell i.e. your friend that the guy he's seeing is in a relationship just to give him "a weapon" against the cheater?

[barebackbro]

55 minutes ago, PaulaCD said:

I have another question: if you find out that guy you met has boyfriend, would you use this knowledge to make him do things? Or would you tell i.e. your friend that the guy he's seeing is in a relationship just to give him "a weapon" against the cheater?

For me, absolutely not. I'm not into blackmailing guys for sex, or facilitating that.

I also think that abusing the knowledge is likely to blow back on the snitch, who deserves everything he gets. It's rarely a good idea to meddle in other people's private lives.

[hntnhole]

21 minutes ago, barebackbro said:

For me, absolutely not

I agree.  First, it would only stir up trouble for someone, and I'm assuming that wouldn't be something you'd want to do. Secondly, both of them would probably avoid you if you do that.  Stick to their dicks - keep your Hole open and your mouth closed.  Then, all three of you win.

[PaulaCD]

7 hours ago, barebackbro said:

For me, absolutely not. 

Ok. Good to know. It means you're a better person that some guys I met.

[nebboy88]

On 9/21/2021 at 4:19 AM, TwinkChaserSlut said:

I'd live to chat with you about it. I completely relate. I live how you sucked the bull's cock in between him impregnating your boyfriend. 

I love everything about these posts. 

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 8/22/2021 at 12:16 PM, bottomboib said:

First off, I simply love your mentality.  I love the disgrace and deception that you take pleasure in.  Its intoxicating at the least, and just reading your words makes me shake - thats how much my horniness overtakes me. 

 

I've been cheated on multiple times in two different relationships.  The first was an overly piggy partner, we were both in our early 20s, and the amount of cheating, the type of cheating, was madness.  While he was wild in the bedroom with me, what I found out he was doing behind my back, much later on, was monstrous.  While I had a kinky side at that time, it was pretty much just fantasy, and I was very big into monogamy (go figure) and therefore me finding out about what he had done was devastating to the core.  I was concerned since he had started using drugs, and i knew there was some unprotected sex, but I was just more concerned with the deception and the hardcore nature of it.  He ended up leaving me at 23 to be with a 70 year old, and while I'm sure there were gold digger purposes to it, in the end, he was nasty, and he loved the age difference (I ended up finding out) and it brought him sincere pleasure sleeping with the oldest of men. 

 

That relationship devastated me to the core.  I eventually found a much quieter, more well-put together guy, and experienced a pretty mundane and monogamous relationship with him.  After what i experienced with my ex, he certainly checked all the boxes for faithfulness decency. He wasn't very horny a lot of the time, and he was very vanilla.  As a way to spice up our sex life (I have an absolutely insane sex drive), we started talking about threesomes, and ya know, setting all the ground rules about being open and honest, blah blah blah.   I started playing around with this ultra skinny bi polar guy, he was hot, his dick was huge (im not a size queen, just saying though) and he had a much healthier sex drive.  I had kissed him as hard or harder than my boyfriend, but I knew it was all lust.  My bf had never gotten involved due to his lack of sex drive overall.  Finally one day my bf admitted, since he had been talking to the guy this whole time via messaging apps and stuff, that he actually liked him and wanted to go on a date with him, thinking we would make a good thruple if things worked out.  I was fine with that, our dinner was fine and we took him back to our place.  To my knowledge at that time, it was the first time my bf and him had met. Sitting on the couch he played the "its getting kind of hot in here card" and started to strip.  My bf eyed me because he know i could be uncomfortable about this, with my past relationship (yes, even though I had been with his guy a handful of times, it had always been one on one).  I went for it, kissing him, and my bf immediately approached and took him from me and that part of me inside snapped as I watched them make out.  We got into the bedroom quick, stripping totally, me kissing every part of his body while my bf went down on his big dick (my bf IS a size queen and a cocker sucker through and through).  Normal play ensued until we all came, there was no fucking.  Throughout all this however it was becoming apparently clear, even minute by minute, that I was enjoying them too together more than I was enjoying being involved.  And it was specific things too - i mean i certainly had no problem watching my bf's eyes roll into the back of his head sucking that big dick, but i was more turned on seeing their arms wrap around each other, how their fingers grabbed each other, and how heavily they kissed.

 

We didn't hook up after that for a long time.  The episodes of mania that this guy went through were pretty bad, and while I wanted to see him and my bf every night in our bed together, that wasn't happening.  A year or so later this guy texted me out of the blue telling me that he had had my boyfriend hundreds of times without me knowing, half of that before we all met in the threesome described above.  Based on this guys mental history I kinda scoffed at it and thought nothing of it.  I texted my bf saying "oh here he goes again about some BS" and my bf broke down and said it was true.  Here i was on my way to work, with no face-to-face, and im hearing my bf admit that hes cheated, monstrously.  He kept saying he felt really bad, etc, etc., and while I expect many of you who read this will just say thats bullshit, knowing my bf the way I do, it was partially true.  Hes an overall good person in a lot of ways, sensitive, caring, etc.  However, he couldn't escape this boys grasp.  THAT dynamic, the good mixed with the uncontrollable lust, is what did it for me.  The guy told me he never wore a condom with my bf and the amount of loads in him eclipsed absolutely anything I've ever done.  My bf was texting me asking if I was mad at him, and to be honest, I wasn't even at all.  I felt...pride maybe? Contentment? at the very least i was stupid horny over it. I was dying to know what was said, how they loved each other, how crazy the sex had been, but I really only did get half answers.  When I got home that day I demanded my bf fuck me and tell me every single detail from every single time he had gone over there, but alas, again the half answers continued.  I think in some way this was because my bf couldn’t believe I was this turned on by it, and didn’t want to get caught in some entrapping situation, and then also, its because my bf doesn’t do well with begin verbal, at least with me at least.

We had the guy back over multiple times after that.  I got to watch them together understanding their history much more intimately.  I learned that while Im extremely horny and love sex, in the end, seeing them together, how they kissed, how they loved, how they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, was more euphoric and blissful for me than anything else.  I even got to hear my boyfriend whisper lustfully that he loved him, in the midst of the sex multiple times.  I took many pictures of the events, pictures I still masturbate to daily, if not multiple times a day.  I watched that raw cock enter my boyfriend without any questions ask, and I watched this guy try to impregnate him like it was his only mission on earth.  I didn’t interact much.  I wasn’t tied up or in another room, just watching and taking pictures.  I would overwhelmingly, however, middle of the sex get under my bf and start tonguing the cock of the bull who had him in his grasp, as it went in and out of my bfs hole.  And I would also clean his cock once multiple loads had been inserted.

I really don’t know whats gone on since then, the guy hasn’t been around, off in mania again Im sure, but who knows if they have continued to do anything.  He swears he hasn’t, even though Im practically chomping at the bit to hear THAT HE HAS.  Nonetheless, I guess I don’t care.  I want this shy meek and mild bf of mine giving in monstrously in any way he can.  I’ve come to the realization that what my ex had done to me had come full circle, whereas back then what he had done was horrible, now, it was bliss.  I found myself reminiscing about my ex and how much more pleasure I could have extracted from that situation if I only felt the way I do NOW, back then.

Nonetheless I agree with @twinkhunter.  Cheating should be deceptive, it should be destructive, and it should ALWAYS. BE. BAREBACK.  Lust is the greatest of all emotions to me, and man that are bent to its will like my bf should be revered.  Since then my bf and I have been very slutty together, on SOME occasions, (again with the low sex drive thing) but if Im honest doing anything with him has about a 10% euphoria feeling to the 100% I got finding out hes cheating.  Its crazy how wrapped up in it I am.  I masturbate nightly thinking of watching my relationship fall apart, watching lust destroy it, watching my bf become someone elses, and I love every feeling I get from it. 

I certainly have no issues, in fact would love, to chat about this more.  If anyone wants to chat please message me.

I want to chat about it because I've experienced very similar events/emotions with my ex.

[Toploader56]

On 8/22/2021 at 5:16 PM, bottomboib said:

First off, I simply love your mentality.  I love the disgrace and deception that you take pleasure in.  Its intoxicating at the least, and just reading your words makes me shake - thats how much my horniness overtakes me. 

 

I've been cheated on multiple times in two different relationships.  The first was an overly piggy partner, we were both in our early 20s, and the amount of cheating, the type of cheating, was madness.  While he was wild in the bedroom with me, what I found out he was doing behind my back, much later on, was monstrous.  While I had a kinky side at that time, it was pretty much just fantasy, and I was very big into monogamy (go figure) and therefore me finding out about what he had done was devastating to the core.  I was concerned since he had started using drugs, and i knew there was some unprotected sex, but I was just more concerned with the deception and the hardcore nature of it.  He ended up leaving me at 23 to be with a 70 year old, and while I'm sure there were gold digger purposes to it, in the end, he was nasty, and he loved the age difference (I ended up finding out) and it brought him sincere pleasure sleeping with the oldest of men. 

 

That relationship devastated me to the core.  I eventually found a much quieter, more well-put together guy, and experienced a pretty mundane and monogamous relationship with him.  After what i experienced with my ex, he certainly checked all the boxes for faithfulness decency. He wasn't very horny a lot of the time, and he was very vanilla.  As a way to spice up our sex life (I have an absolutely insane sex drive), we started talking about threesomes, and ya know, setting all the ground rules about being open and honest, blah blah blah.   I started playing around with this ultra skinny bi polar guy, he was hot, his dick was huge (im not a size queen, just saying though) and he had a much healthier sex drive.  I had kissed him as hard or harder than my boyfriend, but I knew it was all lust.  My bf had never gotten involved due to his lack of sex drive overall.  Finally one day my bf admitted, since he had been talking to the guy this whole time via messaging apps and stuff, that he actually liked him and wanted to go on a date with him, thinking we would make a good thruple if things worked out.  I was fine with that, our dinner was fine and we took him back to our place.  To my knowledge at that time, it was the first time my bf and him had met. Sitting on the couch he played the "its getting kind of hot in here card" and started to strip.  My bf eyed me because he know i could be uncomfortable about this, with my past relationship (yes, even though I had been with his guy a handful of times, it had always been one on one).  I went for it, kissing him, and my bf immediately approached and took him from me and that part of me inside snapped as I watched them make out.  We got into the bedroom quick, stripping totally, me kissing every part of his body while my bf went down on his big dick (my bf IS a size queen and a cocker sucker through and through).  Normal play ensued until we all came, there was no fucking.  Throughout all this however it was becoming apparently clear, even minute by minute, that I was enjoying them too together more than I was enjoying being involved.  And it was specific things too - i mean i certainly had no problem watching my bf's eyes roll into the back of his head sucking that big dick, but i was more turned on seeing their arms wrap around each other, how their fingers grabbed each other, and how heavily they kissed.

 

We didn't hook up after that for a long time.  The episodes of mania that this guy went through were pretty bad, and while I wanted to see him and my bf every night in our bed together, that wasn't happening.  A year or so later this guy texted me out of the blue telling me that he had had my boyfriend hundreds of times without me knowing, half of that before we all met in the threesome described above.  Based on this guys mental history I kinda scoffed at it and thought nothing of it.  I texted my bf saying "oh here he goes again about some BS" and my bf broke down and said it was true.  Here i was on my way to work, with no face-to-face, and im hearing my bf admit that hes cheated, monstrously.  He kept saying he felt really bad, etc, etc., and while I expect many of you who read this will just say thats bullshit, knowing my bf the way I do, it was partially true.  Hes an overall good person in a lot of ways, sensitive, caring, etc.  However, he couldn't escape this boys grasp.  THAT dynamic, the good mixed with the uncontrollable lust, is what did it for me.  The guy told me he never wore a condom with my bf and the amount of loads in him eclipsed absolutely anything I've ever done.  My bf was texting me asking if I was mad at him, and to be honest, I wasn't even at all.  I felt...pride maybe? Contentment? at the very least i was stupid horny over it. I was dying to know what was said, how they loved each other, how crazy the sex had been, but I really only did get half answers.  When I got home that day I demanded my bf fuck me and tell me every single detail from every single time he had gone over there, but alas, again the half answers continued.  I think in some way this was because my bf couldn’t believe I was this turned on by it, and didn’t want to get caught in some entrapping situation, and then also, its because my bf doesn’t do well with begin verbal, at least with me at least.

We had the guy back over multiple times after that.  I got to watch them together understanding their history much more intimately.  I learned that while Im extremely horny and love sex, in the end, seeing them together, how they kissed, how they loved, how they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, was more euphoric and blissful for me than anything else.  I even got to hear my boyfriend whisper lustfully that he loved him, in the midst of the sex multiple times.  I took many pictures of the events, pictures I still masturbate to daily, if not multiple times a day.  I watched that raw cock enter my boyfriend without any questions ask, and I watched this guy try to impregnate him like it was his only mission on earth.  I didn’t interact much.  I wasn’t tied up or in another room, just watching and taking pictures.  I would overwhelmingly, however, middle of the sex get under my bf and start tonguing the cock of the bull who had him in his grasp, as it went in and out of my bfs hole.  And I would also clean his cock once multiple loads had been inserted.

I really don’t know whats gone on since then, the guy hasn’t been around, off in mania again Im sure, but who knows if they have continued to do anything.  He swears he hasn’t, even though Im practically chomping at the bit to hear THAT HE HAS.  Nonetheless, I guess I don’t care.  I want this shy meek and mild bf of mine giving in monstrously in any way he can.  I’ve come to the realization that what my ex had done to me had come full circle, whereas back then what he had done was horrible, now, it was bliss.  I found myself reminiscing about my ex and how much more pleasure I could have extracted from that situation if I only felt the way I do NOW, back then.

Nonetheless I agree with @twinkhunter.  Cheating should be deceptive, it should be destructive, and it should ALWAYS. BE. BAREBACK.  Lust is the greatest of all emotions to me, and man that are bent to its will like my bf should be revered.  Since then my bf and I have been very slutty together, on SOME occasions, (again with the low sex drive thing) but if Im honest doing anything with him has about a 10% euphoria feeling to the 100% I got finding out hes cheating.  Its crazy how wrapped up in it I am.  I masturbate nightly thinking of watching my relationship fall apart, watching lust destroy it, watching my bf become someone elses, and I love every feeling I get from it. 

I certainly have no issues, in fact would love, to chat about this more.  If anyone wants to chat please message me.

I absolutely love my hubby to be fucked by other guys I can be a cuckold at times , I love to come home to hear a guy pounding his arse upstairs in our bed and love to sneak upstairs to watch , once a guy tied me to a chair pissed on me and made me watch as he fucked my hubby and verbally humiliated me while he did , then got me to suck clean his cock after . Hubby has an ex boyfriend who also fucks him when I am at work and I love to fuck his cum filled hole when I get home from work while my hubby tells me I graphic detail how he enjoyed his ex fucking him makes me cum so hard 

[hntnhole]

I enjoyed a very similar set-up a few years ago.  There was nothing but encouragement on my part for the boy to get his Hole fucked full at any time.  I set up Breeding events just so I could enjoy watching him, and be a part of it too*.  I wonder how many times we'd be somewhere - a bar, walking down WMD, some store, anywhere - and we'd run into some guy that had Bred him at some point, the boy would introduce us, and I'd get big fat smiles from the guy, compliments, all of that, and it turned my Cock to granite every damn time. 

To me, the definition of a "cumdump" includes taking a load off any Cock(s), at any time, at any "safe" location, without hesitancy or a second thought.  These men are my ideal of commitment to their calling.  These men make me nuts - and in a fantastic way.

*Point:  All the pleasure, and NO one got "cheated" on.  All the hedonism, all the thrills, all the Pride I took in watching him servicing as many Cocks as possible, and no one was injured in any way. 

[BootmanLA]

12 hours ago, hntnhole said:

*Point:  All the pleasure, and NO one got "cheated" on.  All the hedonism, all the thrills, all the Pride I took in watching him servicing as many Cocks as possible, and no one was injured in any way. 

Well-taken, which is the point I (and others) have tried to make here. There's nothing wrong, in my opinion, with being a slut. There's something wrong with promising someone you will be monogamous, and then making no real effort to keep your promise. Notice I don't say "and then not being monogamous", because people do submit to temptation, regret it, and aim to do better. Any relationship worth having should be able to survive an occasional slip-up like that, provided it was a slip-up and not a deliberate act of pursuing outside sex secretly. And it's better (again, in my opinion) that a couple acknowledge this might happen, and promise each other to deal with it openly and honestly, with understanding and forgiveness, rather than let it ruin an otherwise good relationship.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, BootmanLA said:

There's nothing wrong, in my opinion, with being a slut.

With "slut" do you mean someone 'who fucks any- and everyone" as opposed to a 'whore', who by definition 'has sex with everyone but you', and do you feel the word 'slut' helps in any way?

The older I get, the more I know that I know nothing yet when I was young I new everything. The thing I know even less than nothing about is other people's relationships and affairs. 
In general though, a truth - or whatever - about what works for me is being as honest and true as possible with oneself as the foundation. "And it must follow, as the night the day - Thou canst not then be false to any man". 

To me, there are worst lies than having sex with someone else outside of the relationship and not telling about it, lying about who they are on a fundamental level for one thing and I've broken with the toxic relationships those lies were told.

If you want an honest and adult relationship, I don't believe in someone 'slipping up'.
What did that partner do: Tripped, fell and accidentally landed with his cock in someone's butt / accidentally landed with his ass on someone's cock / fill in own sexual postition or kink? 

The worst lies being told in relationships have less to with sex, but are "I love you" or "I am your friend / We are friends"...

[hntnhole]

8 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

There's nothing wrong, in my opinion, with being a slut. There's something wrong with promising someone you will be monogamous, and then making no real effort to keep your promise.

100% agreed.  Slutting is something most of us need.  Making promises we don't intend to keep is something we don't need.