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Should we just start with bareback?


Willvand

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On 7/26/2021 at 6:16 AM, Willvand said:

I've been chatting with this guy on grindr for awhile now and we really seem to have a connection. [...] We are both on prep and aren't that promiscuous.

I agree with others: bare is always best!

I also encourage both of you to be completely realistic.

Talk of not being "that promiscuous" should not inform any decision about sexual health. It's vague, unverifiable, about past rather than  future behavior, and medically irrelevant, in that it only takes one encounter with one other sexual partner to introduce an STI.

I'm not suggesting that you worry about STI's, but rather, that you both acknowledge that they are likely to occur eventually. Claims about not being promiscuous offer no protection.

PrEP, even if used by just one of you, will protect you against HIV and limit the impact of some common STIs thanks to frequent testing and faster detection. Be sure that you, and ideally also this guy, are following a recommended PrEP regimen. This means taking Truvada or Descovy (other options will follow in the future) daily or understanding and following the "2-1-1" intermittent dosing rules; receiving HIV and STI tests at least every 3 months plus safety tests at appropriate intervals; and being under the care of a medical professional.

You probably know all of this already, but I mention it because I see many Grindr users who claim to be using PrEP but cannot possibly be, based on what they tell me when I ask them a question or two.

Last but not least, with all the talk of COVID-19 vaccination, deciding to bareback with a new partner is a also great time to review sexual health-related vaccinations with your doctor. Vaccines against Hepatitis A and B, HPV, and meningitis are available.

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  • 4 weeks later...

When bareback sex is involved, you should always be completely honest with yourself, your partner and your doctor. This is what you want, accept the (very low) risks and go for it.

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Your doing all the right things. On prep... Talking with prospective FB... Your adults and if you have had that discussion it will be later on so why not... Way more intimate and you will both enjoy it alot more as it's better sex.

If you start with condom that could just be bad sex which may end things quicker. Take the plunge and his load.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Are we asking the wrong question?

Given you both express the desire to have condom-less sex, seem to be open about it, have a connection and so forth...you have basically three four choices:

  1. Stay friends or keep in contact but be platonic, in which case Condoms/PREP etc. are moot
  2. Stay friends, have sex that is unlikely to transmit HIV (say) but not anal, in which case Condoms/PREP etc is almost moot
  3. Stay friends, have sex that is unlikely to transmit HIV (say) but anal with condoms, but you're posting on breeding.zone so that's unlikely to be something you want
  4. Stay friends, have sex that might transmit HIV (probably insertive anal sex but I suppose fisting and such, or blood sports, would carry a chance too) but is highly unlikely assuming you're both being honest about the PREP (the taking it bit) and either of you don't have HIV or are undetectable

If you have doubts, I'd just let the friendship develop or acquaintance develop so that you might feel comfortable enough to do 3 or 4 eventually; and if you can't keep your hands off each other, then maybe 2.

That said, I wonder out loud what it is you really are asking...

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Bareback is best for me and the guys I hook up with.   It seems to me that if you have a connection with your potential hook-up buddy, you should be having the conversation with him instead of asking strangers on a POZ breeding website who like myself bareback all the time or the majority of the time.  If you would rather start out barebacking with your buddy, I suggest you have that conversation with him.  The conversation could go something like, "You know I have said my preference is condomless sex, and we discussed safe sex until we both feel comfortable.  However, since we are both on PREP, I would be comfortable if we start out having bareback sex.  How do you really feel about it."   Maybe he also wants to bareback too but is afraid to be the first to bring it up.   I wish you luck on whatever the both of you decide.

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On 7/26/2021 at 8:16 AM, Willvand said:

I've been chatting with this guy on grindr for awhile now and we really seem to have a connection. Our first meet will be in public at a coffeeshop or something. We are both on prep and aren't that promiscuous. We have both indicated our preference to have condomless sex and breed. We both agreed that we feel comfortable without condoms after it becomes a regular thing and we get to know each other.  If it looks like we are heading towards bareback sex, should we just start with it?

I only bareback. I always make it clear on Grindr that is what I want. In my opinion, sex with a condom isn't really worth having.

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Guest WelshBBCigarFuck

Personally I have always barebacked, from my first fuck onwards, however that is not for everyone and is a personal preference.

You both are on PrEP and both have a preference for condomless sex and, while PrEP reduces the risk of HIV to negligible (including if one of you was actually positive), it doesn’t prevent any other STD’s so if you wanted to be very careful then get tested together and then drop the condoms after the tests come back.

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Do what you feel most comfortable doing. If that is starting with bareback, go ahead. If you want to use condoms at the beginning, there is a logic to that too. 

Personally I don't have condom sex but there are risks even if you are on PrEP (how much you think that risk would affect you is a different question). 

You say about heading towards bareback: I don't think anyone really uses condoms with their boyfriends. Or very few people at least (e.g. serodiscordant couples without TasP/PrEP). My point here is that everyone is always heading towards bareback sex, but you should do what you think is right for you now, not what you think will be right for you later.

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  • 4 months later...

If you’re both on Prep and not promiscuous you’d be fine to go right to bare. There’s always that worry that maybe they aren’t really on prep but so long as you are you’re fine, aside from other STDs. That’s pretty much why guys go on prep is so they can go right to bareback and getting bred without having to ask questions first. I find that usually when it’s the “we should use condoms to start” usually turns into “we can start bare then wrap” or “go bare but pull out to cum” and usually winds up full barebacking anyhow. I mean…that’s why you go on prep, right?

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