Can I blame a years past encounter for a current infection?

[ErosWired]

This thread chaps my ass and I’ll tell you why - When I ask myself why I survived a brush with death from AIDS when so very many have not, I believe it’s so that I can take my experience and share it with others so that they can avoid the same fate. You’ll find me doing a lot of that here.

Yet in this thread we have a dude who wants to co-opt the real-life HIV experience of me and others like me to do exactly the opposite - to try and encourage and facilitate men getting and spreading HIV. And he’s taking us for fools as well.

 I could answer his question, definitively. But I’ll be goddamned if I do. The more of this unmitigated bullshit I read about a “brotherhood”, the angrier I get. I’ve been as Poz as you get without being dead, and I condemn their “poz brotherhood”.

[hntnhole]

There may be a crucial difference at play here.  

Many - maybe most cumdumps are merely self-centered in their behavior, which engenders all kinds of blather undeserving of attention.  There are very few cumdumps however, who are "others-focused", and devote themselves to the service they render not out of selfishness, but rather out of a sense of a calling, a duty to honor, a facet of themselves to commit their lives to the sexual service of others, not merely themselves.  These few are men who derive their satisfaction no only out of a good fuck, but out of the fact that they are providing a necessary service to others.  Not self-focused, "others"- focused.

Self-centered folks tend to only be impressed by input reinforcing their self centeredness.  Thus, genuine, heartfelt and worthy advice falls on deaf, if not dead ears (or, in this case, eyes).  Others-centered folks tend to derive their satisfaction out of acts of selflessness, and sometimes receiving a first-class fucking to boot.  Please don't let the former prevent the latter from benefitting from your experience, your thoughtfulness, you sense of giving, altruism, and intelligence.  If you'd like, hammer me instead - I have broad shoulders - I can take it - and the notion of denying all the rest of us because of some foolish, defiantly ignorant cretinous (I see spellcheck doesn't like that word, but I do)  dullards would be a sorrow for the entire community.  Fortunately or un, this site is for every guy, regardless of capacity. 

For some of us, or even a few, there is a fairly cerebral, ephemeral aspect to a "brotherhood", in that when we "mate" with others like us, we are - in an almost spiritual way - "connecting" to the Universal Union.  That may sound crazy to most guys - but it's a real thing for me.  I absolutely adore cumdumps, love the mating not only with the hole, but with all the Cocks that have bred it before me.  When I put my mouth to Holes full of loads, that sense of connection is real for me.   In that (admittedly abstract) sense, I actually do feel "a part" of the Universal Lust that I honor and serve.  And where would I, and men like me, be without dedicated cumdumps?  In the fuckjoints, even the most self-centered cumdump probably couldn't utter any foolisness (for obvious reasons), and in those places no one opens their mouths to talk much (fortunately).  In the fuckjoints, it doesn't matter how dull a man is.  Here on BZ, since we're not actually mating in-flagrante - with each other, there's room for thoughtful exchange of ideas.  Some notions are rejected, some are taken with the good faith they're written with.  

Save for some sense of the greater "we", there is hardly enough "connection" while self-centered rutting to be defined as a "brotherhood" of positive men.  That part falls quickly under the weight of intellectual scrutiny.  To be fair, I suppose defining terms falls to the user, and in that regard I write only my own thoughts.  There is not one letter's worth of flattery involved in these thoughts, only what I observe, consider and find to be true.

[Guest]

On 12/21/2021 at 1:31 AM, hntnhole said:

from a bit farther NE than Denmark

Where are you from; to the North-East from Denmark... or from Southern Florida... or from somewhere else...?

Like me I don't think English is your native tongue and although you don't 'sound' (read) Russian for instance, I could of-course be mistaken in this like I could be mistaken about any and everything else in life.

 

 

10 hours ago, hntnhole said:

There may be a crucial difference at play here.  

Many - maybe most cumdumps are merely self-centered in their behavior, which engenders all kinds of blather undeserving of attention.  There are very few cumdumps however, who are "others-focused", and devote themselves to the service they render not out of selfishness, but rather out of a sense of a calling, a duty to honor, a facet of themselves to commit their lives to the sexual service of others, not merely themselves.  These few are men who derive their satisfaction no only out of a good fuck, but out of the fact that they are providing a necessary service to others.  Not self-focused, "others"- focused.

Self-centered folks tend to only be impressed by input reinforcing their self centeredness.  Thus, genuine, heartfelt and worthy advice falls on deaf, if not dead ears (or, in this case, eyes).  Others-centered folks tend to derive their satisfaction out of acts of selflessness, and sometimes receiving a first-class fucking to boot.  Please don't let the former prevent the latter from benefitting from your experience, your thoughtfulness, you sense of giving, altruism, and intelligence.  If you'd like, hammer me instead - I have broad shoulders - I can take it - and the notion of denying all the rest of us because of some foolish, defiantly ignorant cretinous (I see spellcheck doesn't like that word, but I do)  dullards would be a sorrow for the entire community.  Fortunately or un, this site is for every guy, regardless of capacity. 

For some of us, or even a few, there is a fairly cerebral, ephemeral aspect to a "brotherhood", in that when we "mate" with others like us, we are - in an almost spiritual way - "connecting" to the Universal Union.  That may sound crazy to most guys - but it's a real thing for me.  I absolutely adore cumdumps, love the mating not only with the hole, but with all the Cocks that have bred it before me.  When I put my mouth to Holes full of loads, that sense of connection is real for me.   In that (admittedly abstract) sense, I actually do feel "a part" of the Universal Lust that I honor and serve.  And where would I, and men like me, be without dedicated cumdumps?  In the fuckjoints, even the most self-centered cumdump probably couldn't utter any foolisness (for obvious reasons), and in those places no one opens their mouths to talk much (fortunately).  In the fuckjoints, it doesn't matter how dull a man is.  Here on BZ, since we're not actually mating in-flagrante - with each other, there's room for thoughtful exchange of ideas.  Some notions are rejected, some are taken with the good faith they're written with.  

Save for some sense of the greater "we", there is hardly enough "connection" while self-centered rutting to be defined as a "brotherhood" of positive men.  That part falls quickly under the weight of intellectual scrutiny.  To be fair, I suppose defining terms falls to the user, and in that regard I write only my own thoughts.  There is not one letter's worth of flattery involved in these thoughts, only what I observe, consider and find to be true.

Hm.

I understand you have a lot of feelings about barebacking and its pozzible outcome - if you would forgive the pun.
Probably all of us here on BZ do and at least I personally recognise this.

 

In etiquette their is a guideline to - when celebrating a party - not to discuss politics or religious/spiritual subjects to avoid tempers overheating and thus prevent people fighting and ruining the festivities for everyone invited. However this is tough advice to follow when our individual shared experience with sex, have the worldwide pandemic of the HIV-virus (which causes AIDS) in common.

(In this way it may be not unlike the (still infant) COVID-19-pandemic which is effecting everyone in a way, perhaps similar to how the existence of AIDS has very deeply changed the lives of myself and all other gay and bi-sexual men - just because anal penetrative sex makes us much more susceptible to the HIV-virus.
This includes men Topping - I might add. Bottoms have an even higher risk but fucking an ass as a top still caries a much higher risk to become HIV-infected than when fucking a woman's cunt/vagina as a man with our cock without wearing a condom).

So it would be a bit silly not to discuss the reality of our lives and that's why I'm happy we ar sharing our thoughts here on BreedingZone. However I think your focus on your search for what you want to be 'true' and this talk about your morality (altruism vs. self-centeredness...?) and the spiritual aspects you say you experience - while ignoring medical and scientific facts - has the risk of blinding someone to Reality.

 

Because of HIV and AIDS we've had a Sword of Damocles hanging over our head or have even been struck by it like it did @ErosWired. 
Like other brave men here on BZ he has just told us very much in very few words if you really want to listen and hear it. There is beauty in his words because of the simplicity and truth in them

I'm deeply sorry to read you don't respond in any way to what he has just said about his personal experience and the deadly effects of AIDS. If you and @Str8ginger would share half a brain between you, both of you would be aware that dying from this disease is not a very pretty or glamorous way to leave our mortal coil. Perishing from any decease which slowly causes the body to fail is a terrible way to die and whatever awful disease doesn't really matter very much; Be it cancer, dementia, Covid-19 or - indeed - AIDS.

 

HIV and even AIDS nowadays are no longer a death-sentence - if we have free or affordable acces to antiretroviral medication, take these every day for the rest of our lives and while these combinations of drugs still stay in the lead in the fight with the mutating HIV-viruses in our world. We can even feel safe and still bareback by swallowing PrEP and this way avoid becoming infected. 

This does not take away the stigma against people living with HIV and the widespread - idiotic - view that having HIV is their or our own fault. In this way - how people treat HIV-patients - it does indeed differ from Covid-19 and these patients, I think.
At the same time antiretroviral drugs are very heavy-duty meds which can cause side-effects, put a heavy burden on your body and the long term effects of which are still unclear and still studied now - some 40 years after the emergence of AIDS - the first generation of our fellow men - the HIV survivors - are reaching a certain age.
In this way comparing the two - AIDS with Covid-19 - I feel is probably laughable and may sound like a very bad and even cruel joke. 

But (to coin a phrase):
I am...

Like we sometimes still see with HIV-viruses their exists denialism concerning Covid-19 - Probably just because people are asked to change how we do things in both these cases / with both these viruses. 
Large numbers of the general population react hysterically to Covid-19 vaccination - seeing threats that aren't there or are at-least highly exaggerated and this reactions sometimes even manifest in a violent way. I think this is the same hysteria I often still recognise when HIV and AIDS are concerned.

There was a conversation here on BZ where a fellow-member over-simplified the reasons why we still bareback despite the threat of HIV, AIDS or being condemned to life-long medication as a result - to that it just physically feels better to fuck without a condom. I don't agree with this and that's because Lust and Sex are not only physical but also make up our natural instincts and emotional feelings. Sometimes even love is part of the equation. They are part of whatever it is that makes us human.

 

As you who are reading this has found BreedingZone ([think before following links] https://breeding.zone) and are perhaps a fellow-member I assume you fuck without a condom or really want to. You are or want to be a bare-backer. This means just like me you have to relate to an innate danger to something you passionately want to do and is fundamentally part of who you are. 

Like me you may think, fantasise, joke or even fetishise this danger and Reality of life. I think this makes you a mensch so I welcome you as being part of the Human race.

This is though not mythologie. This is life. That's why I have little patience with lies being told by some married heterosexual guy who isn't 'getting any' with his own wife anymore and claiming he's jealous and like a spoiled child whines and whimpers 'we' are not 'giving' him HIV and AIDS.

This is not an ice-cream you   spoiled   little   brat    and I am going to say to both of you the same thing I almost-always want to tell anyone who would condemn me for bare-backing and even for not being on PrEP while simply, naturally just practicing what I wholeheartedly am:

Fuck you.

 

In private you or someone like you @hntnhole perhaps assumed because of my faith we might share ideas, feelings an viewpoints on this.
We probably don't any of these.
My personal beliefs and convictions are about being real and truthful about the world, reality and myself - to myself and sometimes to others one can trust. They are not based on what supposedly is 'true' because any religious book's ridiculous claim on the truth or because it has been 'revealed' to us by some make-believe Deity.

@Str8ginger and you might feel alone and wanting to be part of a 'brotherhood'.
I would get it. We are - in the end - all alone. It's what has been called la condition humaine. Searching for 'truth' in mythical fantasies, revelations and concepts like you apparently seem to be doing probably will only create stronger barriers to really connect with other people.

That is your choice but I'll be fucked if I let your words stand without a response for anybody reading this post here on BZ.

 

All this is just about life being - and it occurs to me: not unlike good porn and sex - Hard, Raw and not a fairytale and life certainly isn't perfect.
Life does not need to be because just as the men I have loved the most in my life its faults, flaws and imperfections are only making it - sometimes heart breakingly - more beautiful.

 

Hail, De Profundis and passionately I wish a Merry Yuletide to most of you

[hntnhole]

2 hours ago, BareLover666 said:

Where are you from; to the North-East from Denmark... or from Southern Florida... or from somewhere else...

Born in Sweden, grew up in the Midwest, moved to FL 12 years ago.  

As to the rest of your text, it reads like you were drunk, high, or both.  Thanks for your discourse on the initial contact questions.  Have a great life.

[Str8gingerdefence]

5 hours ago, BareLover666 said:

Where are you from; to the North-East from Denmark... or from Southern Florida... or from somewhere else...?

Like me I don't think English is your native tongue and although you don't 'sound' (read) Russian for instance, I could of-course be mistaken in this like I could be mistaken about any and everything else in life.

 

 

Hm.

I understand you have a lot of feelings about barebacking and its pozzible outcome - if you would forgive the pun.
Probably all of us here on BZ do and at least I personally recognise this.

 

In etiquette their is a guideline to - when celebrating a party - not to discuss politics or religious/spiritual subjects to avoid tempers overheating and thus prevent people fighting and ruining the festivities for everyone invited. However this is tough advice to follow when our individual shared experience with sex, have the worldwide pandemic of the HIV-virus (which causes AIDS) in common.

(In this way it may be not unlike the (still infant) COVID-19-pandemic which is effecting everyone in a way, perhaps similar to how the existence of AIDS has very deeply changed the lives of myself and all other gay and bi-sexual men - just because anal penetrative sex makes us much more susceptible to the HIV-virus.
This includes men Topping - I might add. Bottoms have an even higher risk but fucking an ass as a top still caries a much higher risk to become HIV-infected than when fucking a woman's cunt/vagina as a man with our cock without wearing a condom).

So it would be a bit silly not to discuss the reality of our lives and that's why I'm happy we ar sharing our thoughts here on BreedingZone. However I think your focus on your search for what you want to be 'true' and this talk about your morality (altruism vs. self-centeredness...?) and the spiritual aspects you say you experience - while ignoring medical and scientific facts - has the risk of blinding someone to Reality.

 

Because of HIV and AIDS we've had a Sword of Damocles hanging over our head or have even been struck by it like it did @ErosWired. 
Like other brave men here on BZ he has just told us very much in very few words if you really want to listen and hear it. There is beauty in his words because of the simplicity and truth in them

I'm deeply sorry to read you don't respond in any way to what he has just said about his personal experience and the deadly effects of AIDS. If you and @Str8ginger would share half a brain between you, both of you would be aware that dying from this disease is not a very pretty or glamorous way to leave our mortal coil. Perishing from any decease which slowly causes the body to fail is a terrible way to die and whatever awful disease doesn't really matter very much; Be it cancer, dementia, Covid-19 or - indeed - AIDS.

 

HIV and even AIDS nowadays are no longer a death-sentence - if we have free or affordable acces to antiretroviral medication, take these every day for the rest of our lives and while these combinations of drugs still stay in the lead in the fight with the mutating HIV-viruses in our world. We can even feel safe and still bareback by swallowing PrEP and this way avoid becoming infected. 

This does not take away the stigma against people living with HIV and the widespread - idiotic - view that having HIV is their or our own fault. In this way - how people treat HIV-patients - it does indeed differ from Covid-19 and these patients, I think.
At the same time antiretroviral drugs are very heavy-duty meds which can cause side-effects, put a heavy burden on your body and the long term effects of which are still unclear and still studied now - some 40 years after the emergence of AIDS - the first generation of our fellow men - the HIV survivors - are reaching a certain age.
In this way comparing the two - AIDS with Covid-19 - I feel is probably laughable and may sound like a very bad and even cruel joke. 

But (to coin a phrase):
I am...

Like we sometimes still see with HIV-viruses their exists denialism concerning Covid-19 - Probably just because people are asked to change how we do things in both these cases / with both these viruses. 
Large numbers of the general population react hysterically to Covid-19 vaccination - seeing threats that aren't there or are at-least highly exaggerated and this reactions sometimes even manifest in a violent way. I think this is the same hysteria I often still recognise when HIV and AIDS are concerned.

There was a conversation here on BZ where a fellow-member over-simplified the reasons why we still bareback despite the threat of HIV, AIDS or being condemned to life-long medication as a result - to that it just physically feels better to fuck without a condom. I don't agree with this and that's because Lust and Sex are not only physical but also make up our natural instincts and emotional feelings. Sometimes even love is part of the equation. They are part of whatever it is that makes us human.

 

As you who are reading this has found BreedingZone ([think before following links] [think before following links] https://breeding.zone) and are perhaps a fellow-member I assume you fuck without a condom or really want to. You are or want to be a bare-backer. This means just like me you have to relate to an innate danger to something you passionately want to do and is fundamentally part of who you are. 

Like me you may think, fantasise, joke or even fetishise this danger and Reality of life. I think this makes you a mensch so I welcome you as being part of the Human race.

This is though not mythologie. This is life. That's why I have little patience with lies being told by some married heterosexual guy who isn't 'getting any' with his own wife anymore and claiming he's jealous and like a spoiled child whines and whimpers 'we' are not 'giving' him HIV and AIDS.

This is not an ice-cream you   spoiled   little   brat    and I am going to say to both of you the same thing I almost-always want to tell anyone who would condemn me for bare-backing and even for not being on PrEP while simply, naturally just practicing what I wholeheartedly am:

Fuck you.

 

In private you or someone like you @hntnhole perhaps assumed because of my faith we might share ideas, feelings an viewpoints on this.
We probably don't any of these.
My personal beliefs and convictions are about being real and truthful about the world, reality and myself - to myself and sometimes to others one can trust. They are not based on what supposedly is 'true' because any religious book's ridiculous claim on the truth or because it has been 'revealed' to us by some make-believe Deity.

@Str8ginger and you might feel alone and wanting to be part of a 'brotherhood'.
I would get it. We are - in the end - all alone. It's what has been called la condition humaine. Searching for 'truth' in mythical fantasies, revelations and concepts like you apparently seem to be doing probably will only create stronger barriers to really connect with other people.

That is your choice but I'll be fucked if I let your words stand without a response for anybody reading this post here on BZ.

 

All this is just about life being - and it occurs to me: not unlike good porn and sex - Hard, Raw and not a fairytale and life certainly isn't perfect.
Life does not need to be because just as the men I have loved the most in my life its faults, flaws and imperfections are only making it - sometimes heart breakingly - more beautiful.

 

Hail, De Profundis and passionately I wish a Merry Yuletide to most of you

1. I asked a genuine question here..

2. The question did have a hidden agenda.

3. You felt you got trapped by a chaser

4. That angered you.

5. I tried to be better and leave.

6. I took your  "you could be sick now" and thought about it and got tested.

7. You know nothing about me.. I could be a liar.. 

8. You're still angry.. because you sell yourself a lie over bareback and disease separation, many heterosexual people would label you a disease chaser simply for being careless..

9. I got tested over your words.. anonymously.. 

10.. nobody has been endangered while I wait for results.. 

11. Even my wife now knows I maybe sick from that incident. She isn't in danger... 

12. Apply to the admin to remove this post..

13. I will not change for you. Your hypocritical words fall on deaf ears

14. I'll not say sorry to an angry bully 

15. Thanks for educating me on my own possible situation of health. 

16. Your anger will never change anyone.  Your initial response of my health had no anger.. GO BACK TO THAT. 

[Str8gingerdefence]

This account is being deleted too.. imcould care a less for a hypocritical website and its senior bullies. Have a nice Christmas asshole.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Str8gingerdefence said:

1. I asked a genuine question here..

2. The question did have a hidden agenda.

3. You felt you got trapped by a chaser

4. That angered you.

5. I tried to be better and leave.

6. I took your  "you could be sick now" and thought about it and got tested.

7. You know nothing about me.. I could be a liar.. 

8. You're still angry.. because you sell yourself a lie over bareback and disease separation, many heterosexual people would label you a disease chaser simply for being careless..

9. I got tested over your words.. anonymously.. 

10.. nobody has been endangered while I wait for results.. 

11. Even my wife now knows I maybe sick from that incident. She isn't in danger... 

12. Apply to the admin to remove this post..

13. I will not change for you. Your hypocritical words fall on deaf ears

14. I'll not say sorry to an angry bully 

15. Thanks for educating me on my own possible situation of health. 

16. Your anger will never change anyone.  Your initial response of my health had no anger.. GO BACK TO THAT. 

You're a christian, aren't you?
Or at least I think so, although you don't recognise passion when you read and mistake it for anger.

There are a few points I would like to react to:

2. Was something several of us notices yes. I don't think people like hidden agendas. Would you?
but...:
1. So a genuine question while having a hidden agenda. Interesting combination. Are you a Catholic by any chance?

6. Good you got tested. I hope you, your wife and anyone else you've had intimate relations with won't have HIV or any other STD.

7. I agree with the second part of your statement. 

10. How many people were in endangered, before you got tested and after (the first time) you were at risk for HIV? It has been years, hasn't it?

 

1 hour ago, Str8gingerdefence said:

This account is being deleted too.. imcould care a less for a hypocritical website and its senior bullies. Have a nice Christmas asshole.

It's called Yuletide in my belief system, but thank you and goodbye.