The “thrill” of Hard to Get - Turn On or No?

[Leather69]

@norfolkuk 

There are sh.t loads of guys who have a pici on here or on a web site... just one (and they are copied from other sites).. be carful what u are looking for.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, BlackDude said:

There is really no such thing as “hard to get.” What that really means is they are deciding  if they want to fuck you while waiting for a better option. 
 

 

BINGO!  I am NOT hard to get, but I'm sure plenty of locals think I'm playing that way.  I'm vers and often get online thinking I want to top/bttm/flip.  If I had my way, every single hookup would be a small group of vers guys, I am often browsing for the right guys to pull together to try for a group....sometimes it happens kind of fast, sometimes I find some hot sluts for "later".  If a guy I'm into hits me up I don't wanna alienate him and legit wanna fuck with him another time (for real!) - maybe when I am in total top or total bottom mode.  I also OFTEN plan my sex ahead with regulars and often hop online a couple hours before a planned hookup with a reg buddy seeing if I can find a 3rd  to join.  

[Guest]

I'm guilty of being "hard to get" on grindr etc

It's just my insecurity because I don't know you. So I like to chat before hooking up. Plus I like a spark.

So much easier to shut me up in real life, just shove a cock in my mouth.

[ErosWired]

3 hours ago, justsexnowatl said:

I also OFTEN plan my sex ahead with regulars and often hop online a couple hours before a planned hookup with a reg buddy seeing if I can find a 3rd  to join.

How does this work for you? I find planned sexual encounters to be the most fragile of commitments - they’re like baking a soufflé - the slightest jostle and they fall flat. I never put any faith in a hookup request for any later than the coming evening, even for a local regular, and even then I’ve been known to rinse out my guts only to be canceled last-minute. And anonymous? “I’ll stop by on my way home from work” practically never actually happens. What’s your secret?

[john54476]

@ErosWired I could have not said it better myself. To one of the earlier comments about "what are you going to do to me" I get that often where the guy is just wanting to fantasize and has no intention of anything real time, thats when I hang up

[hntnhole]

Both of the above responses from ErosWired and John54476 are perfect illustrations of why I ditched the online cruising apps some time ago.  I realize that not every guy lives close to a fuckjoint/tubs/bar with backroom/ etc., and thus feels trapped into relying on the unreliable.  Which is why, when I had no more reason to stay in the Midwest (passing of friends, family, life-partner), I spent some time sniffing out the kinds of places I could live my life and live my Lusts.  I'd heard lots of good things about a number of places, and decided on Ft.L.  Now, there's a pigpen close by, and anytime I want to wallow, it's a 10 minute drive away, and the guys I want to share my Lusts with are already there.  No online bullshit - they're all there, ready and waiting.  There's also a rather nice tubs with all the accoutrements for a man like me, and while I've never been a fan of the "terry-towel-twist", it's there and I can go if I want to.  There are also gay guesthouses with no rules about fucking other guests; some offer "day-passes", so guys like me can go over to - oh - Inn Leather, for example, and make a day of it.  

I also realize that most men can't simply pull up stakes and move.  Weighing the requirements that seem to pile up in our lives can be burdensome, but I would recommend to everyone doing what planning you can in advance, and when you're free of responsibilities elsewhere, find somewhere else to live in *real* Freedom.  Planning in advance will allow you to jump when the opportunity presents itself.