Can a Top/Top relationship work or vice versa?

[Philip]

Has anyone had any success in dating or having a relationship when both partners are both Tops, or both of you are Bottoms?

I am a Top Vers, and have had the most success dating men who have identified themselves as Bottom.

When I date Tops, I have no trouble being the bottom in the bedroom. But I find that we tend to disagree more on just about everything. It’s like none of us wants to lose an argument. Is this a ‘Top/Alpha’ trait? Bottoms tends to go with the flow more, carefree, so we don’t end up disagreeing as much, it’s just so much easier. I know I am generalizing here, please be nice.

[tallslenderguy]

i don't think there is a yes or no answer to this question. 

Personally, i think sexual compatibility is an important factor in an intimate, LTR.  i look for guys who are self aware and can articulate about who they are and what they want.It's always surprising to me how many guys do not have that understanding or do that. But we are not generally taught how to do that in school or by our parents, so guys either figure it out, or not.  

i think nature demonstrates and teaches us that opposites attract. A negatively charged ion and a positively charged ion attract and bond. Put two north or south ends of a magnet together and they repel each other. i look for opposite because there's not only the attraction and bonding factors, but i think with chemistry, there can also be symbiosis.

For a simple example, a Total Top and a total bottom work sexually because each of their needs gets fulfilled in meeting the needs of the other (yes, i know i am simplifying). i think one of the biggest relationship killers is a quid pro quo approach to sex.  I.e., i did ___________ for you, you should do___________ for me. my need as a bottom is not met just from getting penetrated, fucked, bred, i also need/want the factor of my Top needing/wanting to penetrate, fuck and breed me. i've found the opposite to be true as well, i.e., a Top who want/needs me to want/need them. i know this is not universally true, but i think it's important when talking relationship/LTR.

ideally, i want to communicate and  find out as many of our kinks (to me a "kink" is just a general label for sexual needs/desires) we have in common. To me, the more we have, the better the chemistry. E.g., He is Total Top and i am total bottom, that's foundational for me. But then we both discover we love WS. To me, that's another compatibie "kink' that adds to our chemistry of attraction and provides another bonding place. The more bonding places, the stronger the relationship. 

lol, i've thought a lot about this.

Edited January 24, 2022 by tallslenderguy

[evilqueerpig]

Two tops can have a strong, even loving friendship, but sexually, I'd advise against it.  Wanting the unattainable would ultimately destroy the relationship.