Advice on hooking up with a much younger guy (legal)

[BannedWord]

5 hours ago, drscorpio said:

I have several points:

• A teenager who claims to have no ID to show you is younger than he claims to be. Even if you do not drive, you need to have some form of government ID to get by in the world. 
• There is no way for an adult over the age of 20 to meet a 16-year-old they are not related to in public without attracting undue attention. 

Well thought and phrased. Not even considering issues of entrapment that might surround this, it's just dicey to expect that the younger adult in the equation is mentally or emotionally equipped for what may happen. What happens if things go in a specific direction, and the experience is not what the younger guy expected? I'd venture that 'buyer's remorse' might make an appearance and suddenly a he-said/he-said account occurs. Odds aren't in the favor of the elder in that situation who "should have known better".

5 hours ago, drscorpio said:

Personally, I think the age of consent should be younger. For the vast majority of human history, 14-15-year-olds were setting up households and raising children. But I get that we don't want 13-year-olds consenting to sex with adults. The range of 16-18 for age of consent seems like a reasonable compromise that we have settled on. 

• The reason so many young people today seem so immature and incapable of making good decisions is that we have extended childhood into their teens and adolescence into their twenties. I have taught college for 30+ years, and the maturity of a freshman in college has plummeted over that time. My parents starting letting me have some independence in my early teens. As I proved I could handle it to them, they granted me more. Students show up at university now with no conception of how to take care of themselves because they aren't being allowed any chance to experience risk and consequences. Lots of them totally crash and burn. 

Between helicopter parenting, entitlement mentality, and guilt-ridden working parents never saying "no", there isn't a sense of responsibility in this generation (or the prior one in many cases). And there are non consequences to actions. 

I live in a state with Consenting age is 18. As hot as it might seem to some to go too much lower than that (I did 17 when I was 29, but consenting age was 16 in that state), I recognize the maturity levels are stunted. I agree I wouldn't want to go near anyone teetering close to that with a barge pole (let alone my own pole). 

6 hours ago, drscorpio said:

• Grindr (and the other apps) require users to be 18, but they make no effort to enforce this requirement. 

THIS. ^ Nobody checks, no one makes the effort to validate. We get catfish, but we also get those who are using 18 and 19 as an age on these sites as code for 15, 16 & 17.  Oddly, this topic came up for me on another site recently where a very attractive young dude (19 on his profile) began talking to me and as we got deeper into chatting, it turns out he's 4 months shy of being legal in my state. While I don't believe it's an entrapment scheme, I still have a conscience enough to know when to walk away. Even if 17 were consenting age here, I'd be asking where he was in 2004 and the answer would be "developing a spinal cord". 

We might be able to fuck, but we'd definitely not be on an intellectual, emotional or conversational level.

[BootmanLA]

8 hours ago, drscorpio said:

For the vast majority of human history, 14-15-year-olds were setting up households and raising children. But I get that we don't want 13-year-olds consenting to sex with adults. The range of 16-18 for age of consent seems like a reasonable compromise that we have settled on. 

The first sentence is only "half plus" true. Once humans settled down into urban settings (no longer hunter-gathering, but practicing agriculture and animal husbandry), an age gap quickly developed between typical couples. For females, 14-15 was considered a marriagable age because wives were expected to keep house (a much more labor-intensive, but not mentally tasking, experience in those days) and to bear and rear children. It was very UNcommon for a male that age as he would not have had time to develop a means of supporting his family. Men were usually well into their twenties - or later - before marrying a (frequently much) younger woman. In an era with essentially no functioning birth control, the ability to provide - pretty much immediately - for a family was essential.

This system also accommodated a fact with which egalitarians are sometimes uncomfortable: adolescent boys and girls mature, both physically and mentally, at different times and different rates. Whatever the reason, we know that a 15-year old girl is frequently more mentally and psychologically mature than a boy two or three years older. We can't realistically make different rules for boys and girls at this point in history, but that's the context of how things "used to be."

[BootmanLA]

8 hours ago, drscorpio said:

But I get that we don't want 13-year-olds consenting to sex with adults. The range of 16-18 for age of consent seems like a reasonable compromise that we have settled on. 

Also meant to mention: for essentially the entirety of that time, the females in question weren't consenting to anything. They were essentially property that transferred in possession from her father to her husband, and "wifely duties" were part of the bargain.

As recently as the late 20th century, in many states in the U.S. it was legally impossible for a man to rape his wife as consent to sex was impliedly recognized as part of the marriage, period.

Our modern concept of consent is really less than about 50-60 years old.

[PigBoyDallas]

On 4/20/2022 at 2:39 PM, Breedingandseeding said:

When I was 16 I used to lie and pretend I was 18 so I could hook up with daddies. I knew exactly what I wanted despite the age of consent laws in my area being 18. Most European countries set it at 15 or 16.

a couple of the guys I even later told them I was younger than I first stated but I wasn’t going to get them in trouble (or say my age in writing over the apps). Loved the [banned word] aspect of it and so did they. No one got in trouble and I’m a well adjusted adult now despite plenty of hookups with older strangers 

This pretty much was me at the same age, except I was interested in younger guys 18-30. Buds my age did the same thing too and we weren't looking to cause trouble, just have fun. I like to think I'm pretty well adjusted, am in college and will be graduating fairly soon. I've a lot of generalizations about guys my age and younger and wow...enlightening to say the least. This is why I stick to guys around my own age.

[VersGuyAnon]

I get most of my sex at the sauna these days (by choice). Last time I went, much to my amazement, I was fucked by two different guys who would have been in their 20s. I'm easily old enough to be their father. One of the guy may not have known I was an older guy, as he fucked/bred me through a glory hole when I had the door closed (although he may have seen me go in). The other one definitely knew I was an older guy, as I was also backed against a glory hole but had the cubicle door open. 

Both of them were amazing fucks and both loaded me. Having noticed them earlier, I didn't approach them as i figured they wouldn't be interested in me. One of them had been trying to get loads as well, but amazingly didn't seem to have any luck. Both were good looking, sexy guys. 

My advice re hooking up with younger guys? Don't make assumptions. These guys who fucked and bred me really knew what they were doing and one at least seemed very happy doing it with an older guy. 

[120DaysofSodom]

Why would you even consider this?

Just dont.

 

[downtownswallow]

I have so very little in common with much younger men that my interest in having sex with one of them is close to zero.  I find older Tops and Tops my own age to be the best fit for me.