topdad Posted June 27, 2011 Report Share Posted June 27, 2011 I'm in a long term (8 years) relationship, but we're both free to play on the side. Both my partner and I are negative and we have a rule that we should only play safe on the side. About half a year I met Rubio (fake name for this discussion), a Filipino Broadway dancer. He's 26 years old (much younger than I am), extremely attractive, beautiful body, and a submissive total bottom. It was supposed to be a one time thing, but it was so hot we decided to meet up again. Now we're fucking once a week, and sessions are actually getting longer and longer - sometimes over four hours. Rubio has been swallowing for the past two months, but I sense that's no longer enough for him. About six weeks ago he started complaining about condoms ("Why do we have to bother with that - we trust each other, don't we?") Now Rubio's urge to take daddy's load has become much more pressing and he's asking that we both get tested so i can take him bareback. I confess I'm extremely tempted. I think about his beautiful boyhole throughout the day and the feeling of his bare ass walls pressed against my shaft. When I eat his ass, I let my tongue glide over those meaty, pink and hairless skin folds and think what they would feel like wrapped around my cock. When I close my eyes and dump my load down his throat, I think we both feel that my load belongs somewhere else. So I'm really torn. I don't want to betray my lover but I'm desperate to fuck Rubio raw and I think he feels he has earned my load now. I'm curious if anyone here has been in the same situation and what you would do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingulphus Posted June 27, 2011 Report Share Posted June 27, 2011 My opinion is that your primary responsibility is to your partner. Rules can change, but it's important that both parties agree to those changes. If 'Rubio' tests negative, and reliably practices safe sex outside of your relationship with him, then the risks are quite low if you bareback him. If that practice would impact negatively upon my relationship with my husband, I'd have to think long and hard if it was worth it. Boys on the side are fun and exciting, but it's the man you come home to at the end of the day who really matters. On the other hand, your partner may have already broken the rule with his extra-marital partners. Discussion is paramount! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhoenixGeoff Posted June 27, 2011 Report Share Posted June 27, 2011 (edited) Have you considered a 3-way? If your partner (Fiance? Congrats on the recent vote!) is versatile, that may be the way to bring this whole thing to the point where everybody's comfortable with barebacking (assuming you all test negative) in this situation. If you're the more dominant type you could probably even get into a bit of a scene where you get them to fuck each other as you watch. The one thing you absolutely, positively must not do is start barebacking Rubio on the side without getting the OK from your partner. If Rubio's the one pushing you to fuck him raw, I guaran-fucking-tee he's taken loads from other guys, and based on your relationship as fuckbuds, I highly, highly doubt you're the only guy he's fucking around with. What you can do is talk to your partner about the situation. Maybe he'd be cool with opening things up to allow barebacking with other guys under certain circumstances. You never know until you ask. But your primary obligation is to your partner and the relationship, not your fuckbud on the side or your own horniness. Another way of looking at it: could you handle the worst-case scenario? What if, Dog forbid, Rubio actually turned out to be positive (or had some other STD) and passed it to you without either of you knowing it, and you subsequently infected your partner? How would you feel? How would he feel? What would that mean for the relationship? Edited June 27, 2011 by MascMountainMan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BBSeroMan Posted June 28, 2011 Report Share Posted June 28, 2011 Fuck it. Load that bitch up Bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest slobbvers Posted June 28, 2011 Report Share Posted June 28, 2011 I agree with majority. First responsibility is to your partner. The three way sounds like a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hungry_hole Posted June 28, 2011 Report Share Posted June 28, 2011 ...If Rubio's the one pushing you to fuck him raw, I guaran-fucking-tee he's taken loads from other guys, and based on your relationship as fuckbuds, I highly, highly doubt you're the only guy he's fucking around with...QUOTE]I would also bet that that bottom is already taking loads from other guys. Especially if he's hot. Even some bottoms become tops in the presence of a young hot hole. ...Another way of looking at it: could you handle the worst-case scenario? What if, Dog forbid, Rubio actually turned out to be positive (or had some other STD) and passed it to you without either of you knowing it, and you subsequently infected your partner? How would you feel? How would he feel? What would that mean for the relationship?... Very good point and discussing the issue with partner. We are all men and we all understand each other need for just sex, impersonal, sometimes anon, with adventures. For me the only issue that HIV-neg guys face in a relationship is the barebacking with others. But talking is essential. The 3-way idea may be another scenario. I sometimes think that guys in monogamous-because-of-STDs relationships can take a few months break with sex. And each, on their own can fuck around, bareback if they wish. I find that the most important feelings for a partner are not the sexual ones. These can continue if the male couple is taking a break with sex. Of course, when bringing back the sex to the relationship, testing has to take place and appropriate window periods respected. It's just that for me being sexually monogamous "forever" makes no sense, even as a older guy. I couldn't imagine being in my 20's and committing to monogamy forever. Monogamy is for lesbians! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbblktop4u Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 fuck him bb and dont say anything to your bf. if something happens either you will break up or stay together either way its not the end of the world. if you really care just take the boy and have him checked... if he is clean fuck him bb and dont say anything. Remember its easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VC Yadomaru Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 I suggest you go for it, as it's what I would do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbbtm20 Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 I say keep the LTR with your partner first in your mind. It's an eight-year relationship, and it's not worth destroying your man's trust (or possibly health) over some young slut's demands to go bareback. If you let "Rubio" down, you're only out a young fuckbud. If you let your partner down, you're out much, much more... From the sound of things, the safe-only arrangement isn't optimal for you. Perhaps you and the bf need to work out a new arrangement, one that will have you less tempted to go get tested and start breeding whatever piece you may have on the side. In the meantime, save that level of intimacy for the man who comes first in your life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rawplayboston Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 hey man- I'm in the exact same boat! been with my partner for 8 years, and we have an open relationship with some rules including no barebacking. I've had sex with a few guys over the years and played safe, but 8 months ago met a guy and we really hit it off, and I didn't want to not fuck him because of a condom issue (he never uses condoms and is poz). I've been fucking him a couple times a month bareback and it is the hottest sex I've had in a long time. I get checked every couple of months and no STDs so far. It's tricky, because there is some truth to the emotional honesty piece, but some rules just don't work. I'm trying to figure out how to address this with my partner too - let me know how things turn out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bottomcub85 Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 Rubio doesn't know how lucky he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbblktop4u Posted June 29, 2011 Report Share Posted June 29, 2011 okay maybe leave your bf a link to this forum and see what he says! And I think the fact that you are even asking is you want to do it and that you gut feeling saying its okay! the problem is we dont listen to ours guts/intuition as much as we should. You are all grownups and know the possible consequences risk vs. reward! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MightyMouth Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 I agree with the guys who say your responsibility is first to your partner. Rubio is almost certainly getting it raw from other dudes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jb2000 Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 sorry but i agree with the others...he's getting it raw with other guys too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbblktop4u Posted July 4, 2011 Report Share Posted July 4, 2011 i don't think there is really a question whether or not Rubio is fucking or getting other raw dicks. I am pretty sure he is as well, but he is not the one living by some bs rule the other dude is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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