Gay guy in small village

[hntnhole]

On 4/6/2023 at 3:01 PM, Marsian said:

I suppose it feeds somehow my full of lust dark side

#1)  Some may interpret the "dark" side as somehow unworthy, less-that whatever the side of "light" is, and I think that' a self-defeating notion.  I realize there may be a bit of a language barrier, but know that you are one of the sons of Light, not darkness.  All of us - every one of us - are that.  

 

On 4/6/2023 at 3:01 PM, Marsian said:

So I'm lying that I  have a relationship

#2)  No, you are not "lying".  You are protecting yourself from the judgements of others, and that's something only prejudice on the part of others derives from.  So, protecting who you are, maintaining your privacy is hardly "a lie".  Females are constantly on the prowl for guys to ensnare, and good for you for protecting who you are.  You owe these girls exactly nothing.  

You reference the phrase "atm", which I assume is "at the moment".  I would ask you to consider that the current situation is indeed "momentary", in the grand scheme of your life.  One day soon, you will complete all the necessary requirements for certification, and be able to relocate to a larger, more accepting city where there are not relatives around every corner.  It may seem like forever, but it isn't.  Our sexual drive is a strong one, regardless of whether it's same-sex driven or opposite-sex driven.  If you can have a bit more patience, my guess is you'll have boys/men lined up at your door, wherever you choose to relocate to.  Taking regular "vacations" can help too.  

Breeding Zone can be a helpful resource, but the principal resource is your own determination to survive, conquer your studies, become a truly productive man, and get outta Dodge as soon as that comes to fruition.  You have so much to offer ,,,, just try to wait a little longer until your life becomes your own, without all the expectations of others weighing you down.

My best wishes to you, Marsian.  Please reach out to us when you need to; every one of us is here to offer input for your success. 

 

On 4/6/2023 at 3:01 PM, Marsian said:

but my family asks why I'm single

#3) A good answer would be something along the lines of "I'm concentrating on my studies, building my career, and I'll let you all know when I decide to alter that fact.  

 

On 4/6/2023 at 3:01 PM, Marsian said:

On 4/6/2023 at 3:01 PM, Marsian said:

is this too much to ask?

#4)  Of course not !!  While it's true that it can be more difficult to find the love of your live within the gay-world, it happens every hour of every day somewhere.  It may be further compounded by the area you live in, which may (or may not, considering how your cousin feels when you find out what that is) be further inhibited by the "everybody knows everybody's business" construct, but that's something that can be endured.  You're young, you have needs, but you're hardly the only guy with those needs:  we are everywhere.  

[ErosWired]

5 hours ago, hntnhole said:

Females are constantly on the prowl for guys to ensnare,

Really? All of them? The entire gender? Even the lesbians? And constantly? Come now, you’re too sophisticated a thinker to resort to hyperbolic generalization. While it may be true that there are some women who seek advantage by attaching themselves to male companions, an assertion that all, or even most, do may open your argument up to claims of misogyny.

[Cumtakr]

Sorry but I'm the only gay in the village. 😉

 

[hntnhole]

On 4/17/2023 at 7:17 PM, ErosWired said:

Really? All of them?

The original post reflected straight women, and life-experience is what it is.  

[Marsian]

On 4/17/2023 at 8:54 PM, hntnhole said:

e "dark" side

maybe it's just a part of one's self that wants not to be exposed by sun's light.

 

On 4/17/2023 at 8:54 PM, hntnhole said:

No, you are not "lying".  You are protecting yourself from the judgements of others

I like the way you put it. Hadn't thought of that that way.

 

On 4/17/2023 at 8:54 PM, hntnhole said:

A good answer would be something along the lines of "I'm concentrating on my studies, building my career, and I'll let you all know when I decide to alter that fact.  

That's actually a true answer. When I was a teen I thought that gays were doomed to be single forever. I thought that everybody else was straight. So I thought of finding something that I can be passionate about it, so passionate that my will to thrive and discover would be adequate to cover my  empty social life. But now I think that I've fallen in love and this feeliing..well it makes me feel alive. I love that feeling.

[hntnhole]

7 hours ago, Marsian said:

this feeliing..well it makes me feel alive. I love that feeling.

Once real love is experienced, I think every human being feels that way.  I'm happy for you that's the case.  "Alive" is as fine a descriptor as any.  

[Marsian]

All this time nothing particular has happened but I'm still excited. We went out for drinks in the city (apart from the two of us and some other guys as well). I got a bit happy but not drunk from the drinking. We message daily but no erotic context is included. Just in a friendly basis.

There are two interesting points though

a)he calls me a word, that it literally means snow-white (but in Greek it could be used for males two since it's an adjective and has gender). He told me that I'm so pale that I deserve a special nickname (truth is I'm too pale and my hair looks almost white, maybe I have indeed a mild albinism)

b) we hadn't met for a couple of days I was too busy. I went to his cafe today, early in the morning. He sneaked behind me and hugged me real tight and we stayed like that for some seconds. I hope that implies something but I worry that it doesn't.

[NLbear]

Maybe it implies something, maybe not. But he obviously likes being around you. If he wouldn't he also wouldn't have a nickname for you.

[gingerdaddyG]

3 hours ago, NLbear said:

Maybe it implies something, maybe not. But he obviously likes being around you. If he wouldn't he also wouldn't have a nickname for you.

I agree with @NLbear - sounds promising. Perhaps you could suggest spending some time at a quiet beach with a picnic - just a chill out day - help work on your suntan, seeing as he teases you about being pale?

[ErosWired]

9 hours ago, gingerdaddyG said:

help work on your suntan, seeing as he teases you about being pale?

Danger, Will Robinson 🤖- People who are snow-white pale sometimes don’t have a ‘tan’ stage. If he’s at all like me, the skin goes from ‘translucent’ directly to ‘crispy’ with very little in between. He might, however, find an opportunity in needing frequent assistance applying SPF 50 sunblocking cream to exposed areas of his skin…

Edited May 5, 2023 by ErosWired

[gingerdaddyG]

1 minute ago, ErosWired said:

He might, however, find an opportunity in needing frequent assistance applying SPF 50 sunblocking cream to exposed areas of his skin…

That’s exactly what I was thinking - as a pale skinned ginger I’m well aware of going crispy in the sun and would always appreciate assistance when applying sunblock…

[hntnhole]

19 hours ago, Marsian said:

I hope that implies something but I worry that it doesn't.

I hope so too, but then I'm not familiar with social norms in your country.  In any case, you can be open to more, and obliquely allow him to know that, but nothing blunt or obvious. If he's "available", trying to send you a message, he'll try again.  I would if I were him. Try to find out one or two of his other interests, and talk about those with him.  Sounds like slow and gradual might work.  Maybe surprise him with a nickname of your own choosing; that would be following his lead, but not in an domineering way.   I wouldn't "worry" though - that takes too much of your time and energy.

Give him your warmest smile next time - nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Good luck !!!

Edited May 5, 2023 by hntnhole

[Marsian]

5 hours ago, gingerdaddyG said:

That’s exactly what I was thinking - as a pale skinned ginger I’m well aware of going crispy in the sun and would always appreciate assistance when applying sunblock…

I know the feeling. I am not ginger though (although I love that color). I feel more like "bleached" although my eyebrows  are 98% white and 2% blond. My beard is like 60% white 40% blonde and my hair are  more blonde than white. Thankfully and unlike alphism my eyes are blue and not red.

 

3 hours ago, hntnhole said:

I hope so too, but then I'm not familiar with social norms in your country.  In any case, you can be open to more, and obliquely allow him to know that, but nothing blunt or obvious. If he's "available", trying to send you a message, he'll try again.  I would if I were him. Try to find out one or two of his other interests, and talk about those with him.  Sounds like slow and gradual might work.  Maybe surprise him with a nickname of your own choosing; that would be following his lead, but not in an domineering way.   I wouldn't "worry" though - that takes too much of your time and energy.

There's something straight about norms in Greece. Half people will call you gay if you hug a man and half (straight) men will hug you and kiss you on your cheek.

We message almost daily. I did something reckless today though. I touched his hair (some part of it is cut very short) and my finger glided (or slided?) across them. I told him I like the pointy feeling and he smiled before he moved on. Then I realised that that was too much for me. Several str8 guys have left me to touch them in their hands, arms hair or whatever. I believe that some people just feel nice around me and they do not regard this as potential sexual/romantic so nothing inside them kicks. So although that thing with the hair could imply something, based on my experience it does not.

I haven't found a nickname for him. I always call him either cousin or with a name I used to call him when I was little. His name was hard to pronounce so I had found a brief alternative. I use that

 

 

5 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Danger, Will Robinson 🤖- People who are snow-white pale sometimes don’t have a ‘tan’ stage. If he’s at all like me, the skin goes from ‘translucent’ directly to ‘crispy’ with very little in between. He might, however, find an opportunity in needing frequent assistance applying SPF 50 sunblocking cream to exposed areas of his skin…

You are right, I'm just turning red, no tanning. I always wear some special t-shirt on the bitch and a hat. It's ridiculous but there's no other way.

[gingerdaddyG]

2 minutes ago, Marsian said:

I feel more like "bleached" although my eyebrows  are 98% white and 2% blond. My beard is like 60% white 40% blonde and my hair are  more blonde than white. Thankfully and unlike alphism my eyes are blue and not red.

You sound gorgeous. I have a gay friend (no sexual connection) who sounds very similar in colouring to you and I think he’s very attractive! 
Be confident - you are a beautiful person and you deserve a good man in your life 

[hntnhole]

On 5/5/2023 at 2:40 PM, Marsian said:

glided (or slided?)

Either is correct, except the past tense of "slide" is "slid" (I know, sometimes correct grammar makes no sense at all). 

How interesting that he not only allowed it, but smiled when you ran a finger through his hair.  That was a fairly clear message, and your reward was a smile !!  I think you've got his Cock's attention, especially since you text message almost daily, but go slowly - a brief smile isn't a direct invitation either.  Reel him in gently, obliquely, very gradually, and when it happens (sounds like it will at some point), we're waiting to hear the good news. 

Remember, the turtle was slower than the rabbit in the race, but the turtle won after all 😉

Edited May 6, 2023 by hntnhole