Ever been really angry at a hookup?

[tallslenderguy]

Ha, just seeing this discussion, missed it first go round.

Out of prolly a few thousand connections with guys, i can count on one hand the number of times i've felt "anger."  Twice to be exact. i was pretty faggoty as a little kid and, before i constructed a closet to hide in, i  attracted a lot of bullies. i got picked on and beat up, seemed to attract bullies like a magnet to lead filings. Retrospectively, i've come to believe that what i often experienced was early age, and an immature/ignorant version of, D/s dynamic. i'm pretty naturally sub and i think a lot of the bullies were naturally dom, but at that early age none of us had a clue how to deal with our attractions or nature.  

But the bullying did leave its impression on me, it molded me.  To this day, i have an almost visceral aversion to force, meanness, bullying. i also practiced martial arts for 25 years, and i think that was largely a compensatory thing for me, a response to childhood bullying. 

One guy tried to dominate me using a bullying approach as he started to fuck me. i didn't have to say anything though. my response was reflexive and my body tensed in a sort of attack response, he read my body language immediately and changed his approach just as fast.  The emotion i experienced was definitely anger. It wasn't a rational response though, just suddenly there and  just as suddenly gone once he backed off on the aggressive part.

The other time was at a bathhouse. i was lying on my back and the guy was straddling me and suddenly pinched my nipples really hard lol.  i'm not a masochist at all (well, maybe spanking), and my nipples are only erogenous with very light touch. Same immediate reflexive response, he was suddenly on the floor with me straddling him and this look of shock on his face. Again, once the 'threat' was gone, so was the anger, which he seemed to see as well, so we continued and He knew not to try that again . 

i think it's easy, and pretty common, for guys to be presumptuous in the easy sex hook up world we live in.  Mostly i attribute that to immaturity, and i equate self absorption/self centeredness with immaturity.  For me, sex is about connecting mutual need/desire. i believe it should be symbiotic, and that requires some amount of communication. That "communication" may be as basic as a hole silently presenting in a dark room or at a GH, but it gets the message across. And really, having a cock up ones ass is pretty intimate.  Some may take that as an invitation to fist, how they attempt it and how permission is granted can vary though.