Open Relationships

[Baralvr26]

So far I like the different views ad educated thoughts on open relationships in this discussion.

Honestly I am in a type of predicament. I have had many boyfriends before and my current one is honestly the best person I have ever met. Only issue is that he sees sex as love, I see sex as just sex, to me love is the intimacy of enjoying each other's company and wanting to spend every moment together.

I am a very sexual person and like dicks and asses of many sizes, I like variety. I've come to discover that I want the type of relationship where my partner and I can be cum pigs together or even at separate times and then cuddle and spend time together after. However my bf finds that disgusting and I can see why he would view it since he wants a sort of heteronormative relationship.

For the meantime I'm still with him and trying to make it work to the best of my ability. However I don't see myself ever raising kids, after taking care of my own siblings and parents for years I just want to explore the world, and enjoy myself.

I am going to have to make the tough discussion with him someday and he can choose whether to stay with me or leave.

If anyone has went from a monogamous relationship into an open one over time, how was your experience? Any input or advice is welcomed, especially sice I'm barely 24 and not necessarily the most experienced at all when it comes to life and relationships.

Thankyou

[bareback-flipflop]

On 3/20/2024 at 7:16 PM, NordicBtm said:

You’re my idol 😁😘😈🐽

Mine is too. This is how I imagane the ideal relationship 😈🐷😍

[bareback-flipflop]

On 3/29/2024 at 7:44 PM, PollaDeMiel said:

Communication. Honesty. Respect. Understanding. Love. Openness. Free will. Friendship. Loyalty.

We've been together for three decades now. Open from the very first day. Laid down the limits and agreed to a few ground rules. Each couple has its own dynamic. However, the ingredients mentioned above are key to a healthy and long lasting partnership. 

If couples are honest about their wants, needs, desires, it's up to them to figure it out how to make it work. The trick is to find the one who has the same set of values as you. 

But communication, honesty and respect are paramount. If you can't be honest with your partner about your likes, wants, desires then the partnership will fail sooner or later. Hiding things, lies, cheating, betrayals are all easy to surface. 

 

 

And here comes my mate on the same wavelength. 

[bareback-flipflop]

So…

I can accept if someone believes in monogamy but in this case he’s not my man. I don’t believe in monogamy, it simply doesn’t work for me. 
And I agree with @Baralvr26, love is love, sex is sex. Sex is a biological need. I know it’s simplification but it’s a bit similar to eating. Is it cheating to have a lunch with anyone else? Of course not. But if this lunch is more than just meeting a biological need, there is something emotional plus, it’s cheating in my eyes. 

However, I agree with @PollaDeMiel, the key is the honesty. I always share my principles with the guys I date with (it’s not too often) but they are surprised and not supportive. LoL Even though I know many couples who live in deep love, harmony and open relationships.

My desire to find someone with I can have a strong bond, pure love and romantic relationship. My ideal Saturday with him would start with a hot passionate sex, after that breakfast together, we would go to excursion or an exhibition, maybe theatre, then dinner together. At night we would go together to a cruising bar orgy, having sex with as many guys as possible. Doing it together and separately. Enjoying the view of each other’s sex with others. Finally we go home, and have a passionate love making with many kisses and hugs.

A perfect combination of romance and pure sexual pleasure.

I’m afraid it stays only a dream. At least in Hungary.

 

[chipygmalion80]

On 9/28/2024 at 5:58 AM, Baralvr26 said:

So far I like the different views ad educated thoughts on open relationships in this discussion.

Honestly I am in a type of predicament. I have had many boyfriends before and my current one is honestly the best person I have ever met. Only issue is that he sees sex as love, I see sex as just sex, to me love is the intimacy of enjoying each other's company and wanting to spend every moment together.

I am a very sexual person and like dicks and asses of many sizes, I like variety. I've come to discover that I want the type of relationship where my partner and I can be cum pigs together or even at separate times and then cuddle and spend time together after. However my bf finds that disgusting and I can see why he would view it since he wants a sort of heteronormative relationship.

For the meantime I'm still with him and trying to make it work to the best of my ability. However I don't see myself ever raising kids, after taking care of my own siblings and parents for years I just want to explore the world, and enjoy myself.

I am going to have to make the tough discussion with him someday and he can choose whether to stay with me or leave.

If anyone haswentt from a monogamous relationship into an open one over time, how was your experience? Any input or advice is welcomed, especiallysicee I'm barely 24 and not necessarily the most experienced at all when it comes to life and relationships.

Thankyou

Have you talked about his comfort with you loving him the way he is, and loving you the way you are?

My hubby encourages me to have hookups. But he has a low sex drive.

We used to have 3ways and still get asked to have them by single guys. What works best for me is another guy who also doesn't have much sex with their partner.

Americans are weird about sex talks. I found it's easiest to talk with my hubby in humorous ways. Like he doesn't want to know details but will crack a joke, like when I take a trip:

"the hotel didn't kick you out? Your door must have been revolving."

 

[Baralvr26]

2 hours ago, chipygmalion80 said:

Have you talked about his comfort with you loving him the way he is, and loving you the way you are?

My hubby encourages me to have hookups. But he has a low sex drive.

We used to have 3ways and still get asked to have them by single guys. What works best for me is another guy who also doesn't have much sex with their partner.

Americans are weird about sex talks. I found it's easiest to talk with my hubby in humorous ways. Like he doesn't want to know details but will crack a joke, like when I take a trip:

"the hotel didn't kick you out? Your door must have been revolving."

 

I have in the past but he told me that he he doesn’t want me playing with other guys and he doesn’t want to play with others. He informed me the only way is if he can be polyamorous, but the thing is that I am polysexual, can have sex with others but can only have an emotional connection to one guy. He doesn’t see the difference between sex and love and believes they are all the same. 
 

it has been about a year and a half since that discussion and I’m going to bring it up at the beginning of next year when we are out of college. Mostly want to be honest about how I want to be sexually adventurous and do not wish to raise kids in the future. I have already raised my siblings and took care of my parents for years and want to finally take care of myself after so many years. I know there’s a slim chance of us working about, but a much larger chance of separating due to our differences in what we value and view as love and sex. 
 

also thank you @chipygmalion80 for your insight and experience, I will add that in my notes on the different ways relationships are able to work. 👍