Fisting Advice

[Guest]

54 minutes ago, Leatherman667 said:

Thanks  EuRawBull! I’d Love to know the ‘right’ way to go about it. I like to fist, but I sometimes wonder if I’m doing it properly! Care to share some of the rules?

I can do that for sure, but I'm afraid it would need to be in a different thread so that we don't change too much the topic here.

However, some basics can be useful for any barebackers here:

Fister:

Trim and file your nails. the smoother your fingers, the better experience. Wash your hands thoroughly before and after.

Use lube in abundance. If the fistee has a preferred lube nearby (and any experienced fistees will have one) use it.

Don't fist if you're high. not even on poppers. Imperative that the fister is sober so that they can read clearly the body signs of the fistee such as pain, discomfort, pleasure... Don't attempt fist on anyone who appears to be high or drunk. You can do a lot of damage to that guy because their senses are altered and can't tell the pain threshold.

Stop means stop. No, really! Stop means stop. If the fistee tells you to stop, you stop. Absolutely no questions or 'Let's try this one more time'. 

Start opening your fistee's hole with gentle moves. You will be able to 'upgrade' to punching and more rough fisting later in the session. Starting with a couple of fingers, move up to three and four. The thumb should be the last one to go in. By the way, you don't fist using straight palm, but put together your fingers in a duck beak position. 

Depending on your level of skill and experience of the fistee you can go next in the clenched fist (used for pounding). Going deeper will require your fist to slightly change shape based on the fistee's anatomy. Not two people are exactly the same so you need to 'feel' the inner colon and move slowly to adapt to the bend of the colon. You also need to be in touch with reality and figure out that if you have bigger hands, you will need to be more patient and allow time for the fistee to adjust to you.

 

Fistee:

Fisting, unlike fucking, must be enjoyed whilst sober. Sure, you can get a bit of poppers to kick off but go really easy on poppers. It is of paramount importance that you remain alert throughout the session. sensation of pain is your best friend and it must not be dulled at any moment. That's how you know if you are into being fisted or not. If you cannot take a fist whilst sober, than fisting is not for you. There is nothing wrong with you if fisting is not for you. It takes years of practice to really enjoy it.

If you are novice, search and look for an experienced fister. Again, you can do a lot of damage to yourself if the fister is not experienced.

Start training by using regular sized dildoes. Don't force yourself on the monster ones you see in the movies. The guys using them had years of training before that. Using a butt plug will get your hole trained to stay open for longer periods of time. But again, start on the smaller side. Buying and using a larger one is not for the beginners. You need to graduate size by size.

Always use plenty of lube. Also, remember that a hand and a fist is significantly different in shape than a dildo. 

Other considerations:

Cleaning beforehand is, of course, a pre-requisite for a successful session, but experienced men into fisting will tell you that once in a blue moon accidents happen. As a fister, please don't freak out. That will traumatise the fistee and will put an abrupt end to the fisting experience. Just take it easy, clean thoroughly your hand and offer the fistee a chance to clean up a bit more and take a break. Once again, accidents happen and fisting is not your usual fucking experience. It is physical and emotional at the same time.  

In a fucking situation, a cumdump can take a large cock and move to the next and so on. The mental connection is minimal in a 'traditional' cock doing the fucking situation., In a fisting session, the connection is first and foremost mental between the fister and the fistee. There is a great deal of trust afforded to the fister, one which should not be abused. 

You will hear and see writings of people claiming that they took 2 fists in the first session, and that their pussy can take Arnold's forearms in one go. I am not saying that these cases do not exists. But they are as rare as Nobel prize winners: you read about them but rarely, if ever, you meet one of them IRL.

I repeat myself that fisting is an art which is constantly being perfected by practice by both fisters and fistees.  Don't attempt fisting if you are not sober. 90% of men who attempted getting fisted whilst high, end up in Emergency with a bruised rectum at best, or in the OR with a stoma for a year in a more extreme cases.

 

For significantly more info go to [think before following links] https://fistfy.com/anal-fisting-guide/

 

 

[FallenLad]

Just want to say that as someone who's been getting fisted for 10 years or so, EuRawBull's advice is perfect.

His points about being sober are worth stressing. Plenty of people fist on chems, but fisting has such a potential for serious injury when not done properly that both parties need to be aware of what they're doing. I'll have a couple of drinks beforehand and use poppers. But I don't get drunk and I won't get fisted by someone who's clearly wasted or high.

Getting experience with being fisted is a slow journey, and it's definitely best to take your time and learn gradually.

 

[wh0rehole]

Phenomenal advice in this thread.

I would just add, because it's not made explicitly clear, though certainly implied.

Bottoms - bring your own lube. This is the safest way to make sure it isn't altered or "enhanced". My personal favorite is X-Lube, but adding a little grease such as Slam Dunk can definitely make things easier.

Again, because it's important, don't trust your top to have the best lube. BRING YOUR OWN LUBE.

[FelchingPisser]

Great advice.  I would add that a fisting session is all about communication.  Bottoms are in charge. " Stop, " "slow down," "give me a minute,"  "ready for more," "harder...." are all things tops need to hear and follow.  It is his hole--he is in charge!

[phukhole]

Good advice so far.  I will reiterate - LUBE.  Use more than you have ever used for fucking.  Reapply as it dries out/gets sticky - you want a slippery, silky feel.  Take your time.  If you need to stop or change angles or reapply, communicate what you're doing/feeling.  When I'm fisting a man, I like to tell him abut his hole opening up and how it feels wrapped around my wrist/forearm.  I reassure him when he's anxious, but I stop when he needs me to.  It's an incredibly intimate act to fist someone. It requires trust. I make sure to build and strengthen that trust at all times.It's a trade off - I protect him and keep him safe and he lets me gape and stretch his hole and marvel at my handy work! <oink>

[bareback-flipflop]

Guys, this is one of the most important threads not only on this site but wherever. 
If a gay sex academy would exist it would be a mandatory subject. 
I agree with @EuRawBull’s all words in 1000 percentage (which is not surprising, ai know it can be boring but we are always on the same wavelength) and also with the further comments. 
I always concerned about the fistee’s clearness (I mean if he is sober) because I have never met any fistee who didn’t use any enchantments (at least grass). 
Therefore, I always very careful, clear minded and try to listen every tiny signal of the fistee’s body. 
On the other hand I tried to be fisted, and I accepted some M and although I can’t say that I wasn’t sober but I wasn’t fully in charge and it resulted a mild injury in my rectum. 

[wh0rehole]

8 hours ago, phukhole said:

... When I'm fisting a man, I like to tell him abut his hole opening up and how it feels wrapped around my wrist/forearm.  ... - I protect him and keep him safe and he lets me gape and stretch his hole and marvel at my handy work! <oink>

So, uh, not to take this thread off topic, but are you looking for any new fisting buddies @phukhole? Because I really like to hear these things from a top.

Also, curious what the draw is for the top. Like, I know why we bottoms want t get fisted, but why do tops like to do it? I'm happy to offer up my hole to a fun fister, it just feels so good. What do you tops get out of it?

[Guest]

13 hours ago, bareback-flipflop said:

Therefore, I always very careful, clear minded and try to listen every tiny signal of the fistee’s body. 
On the other hand I tried to be fisted, and I accepted some M and although I can’t say that I wasn’t sober but I wasn’t fully in charge and it resulted a mild injury in my rectum. 

To begin with, I hope that you @bareback-flipflop haven't been injured to the extent that would deter you in the future from enjoying a fist. But for anyone else, this is a real-life testimony that being fisted whilst high / drunk comes with potential risks. 

Also, the advice above was only ever meant to be a very short and condensed "TLDR" version of what one should know about fisting. Whoever wants to get into fisting - both role included, you guys need serious reading on the subject.  And I am being dead serious when I say that a good fister must have a good knowledge of human anatomy. It one thing to stick your 'big and hard 10" cock" (which in reality translates to more like 7, but that's another story) in a man's rectum, and a totally different ball game to push your fist and hand past the point of resistance and deep inside a man's gut. 

 Fisting is an art in sexual activities. When done right, both participants can immerse themselves in hours and hours of play - something that rarely can be done with just simple fucking. Let me elaborate...

For a fister, what @phukhole said ("It's an incredibly intimate act to fist someone. It requires trust. I make sure to build and strengthen that trust at all times. It's a trade off - I protect him and keep him safe and he lets me gape and stretch his hole and marvel at my handy work!") is absolutely bang on. Fisting requires trust and emotional connection. It puts me, as a fister, in control of someone else's destiny and life. And no, it is not a stretch to say that (even if the hole was stretched - pun intended), because if I move my hand or fingers too abrupt or in the slightly wrong direction, I can damage the delicate lining of the intestines, the gut and other organs. If the fister doesn't know what he's doing or he is a novice and all that he saw was a punching movement on some pornhub movie, the fister will most surely damage the rectum, the intestine, the gut or even worse, cause a perforation which needs to be treated within a max 60 to 90 minutes. Left any longer, it will cause a very fast spreading infection, bleeding and let's be honest, it can be lethal. I don't want to scare anyone, because fisting is one of the most intimate acts I have ever known, both as a fister and a fistee. 

As a fister, my high comes from being in control and being trusted. It is not a control gained by violence or dominance. It is control gained through unbreakable trust and confidence that the fistee has put in me. In the moment when my fist goes past the first ring, I am one and the same with the fistee. It is difficult to explain in words a feeling of 'oneness'. The emotional bond that is formed in that moment is exhilarating. As a fister, I am now in control of not only my life and body but at the same time I am in control of someone else's body and emotions. My fist movements will generate immense pleasure to the fistee and their reaction to pleasure transfers in real time to me. An almost imperceptible movement of one of my fingers will touch nerves that send to brain messages of both danger and pleasure at the same time. Which is why fisting is such a complex activity. 

When I fist someone the connection needs to be there. The existence of chemistry between the two people must be there. If I sense that the guy is not really into me but he wants a fist then I politely decline. I must sense connection. And the same goes when I am the fistee. If I don't sense a two-way communication and connection, then I cannot physically open up. 

@FelchingPisser mentions communication during fisting. Absolutely paramount. You cannot achieve a good fisting session without constant communication. Sometimes, it is verbal, sometimes can be body language, eyes movement, mouth twitch, nipples hardening, etc. The cues are endless. That is why is so important to be sober so that communication is not impaired by drugs. I am not saying that a bit of poppers, a whiff of weed or a glass of wine would render the session impossible. But it is imperative that you stay true to your senses. The problem with drugs is that a infinitesimally small number of people can do only a glass of wine or stop after two or three snorts of poppers. And there lies the problem. Once you start doing poppers, weed, and/or all the other letters of the alphabet, you lose control and damage is inevitable. Staying sober is very difficult for the fistees in general because it involves an unnatural stretch of the anus. And it is painful. Because of that, many resort to inhaling more than necessary poppers or other stuff. Please do not do it. Poppers and or a bit of mood setter is OK, but only that. Enough to get you to relax for the first few moments. Nothing more. All other pleasure should follow from the act itself.

If a couple cannot get the fist past the first ring, then try some other time or just acknowledge that the necessary chemistry is just not there yet. It may built over time or not. But at that particular moment, there is no point in forcing it. And that's where many fisters and fistees wannabes make the mistake of thinking that poppers and stuff will help them open up and proceed. Yes, physically perhaps it would numb the nerves, the fistee's anus will open up, a fist will go in and on. But the connection needed for a fisting session will be dulled by poppers. 

I never had a fisting session whilst high. Ever. Not as a fister, not as a fistee. The 'high' that I get from fisting someone transcends any chemical high. Similarly, a fister moving inside me generates a 'high' that cannot be achieved with any chems. 

Of course, there will be men who practice fisting on both sides and will say that chems help them achieve a good session. What they are actually saying is that they rushed through the opening act to get to the pounding and punching part - as that is mistakenly confused with the orgasm. What is begin achieved there is a chemically relaxed anus, penetrated by a randomly moving hand and arm, accompanied perhaps by some "oh, yeah, take me and open up my hole" talk. That's good for the porn show, but would achieve the pinnacle of fisting.  I once learned from an experienced fistee how to find my way inside, how and when to bend my wrist, how to slowly caress the lining and the organs around, how to make someone pee uncontrollably whilst they release their whole being to me as a fister.  This is not something you learn or do when you see a guy in the sling at a sex club.

Anyway, when done right, fisting is a mind-altering experience. For the fister it represents the trust which has been afforded by another being. For the fistee is the total release of control over their body. 

 

14 hours ago, bareback-flipflop said:

I have never met any fistee who didn’t use any enchantments (at least grass). 

Unfortunately @bareback-flipflop , my friend, you are right and unlucky at the same time. The overwhelming majority of the fistees will use enhancements. And as I said, sometimes a little bit to open up the session, a bit of chemical courage is OK. But that's about it. From there onwards, it needs to be emotional connection. The letters of the alphabet chems can open up the tightest of the tight anuses. But it will not, never, achieve the transcendental orgasm that a sober fisting session will do. Maybe you @bareback-flipflop and I will meet one of these days and take the connection we are building up to the next level 😉

 

TLDR: trim and file your nails; no drugs; plenty of lube (no, really, gallons of it ;-); communication verbal and non-verbal is essential; pain is your friend: if it's too much, stop immediately. If blood comes out, even if it's just a drop, stop and go to ER right away. A drop of blood can really be nothing. But it can also be a lot more where that drop came from. And if you manage to read it thus far, at least you have a bit more info. 

One more thing: many fisters will advocate use of gloves. Whilst it is universally accepted that gloves in fisting are strongly recommended (lower risk of infection or cuts because of fingernails, etc), I personally go for bare hands, both as a fister and fistee. The glove is a mental block for me and I'd rather wash hands for 10 min than wear or be fisted with gloves. But please understand that this is me, my risk, my level of acceptance. 

Peace, boys!

[amsrat]

37 minutes ago, EuRawBull said:

 

One more thing: many fisters will advocate use of gloves. Whilst it is universally accepted that gloves in fisting are strongly recommended (lower risk of infection or cuts because of fingernails, etc), I personally go for bare hands, both as a fister and fistee. The glove is a mental block for me and I'd rather wash hands for 10 min than wear or be fisted with gloves. But please understand that this is me, my risk, my level of acceptance. 

 

For me the same, I won't wear gloves as I miss a certain amount of sensitivity when wearing them. I "feel" my partner much better with a bare hand.

[bareback-flipflop]

8 hours ago, EuRawBull said:

To begin with, I hope that you @bareback-flipflop haven't been injured to the extent that would deter you in the future from enjoying a fist. But for anyone else, this is a real-life testimony that being fisted whilst high / drunk comes with potential risks. 

Also, the advice above was only ever meant to be a very short and condensed "TLDR" version of what one should know about fisting. Whoever wants to get into fisting - both role included, you guys need serious reading on the subject.  And I am being dead serious when I say that a good fister must have a good knowledge of human anatomy. It one thing to stick your 'big and hard 10" cock" (which in reality translates to more like 7, but that's another story) in a man's rectum, and a totally different ball game to push your fist and hand past the point of resistance and deep inside a man's gut. 

 Fisting is an art in sexual activities. When done right, both participants can immerse themselves in hours and hours of play - something that rarely can be done with just simple fucking. Let me elaborate...

For a fister, what @phukhole said ("It's an incredibly intimate act to fist someone. It requires trust. I make sure to build and strengthen that trust at all times. It's a trade off - I protect him and keep him safe and he lets me gape and stretch his hole and marvel at my handy work!") is absolutely bang on. Fisting requires trust and emotional connection. It puts me, as a fister, in control of someone else's destiny and life. And no, it is not a stretch to say that (even if the hole was stretched - pun intended), because if I move my hand or fingers too abrupt or in the slightly wrong direction, I can damage the delicate lining of the intestines, the gut and other organs. If the fister doesn't know what he's doing or he is a novice and all that he saw was a punching movement on some pornhub movie, the fister will most surely damage the rectum, the intestine, the gut or even worse, cause a perforation which needs to be treated within a max 60 to 90 minutes. Left any longer, it will cause a very fast spreading infection, bleeding and let's be honest, it can be lethal. I don't want to scare anyone, because fisting is one of the most intimate acts I have ever known, both as a fister and a fistee. 

As a fister, my high comes from being in control and being trusted. It is not a control gained by violence or dominance. It is control gained through unbreakable trust and confidence that the fistee has put in me. In the moment when my fist goes past the first ring, I am one and the same with the fistee. It is difficult to explain in words a feeling of 'oneness'. The emotional bond that is formed in that moment is exhilarating. As a fister, I am now in control of not only my life and body but at the same time I am in control of someone else's body and emotions. My fist movements will generate immense pleasure to the fistee and their reaction to pleasure transfers in real time to me. An almost imperceptible movement of one of my fingers will touch nerves that send to brain messages of both danger and pleasure at the same time. Which is why fisting is such a complex activity. 

When I fist someone the connection needs to be there. The existence of chemistry between the two people must be there. If I sense that the guy is not really into me but he wants a fist then I politely decline. I must sense connection. And the same goes when I am the fistee. If I don't sense a two-way communication and connection, then I cannot physically open up. 

@FelchingPisser mentions communication during fisting. Absolutely paramount. You cannot achieve a good fisting session without constant communication. Sometimes, it is verbal, sometimes can be body language, eyes movement, mouth twitch, nipples hardening, etc. The cues are endless. That is why is so important to be sober so that communication is not impaired by drugs. I am not saying that a bit of poppers, a whiff of weed or a glass of wine would render the session impossible. But it is imperative that you stay true to your senses. The problem with drugs is that a infinitesimally small number of people can do only a glass of wine or stop after two or three snorts of poppers. And there lies the problem. Once you start doing poppers, weed, and/or all the other letters of the alphabet, you lose control and damage is inevitable. Staying sober is very difficult for the fistees in general because it involves an unnatural stretch of the anus. And it is painful. Because of that, many resort to inhaling more than necessary poppers or other stuff. Please do not do it. Poppers and or a bit of mood setter is OK, but only that. Enough to get you to relax for the first few moments. Nothing more. All other pleasure should follow from the act itself.

If a couple cannot get the fist past the first ring, then try some other time or just acknowledge that the necessary chemistry is just not there yet. It may built over time or not. But at that particular moment, there is no point in forcing it. And that's where many fisters and fistees wannabes make the mistake of thinking that poppers and stuff will help them open up and proceed. Yes, physically perhaps it would numb the nerves, the fistee's anus will open up, a fist will go in and on. But the connection needed for a fisting session will be dulled by poppers. 

I never had a fisting session whilst high. Ever. Not as a fister, not as a fistee. The 'high' that I get from fisting someone transcends any chemical high. Similarly, a fister moving inside me generates a 'high' that cannot be achieved with any chems. 

Of course, there will be men who practice fisting on both sides and will say that chems help them achieve a good session. What they are actually saying is that they rushed through the opening act to get to the pounding and punching part - as that is mistakenly confused with the orgasm. What is begin achieved there is a chemically relaxed anus, penetrated by a randomly moving hand and arm, accompanied perhaps by some "oh, yeah, take me and open up my hole" talk. That's good for the porn show, but would achieve the pinnacle of fisting.  I once learned from an experienced fistee how to find my way inside, how and when to bend my wrist, how to slowly caress the lining and the organs around, how to make someone pee uncontrollably whilst they release their whole being to me as a fister.  This is not something you learn or do when you see a guy in the sling at a sex club.

Anyway, when done right, fisting is a mind-altering experience. For the fister it represents the trust which has been afforded by another being. For the fistee is the total release of control over their body. 

 

Unfortunately @bareback-flipflop , my friend, you are right and unlucky at the same time. The overwhelming majority of the fistees will use enhancements. And as I said, sometimes a little bit to open up the session, a bit of chemical courage is OK. But that's about it. From there onwards, it needs to be emotional connection. The letters of the alphabet chems can open up the tightest of the tight anuses. But it will not, never, achieve the transcendental orgasm that a sober fisting session will do. Maybe you @bareback-flipflop and I will meet one of these days and take the connection we are building up to the next level 😉

 

TLDR: trim and file your nails; no drugs; plenty of lube (no, really, gallons of it ;-); communication verbal and non-verbal is essential; pain is your friend: if it's too much, stop immediately. If blood comes out, even if it's just a drop, stop and go to ER right away. A drop of blood can really be nothing. But it can also be a lot more where that drop came from. And if you manage to read it thus far, at least you have a bit more info. 

One more thing: many fisters will advocate use of gloves. Whilst it is universally accepted that gloves in fisting are strongly recommended (lower risk of infection or cuts because of fingernails, etc), I personally go for bare hands, both as a fister and fistee. The glove is a mental block for me and I'd rather wash hands for 10 min than wear or be fisted with gloves. But please understand that this is me, my risk, my level of acceptance. 

Peace, boys!

Thank you bit wasn’t serious and I am already okay. I totally recovered and since then I was fucked with huge cocks. 
But what is more important, thanks for offering your experienced hands. I just wanted to ask you if you would be interested in introducing me. You have my full trust and I definitely want to feel a fist in me. 
I already received the permission to have two weeks holiday from 27 October to 10 November and I will have plenty of time for anything hot. 

[Guest]

19 hours ago, bareback-flipflop said:

Thank you bit wasn’t serious and I am already okay. I totally recovered and since then I was fucked with huge cocks. 
But what is more important, thanks for offering your experienced hands. I just wanted to ask you if you would be interested in introducing me. You have my full trust and I definitely want to feel a fist in me. 
I already received the permission to have two weeks holiday from 27 October to 10 November and I will have plenty of time for anything hot. 

I will be really happy to share my knowledge with such a great guy like yourself. Sometimes connections are made even before you meet some1 IRL. You are certainly proof of that, and I'd like to show you how addictive an experienced pair of hands inside you can be. 👊🫵🤛🤜💦💦💦

[wonderfulwoof]

I love dick in my hole.  I don’t even think of topping UNLESS I can ff my partner.  Then I can’t leave ur hole w my hand or cock.

i listen I ask questions and w get as piggy as allowed.  
 

to be good u n ur partner have to react to each other always.  The only reason I ever want a three way w ff is so that whomever is the bttm is there is always an extra cock for his mouth or an extra mouth for his cock.   
 

bttm pleasure is what ff is about - the idea that u r pleasing each other so much is enough reason to get into ff

 

[LonBBfun]

So glad Ive found this discussion. Been trying to gain more ff experience in London. Given the advice re importance of sober connection for a newbie realise I should refocus my search. 
Attempts when hnh (my usual preference) have generally led to disappointment either me or top ending up too distracted.

Here’s hoping I can find some new connections willing to take on some training. Any suggestions of groups / hook up sites much appreciated 

Cheers guys will keep following the great thread 

[FF69]

3 hours ago, LonBBfun said:

So glad Ive found this discussion. Been trying to gain more ff experience in London. Given the advice re importance of sober connection for a newbie realise I should refocus my search. 
Attempts when hnh (my usual preference) have generally led to disappointment either me or top ending up too distracted.

Here’s hoping I can find some new connections willing to take on some training. Any suggestions of groups / hook up sites much appreciated 

Cheers guys will keep following the great thread 

Bunker Bar run an FF night (4th Thursday of the month). If it's like other Bunker Bar events, it should be good

[LonBBfun]

Thanks, not sure I’ll ready for club but hopefully when I’ve got so more practice in