Have you ever been in love?

[Tiboer]

I’ve been frequenting bathhouses and sex clubs since I was just out of high school—so I learned to view guys as sexual objects.  I didn’t come out of the closet until my late 20’s so those were my sexual outlets.  While I have often “really liked” certain guys, I’ve never been in love.  I think love requires opening up yourself completely—and I’ve been  so guarded much of my life.  I’ve had tons of bfs but didn’t love any of them.  It hit me the other day that I’ll likely go through life without even experiencing love.

 

Have you ever been truly in love?  What’s it like?

[BootmanLA]

4 hours ago, Tiboer said:

I’ve been frequenting bathhouses and sex clubs since I was just out of high school—so I learned to view guys as sexual objects.  I didn’t come out of the closet until my late 20’s so those were my sexual outlets.  While I have often “really liked” certain guys, I’ve never been in love.  I think love requires opening up yourself completely—and I’ve been  so guarded much of my life.  I’ve had tons of bfs but didn’t love any of them.  It hit me the other day that I’ll likely go through life without even experiencing love.

 

Have you ever been truly in love?  What’s it like?

There are probably a thousand definitions of love that people on here could make, and I doubt that any one of them is necessarily "the" way to define or describe it. But I'd say it's the feeling that you'd be prepared to sacrifice an awful lot to keep this person in your life simply because you'd rather have them in your life than not have them, even though you're perfectly capable of living without them.

I'd note that it requires a certain level of maturity and self-confidence, too - otherwise you could be talking about an infatuation or some disordered form of attachment ("I can't imagine what I'd do if he left me").

[BlueSaphir]

Yes I have. But it doesn’t lead to no where since most are just wanting casual fling. 

[Erik62]

17 hours ago, Tiboer said:

I’ve been frequenting bathhouses and sex clubs since I was just out of high school—so I learned to view guys as sexual objects.  I didn’t come out of the closet until my late 20’s so those were my sexual outlets.  While I have often “really liked” certain guys, I’ve never been in love.  I think love requires opening up yourself completely—and I’ve been  so guarded much of my life.  I’ve had tons of bfs but didn’t love any of them.  It hit me the other day that I’ll likely go through life without even experiencing love.

 

Have you ever been truly in love?  What’s it like?

43yrs down the road & we have explored the world, been there through cancers, heart surgery & now Parkinsons', bought a house, been accepted & rejected by family & found got to know cousins on the other side of the world who we both adore & they love us. I am poz (32yrs) & he is neg. We have worked together & ove our lives together. 

[PozTalkAuthor]

Yeah! Happily, proudly, in love. A relationship we have struggled, suffered, denied to ourselves pretending to be "best friends" and "close co-workers" but the truth is that we loved each other since we met, despite we started having sex 2 years ago.

I thought to be in love (and loved) by my first man, the one who took my virginity - only to discover for him heroin was more important than me then. Now he's completely sober, we are still friends but looking back it was caring, it was pity, but not love.

Then, the man who pozzed me. A serial cheater I settled down with, just to look the one serious wanting a future with another person. Silly me. Have I loved him? Yes, but it was sort of addiction.

Then after diagnosis I stayed with the first man who considered me sexually. An abuser, but my self-esteem was under my feet then.

Meanwhile I noticed this man. My "best friend and co-worker" as I called him.

He cared for me, wanted to know how my health was, even offered to keep me company in the hospital's waiting room if I needed (my latest ex, the abuser, never did).

And now, at almost 50 years old, I believe I have always been WRONG about love.

Art and literature draw it like the cliché of "butterflies in your stomach" or to fly 10 meters up from the ground, to be the center of the world and consider someone the center of the world... FOR LIFE. 

No. Love isn't that. It isn't extreme sacrifice by each other, it is not exclusivity as well.

It's caring, sharing, having projects together, trusting one another. How long did it last for me, the butterflies phase? Maybe one week. When we were curious about knowing each other sexually, October 2022. But then awareness hit us: we just needed to say "I love you" one another but the feeling was solid for years.

We currently don't live together, we don't feel it necessary. 

[upsuslc]

When I was a teenager, I had a few boy crushes, some of them reciprocated, I was very happy.