Have you ever been in love?

[Tiboer]

I’ve been frequenting bathhouses and sex clubs since I was just out of high school—so I learned to view guys as sexual objects.  I didn’t come out of the closet until my late 20’s so those were my sexual outlets.  While I have often “really liked” certain guys, I’ve never been in love.  I think love requires opening up yourself completely—and I’ve been  so guarded much of my life.  I’ve had tons of bfs but didn’t love any of them.  It hit me the other day that I’ll likely go through life without even experiencing love.

 

Have you ever been truly in love?  What’s it like?

[BootmanLA]

4 hours ago, Tiboer said:

I’ve been frequenting bathhouses and sex clubs since I was just out of high school—so I learned to view guys as sexual objects.  I didn’t come out of the closet until my late 20’s so those were my sexual outlets.  While I have often “really liked” certain guys, I’ve never been in love.  I think love requires opening up yourself completely—and I’ve been  so guarded much of my life.  I’ve had tons of bfs but didn’t love any of them.  It hit me the other day that I’ll likely go through life without even experiencing love.

 

Have you ever been truly in love?  What’s it like?

There are probably a thousand definitions of love that people on here could make, and I doubt that any one of them is necessarily "the" way to define or describe it. But I'd say it's the feeling that you'd be prepared to sacrifice an awful lot to keep this person in your life simply because you'd rather have them in your life than not have them, even though you're perfectly capable of living without them.

I'd note that it requires a certain level of maturity and self-confidence, too - otherwise you could be talking about an infatuation or some disordered form of attachment ("I can't imagine what I'd do if he left me").

[BlueSaphir]

Yes I have. But it doesn’t lead to no where since most are just wanting casual fling. 

[Erik62]

17 hours ago, Tiboer said:

I’ve been frequenting bathhouses and sex clubs since I was just out of high school—so I learned to view guys as sexual objects.  I didn’t come out of the closet until my late 20’s so those were my sexual outlets.  While I have often “really liked” certain guys, I’ve never been in love.  I think love requires opening up yourself completely—and I’ve been  so guarded much of my life.  I’ve had tons of bfs but didn’t love any of them.  It hit me the other day that I’ll likely go through life without even experiencing love.

 

Have you ever been truly in love?  What’s it like?

43yrs down the road & we have explored the world, been there through cancers, heart surgery & now Parkinsons', bought a house, been accepted & rejected by family & found got to know cousins on the other side of the world who we both adore & they love us. I am poz (32yrs) & he is neg. We have worked together & ove our lives together. 

[PozTalkAuthor]

Yeah! Happily, proudly, in love. A relationship we have struggled, suffered, denied to ourselves pretending to be "best friends" and "close co-workers" but the truth is that we loved each other since we met, despite we started having sex 2 years ago.

I thought to be in love (and loved) by my first man, the one who took my virginity - only to discover for him heroin was more important than me then. Now he's completely sober, we are still friends but looking back it was caring, it was pity, but not love.

Then, the man who pozzed me. A serial cheater I settled down with, just to look the one serious wanting a future with another person. Silly me. Have I loved him? Yes, but it was sort of addiction.

Then after diagnosis I stayed with the first man who considered me sexually. An abuser, but my self-esteem was under my feet then.

Meanwhile I noticed this man. My "best friend and co-worker" as I called him.

He cared for me, wanted to know how my health was, even offered to keep me company in the hospital's waiting room if I needed (my latest ex, the abuser, never did).

And now, at almost 50 years old, I believe I have always been WRONG about love.

Art and literature draw it like the cliché of "butterflies in your stomach" or to fly 10 meters up from the ground, to be the center of the world and consider someone the center of the world... FOR LIFE. 

No. Love isn't that. It isn't extreme sacrifice by each other, it is not exclusivity as well.

It's caring, sharing, having projects together, trusting one another. How long did it last for me, the butterflies phase? Maybe one week. When we were curious about knowing each other sexually, October 2022. But then awareness hit us: we just needed to say "I love you" one another but the feeling was solid for years.

We currently don't live together, we don't feel it necessary. 

[upsuslc]

When I was a teenager, I had a few boy crushes, some of them reciprocated, I was very happy.

[KindaBasic]

Been in love at different times, but never found love in a bathhouse. Not that I look for it or want it from there. I don’t even use my name and always refuse to exchange numbers. 

[Njn0mc]

Many years ago.. my 1st guy that got me into the leather fetish and bondage.  He was a friend with a BF but he took me to a level of pleasure and pain I never experienced. He got me many time to a point of passing out. The toys whips and electro play was amazing.  Great looking which helped but he was a great master. Taught me all kinds of things with chemsex and without.  Taught me how to be a good sub for his pleasure. I was so falling for him.... One night i was tied on his bed he fucked me non stop then after he played with my prostate I told him how I felt.  He smiled and said I kinda also. We kept it to ourselves. Normally I would bottom for the both of them.

 

Him and his bf were amazing but jealously kinda hit with them do to my visits were once or twice a week.  

Was a great period in life.

[backdoorjimmy]

I fell in love for the first time when I was 18 - we met at a party I'd been invited to by an FWB. He and I dated for 3 years and had a blast. We did couple things like date nights and cuddling, and we did hot things like hooking up with other couples and finding big dicks to suck together. We finally broke up because we weren't sexually compatible. I'm a total bottom and he's bottom-vers at best. There was a need that I just couldn't fulfill and I totally get it. We're still FWB's and best friends forever.

The next time I fell in love was during the pandemic in 2020. I'd met three amazing guys who all lived together, and grew attached to the oldest. He was in his 40's at the time and was always extra affectionate with me after sex. So I quarantined with them and things blossomed from there. Eventually he claimed me as his bitch and I fell head over heels in love with him. We're still together and I an honestly say I'm the happiest I've ever been. We do all the couple stuff that I used to with my ex, but he's a total top who doesn't yearn for more than I can give him sexually. We both play around on the side, but he's my ride or die and I'm his.

[bareback-flipflop]

Of course I fell in love many times. At least I supposed to. But the first loves were typically high school admiration for classmates (all of them were girls, oh my god , denials 🙈😂)

I liked my first boyfriend but it wasn’t love. It happened only weeks after I realised I wasn’t bisexual who wanted love with girls and sex with boys but I wanted a boyfriend. He was a boyfriend material but I never fell in love with him. After a breakup and restarting, in the twentieth month of our relationship I met him. He wasn’t the sexiest or the most beautiful man. But he was funny, kind and unexplainable sad. It made me curious and started to talk with him. And again and again. I needed it. Officially we were only mates and I had my boyfriend at home. Once I gave him a lift and when he left my car I felt emptiness. I missed him. And since then I had been continuously checking my phone if he texted me. Every single notification caused me excitement and I felt happiness when he texted me. Then I felt I fell in love with him. 
It was a love. In the beginning it was the burning desire and passion, later it transformed into something deep and strong bond. I tried to spend more and more time with him. Because we had great times together. Even though the sex was a disaster ( if we ever had). 
I still felt love for him when he left me saying that he didn’t want this life anymore. What he did and say and the way how he did this killed me a bit. 

On the other hand, this was the liberation of my real nature   
 

later I felt something similar to falling in love. I met every guy in sex parties. Honestly, I don’t know if these feelings were love or admiration    

[ktopper]

Only with a few ladies. Never with a guy. At least not beyond the point where I got off in his ass, LOL! The strange thing is that as I have gotten older I have became much more interested in sex with guys than sex with women. I am bisexual and while I like that orientation I think it creates certain limitations to my sex life with men, emotional involvement on a deeper level being one.

What's love like? Someone, I forget who, described it as an egotism of two. It can be Heaven and Hell at the same time, bliss and torture intertwined. Again, I have only experienced heterosexual love but I imagine homosexual love would be much the same.

[Davidc]

Yes , Truly  , madly , deeply.

Been together for almost 40 years

[topblkmale]

On 9/25/2024 at 1:24 PM, Tiboer said:

I’ve been frequenting bathhouses and sex clubs since I was just out of high school—so I learned to view guys as sexual objects.  I didn’t come out of the closet until my late 20’s so those were my sexual outlets.  While I have often “really liked” certain guys, I’ve never been in love.  I think love requires opening up yourself completely—and I’ve been  so guarded much of my life.  I’ve had tons of bfs but didn’t love any of them.  It hit me the other day that I’ll likely go through life without even experiencing love.

 

Have you ever been truly in love?  What’s it like?

 

You will fall in love one day.

When you least expect it and with the guy you least suspected you would fall for.

He'll be the wrong one.

 

[meetme]

Wow, that last comment is so staggeringly negative.  I know plenty of people in love with the wrong one and they don’t seem to mind.  Being in love or feeling love have to be the strongest most positive parts of a healthy life. But you have to work at it and be willing to let it change you.

[FTLBBversbttm]

There is someone for everyone.  Believe that.